The Watchtower

“We’ll get through this, Jess,” I say, frustrated. What do I have to do to tell her she has nothing to be afraid of? I sit down next to her and snatch the remote control to switch the television off.

She sighs. “What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” I yell, agitated. “What do YOU want from me?”

“Nothing.”

“Jesse, I know this move is going to be hard, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes if you are.”

“Okay.” She says it monotonically.

“No, it’s not okay!” I glare at her. “Why can’t you get this insane paranoia out of your head? Why are you letting it consume you like this?”

“Because you’re still pretty young!” she says calmly. “You have a world of possibilities in front of you. You have plenty of choices you can make. And I’m not tying you down.”

“Jess,” I say, shocked. “Are you saying that you regret our relationship?”

“No,” she says, miserably. “I just regret that I might have pulled you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I’m not fourteen, you know,” I snap, losing my temper. “I know what it’s like to feel. I know what it means to love someone. And I know that I want you.” She doesn’t even flinch at my outburst. It’s a practiced indifference that Jesse is infuriatingly good at.

She gets up. “Well, I’m off to sleep,” she says.

I am not letting her get away that easily. “No, you’re not,” I say, letting rage enter my tone. She stops immediately.

“Sit down,” I say gruffly, pushing her back down on the couch with my hands. She’s physically much stronger and bigger than me, but when I want, I can make her putty in my hands. I push her back against the couch and loom over her, putting my hands on her shoulders. “I’m going to *make* you believe me,” I hiss.

Her eyes widen a little, but she is powerless. I can almost hear her mind screaming: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop her?

I start unbuttoning her shirt roughly. Soon, I have pulled it off her. I unsnap her bra and throw it off, revealing her hard nipples on her beautiful, smooth breasts. I let my fingers brush against them. She is frozen in place on the couch, exactly where I want her to be. Her lips have become an ‘O’, and her breathing is getting faster. I sit down on the coffee table in front of the couch for a moment, to gaze at my prey. I leer at her for a few seconds. “What will you do, Jesse, when I’m gone?” I ask her tauntingly. “Whose eyes will make your skin burn the way mine do, Jess?”

She doesn’t answer me, but she meets my gaze defiantly. This is the part where she struggles to choose between her pride and her desire to trust me. And usually, she chooses to trust me. Tonight, though, I have my doubts.

I keep eye contact with her as I move toward her again. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought this through, honey,” I say in a hoarse voice. “Since you’re so sure that I’m going to disappear from your life...you must have thought about the consequences.” I slip my fingers under the belt of her leather pants and stroke her skin lightly, knowing that I am making her tremble in front of me. I push my hand down and tease her clit through her panties, listening to her instant gasping.

“Oh, you want more, don’t you?” I whisper in her ear, sitting down beside her. “You want me to touch you, don’t you? You want me to kiss you and lick you and feed you strawberries in cream and make you scream with joy. The way I always do, right? You want to enjoy these last few moments we have together before I leave forever.”

She drops her gaze finally. A deep red flush is creeping up her neck. “Why are you embarrassed, Jess?” I whisper. “It’s only me. I’ve seen your naked body a million times. I’ve touched it a million more. I’ve seen right through you even more than that. Why do you even try to hide anything from me?” I slide my fingers up from her belt, circling her stomach, moving between her breasts and tracing her collarbone as I lower my lips to her neck, taking a quick bite out of it, making her entire body jump.

“Don’t you dare move,” I order. “I’ll be right back.” From the look on her face, I am sure she isn’t going anywhere.

I come back to find her exactly the way she was when I left. Face flushed, naked from the waist up, arms folded in her lap meekly, chest rising and falling with her quickened breaths. I am in my leather underwear, restraints in my hands.

“Undress,” I command her, sitting down on the coffee table again. “Strip down and sit in front of me in only your panties.” She obeys me and slips off her leather pants and boots quickly as I watch her.

I rest a hand on her pussy through her panties. I feel the juices starting to drip already. I lean above her so that my lips are almost touching hers. “You don’t think I mean what I say, Jesse,” I say sadly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t live with that. Either I’ll make you change your mind, or I’ll walk out that door tonight. I promise you that.” She wants to kiss me, but I won’t let her.

Instead I pull her forward by her head, whip her arms behind her lightening-fast, and tie them up using the leather restraints. I force her back, making her lean against the back of the couch so that her breasts are jutting out invitingly toward me.

“Touch me,” she whimpers, trying to move her body upwards toward mine, the scent of the leather overwhelming her.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I bark. “You don’t deserve it.”

“Please. For God’s sake...” She looks at me pleadingly, with those gorgeous green eyes that I fell in love with. I nearly melt, but tell myself that I can’t give in. It’s the only way she’ll trust me again.

“Get up,” I say brusquely, pulling her up by the shoulders. I lead her to the bay view window of the apartment that looks over the Pittsburgh cityscape. “Now get down on your knees, and kneel before the window.” She knows what I’m going to do, and arousal sweeps visibly over her entire body. She leans over the window seat, the cold leather pressing against her flesh and making goose bumps rise on her skin. I get down behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and running my tongue down her back. She moans at my touch. I bite her flesh, and her body jerks in pleasure-pain.

“Do you want this?” I softly whisper. “Do you want me to *show* you that I’m yours?”

“Y-y-yes,” she says, turning her face to one side. I stroke her cheek, and kiss it softly. I nibble her earlobe. Then I pull back, letting a draft of air hit her sweating body. I spread her legs apart. I place one hand on her abdomen just above her pussy to support her body.

“Just relax,” I say, and bring down my free hand to her hips as hard as I can. I spank rhythmically and firmly, watching her head rise from the window seat and hearing an “Oh” escape her lips each time my hand makes contact. She stares out the window, straight ahead at the city lights, awestruck, both by the sight and by my touch.

I caress her stomach and abdomen with my other hand, gripping her strong muscles as I spank her. I slowly slip off her wet panties. “You’re soaked,” I sneer. “You’re soaked and I haven’t even done anything yet. You give me this kind of power over you and yet you’re willing to let me go so easily.” I stroke her hips and squeeze the flesh. I bring my lips down to her buttocks and calm the stinging skin. Then I spank her again.

I spank her till I can see her pussy swollen and begging for attention.

She is breathing so hard and fast that I think she is going to fall. “God, Pat,” she wails. “Please take me. Take me any way you want.”

“Quiet,” I say, shaking my head. I lift her up from her kneeling position. “I’m not done yet, sweetheart. You asked for this.” I blindfold her.

“What are you going to do?” she asks me, trembling with pleasurable anticipation.

“I’m going to make love to you, Jess,” I say, pulling her behind me. “I’m going to make you wish you had never doubted me.” I push her up against the dining table, and help her climb on to it. I sit her down on it so that she is facing me, her head and shoulders slightly bent. I tilt her chin upward and let my lips brush against hers slightly. “You’ve been waiting for my kiss, haven’t you?” I ask her.

She nods dumbly. I kiss her harder, running my hands down her back, over her hips, thighs and stomach. She loves the feel of my tongue piercing in her mouth. I bring my lips down from her face to her neck and finally her chest. She bites her lip.

I take each nipple in my mouth alternately and suck on it. She starts moaning loudly. I grip her neck with my arm and slip a few fingers into her mouth to let her bite them and stifle her moans. Aided by my tongue and lips, I fondle and massage her breasts with my other hand. My own pussy is dripping with my juices by now, but I know that can wait.

I sit down on a chair so that I can lower my face to the same level as her pussy. I spread her legs apart and lick the insides of her thighs until she is squirming in front of me. I flick my tongue against her pussy, her clit erect and ready. I give it a soft tug with my mouth, and Jesse tips her head back in ecstasy. “Pat,” she cries. “Oh, Pat. Please stop torturing me.”

“You’ll come when I tell you to come,” I say, ignoring her pleas.

I undo her leather restraints, but before she can grab me and start thrusting herself against me, I push her flat on the table, straddle one of her legs, and pin her arms down above her head, covering her mouth with my own. I tie up her wrists quickly, so that she is again completely at my mercy.

I slip an arm under her neck and arms, letting her tilt her head back, and pulling her mouth to mine. I squeeze her left breast and twist its nipple. She pulls back from the kiss, finding it hard to breathe. Her face shows pure rapture. “Kiss me,” I say angrily. She complies.

I move my other hand down from her breasts to her stomach and finally to her pussy. I tease her and cup her crotch lightly, feeling the heat growing, the scent of her wetness filling the room. Her free leg moves back and forth in piercing agony as I let my hand rub against her clit. Her body starts bucking upwards. I am not letting her go just yet. “Are you ready?” I ask her.

“Y-y-ehess,” she gasps.

“But I’m going to leave you, remember?” I whisper into her neck, my hand rubbing her clit harder. “What if I leave right now?”

“No...no, you wouldn’t do that,” says Jesse, her face contorted in pleasure.

“How do you know?” I demand, rolling her clit between my thumb and forefinger. “You don’t trust me. You don’t believe in me. You don’t believe in *us*.”

“I do!” she says, her voice aching with pleasure, her body writhing on my fingers beneath me.

“I don’t think you do,” I say calmly, my own heart leaping out of my chest at the sight of my beautiful girlfriend suffering so exquisitely. My hand continues to torment her pussy.

“No...I know you,” she gasps. “I know you wouldn’t do that to me.”

“*Do* you know me?” I ask, my voice dropping to a soft, husky whisper. “Do you know how much I love you? How I would run the breadth of the earth calling out your name if I couldn’t find you?”

“Yes,” she murmurs into my face. “Yes, I know.”

“Well, this time, *I* don’t believe you,” I say, getting up from the table, leaving her unfulfilled and frustrated.

“Wh-What?” she asks, still blindfolded and trying to gauge my whereabouts from my voice. “Where are you going?”

“Away.”

The word hits her hard and a shudder hits her body. “You can’t leave me here like this! Pat, please stay! Please don’t go!”

“Goodbye, Jess.” I kiss her mouth one last time and make sure she hears the door slamming shut.

******

I watch from the corner of the room. I haven’t left. I never planned to. But she thinks I have, and it is driving her insane. She is wondering what is going on...wondering whether she should scream for help. I move closer to the table noiselessly. Just the sight of her naked body dripping with her sweat and juices makes delicious tremors run through me.

“Pat, Pat!” she moans. “I love you. I *need* you. Please come back.”

Is she about to cry? I can’t resist anymore. The game is up. I am beyond pretence. All I want is to cradle her in my arms and kiss her. I get on top of her as before and start kissing her again. She is taken by surprise.

“You didn’t go,” she breathes.

“No, I didn’t go,” I pant. I take off her blindfold. “I never left. I never could.”

She smiles at me weakly. I drop my hand to her pussy again, and this time, slip my fingers inside her, pumping in and out as hard as I can, while rubbing her clit with my thumb. Her growing moans are the most beautiful music I have ever heard.

“Why...don’t...you...get...it?” I ask her, punctuating each word with a deep, possessive kiss. “I’m *yours*. Only yours.”

I bring her to an intense orgasm. Staring into her eyes in the moment where she finishes is one of my guilty pleasures. I tenderly kiss her - her eyes, nose, cheeks, chin, neck and lips – tasting the salty sweet perspiration on her skin. I take off the restraints. She brings her arms down and wraps them around my waist.

“You’re okay, right?” I ask her, looking down into her eyes, brushing the damp hair out of them. She smiles at me, still out of breath.

“God, you’re amazing,” she says at last, and I rest my head on her chest.

“Jess,” I say, quietly, trying to hold on to every part of her body at once. “I love you. And you have to believe me when I say that I’m not going anywhere. Everyday I can’t get over the fact that I could meet someone as perfect for me as you.”

“I love you, too, Pat,” says Jess, kissing my forehead. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so childish about all of this, and not talking to you about it. It’s just...it’s *you*. I mean, I’ve gotten over girlfriends in the past, but you’re the first person I’ve truly let myself depend on. Losing you...it would break me. I don’t want to have to go through that.”

“Look, Jess. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But it’ll never end for the reason that you’re dreading...me finding someone else. I won’t do that to you.”

“I believe you.”

“We’ll survive, Jess. I’ll come visit as often as I can. And you’ll do the same. We’ve made it this far, right?”

“We’ve made it this far,” she echoes, tightening her grip around my body. She turns over on her side and kisses me. “Come here, babe.”

“You don’t have to if you’re tired,” I smile impishly. “I mean, if I’ve exhausted you, it’s completely understandable.”

“We’ll see,” says Jesse, grinning back. I get off the table and beckon her to follow me to the barca lounger. I slip off my panties and bra. She kisses my neck. I guide her head down my neck, breasts and stomach, to the ache between my legs. I leave my hands in her hair as she goes down on me, and I faintly think to myself how lucky I am to have such a sweet girlfriend.

**********

ALEX
----

“I’m just going to the bathroom for a second, okay?” Adrienne leaves my arms. We have just finished dancing at a club.

“Okay,” I say, still a little wobbly from her touch. “I’ll meet you at the counter.” She walks off.

I order a beer and sit at the counter. “Hey-hey,” someone slaps my back. “What’s the big Al up to?”

“Shawn!” I jump slightly. “What are you doing here?” I’m at a club that the others don’t normally go to, primarily because I had hoped I wouldn’t run into any of them there while I’m with Adrienne.

“Oh, I get around,” Shawn smiles at me. “What’s the problem? You seem a little edgy.”

I finally notice she has an arm around a really pretty blonde girl with a short boyish haircut. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?” I ask, desperate for a change of subject.

“Oh, sorry, how rude of me,” says Shawn. “Alex, this is Taylor. Taylor, this is one of my closest friends from college, Alex.”

“Nice to meet you,” says Taylor, shaking hands with me.

“So, uhhh, did you just get here or something?” I ask, wondering if they’re planning on sticking around.

“No, but we’re not leaving any time soon,” says Shawn, giving me a dubious look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing at all,” I say quickly. “We – I mean, I – was just leaving, actually.”

“We?” asks Shawn, a look of recognition appearing on her face. “You’re here with Adrienne, aren’t you?” I don’t answer. “ALEX!” she practically yells. “Are you crazy?”

“Calm down,” I say, giving Taylor an uncomfortable smile. “It’s just a friendly thing.”

Shawn turns to Taylor and whispers something in her ear, and she walks away. Shawn looks at me again. “JUST A FRIENDLY THING? Really? Is it just a friendly thing when she puts her arms around you and you find it hard to breathe? Is it just a friendly thing when she rests her head on your shoulder and you just can’t help smelling her hair? Or when your heart beats every time you see her?”

“Shawn,” I say, guiltily, my face giving me away.

“No!” she barks. “Don’t ‘Shawn’ me! No more of this ‘just friends’ crap. It’s gone too far already. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger, and you know what, she knows it.”

“Shawn, it’s not like that,” I insist.

“Not like that?” says Shawn. “She’s using you! She’s so obviously stringing you along for an ego boost! Clearly she doesn’t get much attention from the guys because she’s no Demi Moore...”

“Fuck you, Shawn,” I say. “Don’t you dare judge her intentions.”

“Oh, because you’re being completely objective here, right?” Shawn shakes her head. “Alex, I swear, if you don’t snap out of it, I’m going to give that gorgeous ass of yours a swift kicking. You certainly need it right now.”

“Shawn, wouldja please just mind your own business?” I snap, regretting the words instantly. Shawn looks hurt.

“Alex, you know I worry about you,” she says quietly. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Well, maybe I don’t mind it,” I say, stubbornly. “Maybe I’m okay with getting hurt.”

“Yeah, but for what, Al?” asks Shawn. “For a reckless head rush?”

“Yes,” I say, insolently. “Much like the way you do the occasional recreational drugs.” I give her a disdainful smile. If Shawn thinks she has some license to do crazy things, she has no right to tell anyone else they can’t.

Shawn takes a breath. “That is completely different! I only do that socially. And I’m very careful.”

“Look, Shawn, that’s hardly the point!” I say coolly. “You don’t need to justify your choices. I leave you alone, right? So here’s a thought...leave me alone.”

Shawn throws up her hands as a sign of resignation. She knows she’s lost the argument. “Here comes your little friend,” she says sardonically, gesturing. “Have a good night.” She walks off to find Taylor.

I wave Adrienne over. “Alex, Alex!” she says, excitedly. “You’ll never believe what I just overheard.”

“What?” I smile at her eagerness.

“I passed a group of girls who were talking about your music!” she says. “Said they’d heard you perform and that you kicked fucking ass! Plus, they said your – quote-unquote – ‘sexy long legs’ made them go weak in the knees!”

I laugh. “Sexy Long Legs...or, inappropriately enough, what my basketball coach used to call me. And he was a guy.”

“But aren’t you happy?” she gushes. “People really like you! You’re making it happen!”

“Yeah, I guess things are moving along,” I grin.

“Alex!” she says, giggling, as if I still don’t get it. “You have *groupies*! Hey, when’s your gig, by the way?”

“Oh, yeah, that,” I say, cringing slightly at the realization that she’ll be bringing a date with her. “This weekend. Saturday night.”

“I’ll be there,” she promises.

Feeling a little daring, I rake a finger through a strand of her silky hair. “You’d better be.”

**********

JESSE
-----

“Coming up to bed?” Pat stands in the doorway of the study, watching over my shoulder as I type away frantically.

“Hmmm?” I ask, distractedly.

“Oh, no, here we go again,” she groans, “Jesse’s having another major geek-out. Looks like I’ll have to beam you up, Scotty.”

“Hmmm, yeah,” I chuckle.

She wraps my arms around me from behind. “Sweetheart,” I say, slightly irritated. “I can’t type with my arms locked like this.”

“Weird,” she jokes. “You sure seemed to like it the last time I did it.”

“Very funny,” I say, flushing slightly at the memory of the other night.

“You’re turning red,” she says, triumphantly.

“Don’t be silly, Pat,” I say, trying to type again, but quite obviously failing.

“Come on, baby, give it up!” says Pat, kissing my neck. “I don’t care how spaced-out you are right now, you know you want it.”

With a sigh, I get up off my chair, and let her embrace me. She cups my face in her hands, and kisses my eyes.

“Mhmmm, that feels great,” I say, conceding defeat. I kiss her lips. She lets her hands run down my body, from my neck, to my shoulders, to my breasts and to my waist. Oh, God, do I want to touch and be touched.

“By the way,” I say, struggling to keep my senses as she massages my breasts through my shirt, “I’m going to be working late for a while now.”

“What, again?” she asks, dropping her hands and looking up at me. “Why?” Every now and then I am overworked and don’t have enough time for Pat. She’s usually agreeable enough about it, but allows herself to grumble on-and-off. Besides, the grumbling usually motivates me to be extra-nice when I decide to return to the real world.

“New project,” I say, matter-of-factly.

“New project, upcoming seminar, software patching, Quake III tournament,” Pat sighs. “It makes no difference. It always has the same implications for me: no sex.”

I laugh. “Come on, it’s never *that* bad.”

“Never *that* bad?” she asks, incredulously. “Sweetheart, you should *see* yourself when you’re in your element, if you could call it that. The last time, I had to replace the vibrator’s batteries *three* times. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I thought I was going to get dry eye syndrome from watching so much television at night, hoping that I could stay up long enough to catch you when you were done.”

I smile, shrugging. Work is work. “Big projects come from time to time, babe.”

“Yeah,” she says, an eyebrow hoisted in the air. “And I would also like to come from time to time, *babe*.” 

I can’t help a grin, but I realize I really don’t have time, and sit down in front of the screen again, regaining control. “In fact, I don’t even have time to have sex tonight. I should probably get back to work.”

“Jesse,” she says calmly. “I thought we’d worked this out the other night.” She thinks this is me putting up my defenses again.

“Oh, honey, that’s not what this is about,” I say, reassuringly, placing a hand on her arm. She’s not buying it. “Hey,” I say. “Honest! I’m just really busy, is all. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” I wink at her, before the incessant hum of my typing starts again.