Two New Voicemails

It wasn’t long before Frank looked up and realized an hour had passed without them even noticing it. The couple and the stranger who had come to their door had been conversing for what seemed like forever. Jasper asked if he could excuse himself to the restroom, and as he got up, Frank nudged Jenny on the leg.
“Hon, do you think this chick is ever gonna show?”
“Good question,” said Jenny, looking curious. “Maybe she got cold feet. But then again, the night’s still young. She could be lost and pulling up any minute.”

As Jasper came back, he sat back down in his seat slowly. “So who you got coming over tonight?” he said.
“What do you mean?” asked Jenny.
“Well your man told me you were expecting some company was all. Just wondering who was gonna be joining us,” said Jasper. His grin was stretched wide just below his pencil thin moustache, giving the two a weird vibe.
“Us?” Jenny said, with an uneasy smile. The visitor had been nice, but she was felt ill equipped to handle this awkward situation. “Jasper, look, it’s getting a little late. I think my man and I are gonna settle in for the night.”
“Do you know the difference between a cunt and clown car?” Jasper said, completely ignoring her. “Nothing, if you ask a Mormon,” to which he cackled wildly.
The couple looked at each other uneasily.
“Mr. Colombia, I think what my girl is trying to say is that we’ve enjoyed your company, but we’d really like you to get going. No easy way to tell someone to leave, it always feels awkward, but it’s just something that needs to be said.” Especially in these circumstances, he thought to himself.

Jasper sat back and looked at them both, taking a long drag off of his Marlboro red and exhaling the smoke through his nose.
“So you mean to tell you aren’t expecting company? An old friend or something? I thought that was what you told me.”
“That’s none of your fucking business, Jasper,” said Jenny, completely pissed off by this time, and making no effort of hiding it. “We let your ass in for help, now see yourself to the door.”
“You know, tough talk from a little lady like you really pumps my nuts. That company you’re expecting, it’s not a woman is it? Having a little sex party are we?” asked Jasper. “A 22 year old gorgeous Irish looking girl by chance? What did the ad say…no strings attached, drinking and drugs okay, just looking for the night of our lives?” Jasper has an ear-to-ear grin on his face by this time.
Frank and Jenny were both completely flushed and pale by this point. Jenny sat on the corner of the couch, on the verge of a panic attack. Frank, visibly upset, spoke up.
“Look Colombia, let’s cut the bullshit. You’re really creeping my lady out right now, and you’re coming off like one sick bastard. What the fuck are you really doing here?” asked Frank.

“Well, you remember when I got up to use the restroom? Maybe I saw a computer web page up of some loose chick trying to hook up with a couple for a three way. Maybe I got a kick out of it and I’m just fucking with you guys. This is how you want it Frank, so I’m gonna give you an answer. You said all bullshit aside, so that’s how I’m gonna deliver it. That girl you ordered, she won’t be showing up. Jenny, first thing is first. Calm down, I ain’t no rapist, and I sure as shit ain’t gonna sexually assault you. So calm the hell down. I, like you, surf Craigslist and like to have a good time and get my rocks off. Problem is there’s not really a corner of the market for my type. I’m not a rapist, murderer, necrophiliac, or any of the other shit you’re probably thinking. I’m a voyeur. Sex with someone else does me no good whatsoever. It’s not that I just can’t cum; I can’t even get an erection. Being intimate and sharing feelings and emotions with another person isn’t exactly my forte, so to speak. I know I’ve been pretty social with you folks tonight, but in reality I’m one of the most introverted people you’ll ever meet. People assume I’m one hundred percent antisocial, but that’s really not the case. Well, I guess I take that back slightly. Maybe I did answer your ad under completely false pretenses, but hell, no harm done. I guess you also noticed the case I carried into your door that’s sitting here next to the recliner. I’m gonna let you in on the second part of my fetish.”
Frank squinted his eyes in the dim light, unable to speak or say a word. Jasper opened his case revealing a Casio keyboard.
“I’m not just a voyeur, I’m an audiophile. Music turns me on. Everything about it. Chord arrangements, tempo switches, percussions, melodies,” Jasper said. He looked at Frank and Jenny and saw that their jaws were nearing the floor figuratively speaking. If this was going to go anywhere, he would have to explain it outright.
“Ok, here’s how I’d like this to go down. I want to watch the two of you have sex while I play the keyboard. It’ll be like me providing the soundtrack. A pervert’s symphony if you will. I’d like for it to be great, so that ideally, I’ll get an erection and get the urge to jerk off. We can make this a beautiful thing,” said Jasper.
“A beautiful thing?” exclaimed Frank. “You’re one sick fuck!”
“As sick as surfing the internet for wife swapping and sex partners? Your turn to drop the bullshit now, Frank, we’re all perverts here. For fuck sake, this coming from the guy who just got out of jail today for taking a steaming shit on a mall food court table cause he thought Chick-Fil-A undercooked his waffle fries!” yelled Jasper.
“How did you know about that?” exclaimed Frank.
“I know people, my man. As a matter of fact, I think you know some buddies of mine, Hall and Nash? Those same guards you fucked with for the last month. Believe it or not, boy, there’s a small but close-knit community out there of people into the same shit as me. And don’t think I don’t do at least SOME background research on the people I attempt to try this stuff with,” said Jasper. “And I’ll tell you something Frank, I can read people. Let’s look at this from a practical side. I figure we can all have fun and get off. I’ve already explained how I will. I could tell you wanted a quiet evening with just you and the little lady. So there you go, I won’t be interfering in anything. At least not physically. Jenny wants something new and adventurous in the bedroom, which this will damn sure provide.”
Jasper looked around the room confidently, as though he had just thrown all the cards on the table for everyone to see.
“What do you say?” he asked.
Surprisingly to the both of them, neither reacted in anger. Frank had a one hundred yard stare, while Jenny just sort of looked at the floor, deep in thought. After close to two minutes, which seemed to border on forever, Jenny looked over at Frank, and got a slight twinkle in her eye.
“Let’s do this. I’m down,” she said assuredly.
“Game’s riding on you, Frank,” Jasper said. “J said she’s down with it, it’s all or nothing.”
“I’m gonna need a lot to drink,” he said.
“YES!” Jasper and Jenny both exclaimed at once.
“Jenny, I’ll go pour Frank some drinks. I think I’m gonna have a few myself, if you don’t mind. Why don’t you be a doll and throw on a CD. You know, something to get us nice and warmed up,” Jasper said.
“Coming right up,” she said with a wink.

The mix CD just stopped after playing for a little over 70 minutes. Frank had pounded over 12 beers by this time and was having a hard time seeing straight. Jenny had, by this time, put her white lace teddy back on, and was grinding to the music in the living room.
“Honey, let’s get this party started, what do you say?” yelled Jenny, into the kitchen.
Frank staggered into the room carrying a half empty Coors can. “Let’s do this shit,” he said.
Jasper had been in the corner of the room, setting up his Casio keyboard onto it’s stand, and after making a short trip out to the trunk of his car to grab a small amplifier, had all the technical aspects ready to go.

Frank walked up to Jenny and slapped her on the ass. She let out a quick gasp and smiled. She turned around for a brief second, while he grabbed her by the back of her head, the two of them locking lips, and sucking each other’s face. Jasper hit the on switch on his synthesizer. He struck a few notes on the electric piano setting, as if to get warmed up. The volume was on its highest setting, and the chords startled the two of them.
Frank cocked Jenny’s head to the side and began to kiss her neck. She moaned lightly in pleasure. Jasper had been messing around with the keyboard and experimenting with several different setting before settling on one which sounded like a church organ. The mood in the room was eerie and perverse. Candles were lit and had been placed in a circular pattern on the center coffee table. The front windows were shut, however the wind was howling through the open back window, the curtain nearly dancing in the wind it seemed. He struck several notes, which sounded not unlike the theme from “A Clockwork Orange.” It wasn’t the actual song, just a musical setting which sounded somewhat similar.