Two New Voicemails

Frank awakens to Jenny standing at the foot of the bed, smiling.
“Baby, I’ve got a surprise for you, come take a look,” she says motioning towards her laptop computer. “What do you think?”
Frank stares at the screen for a minute, looking at the picture of a woman probably in her 20’s, with dark brown hair, which reaches mid back length, hazel green eyes, and a large set of teeth. She was looking over her shoulder into the camera, intentionally showing her right breast outline but not her nipple.
“Total tease,” he thought. He read the ad silently. “SWF, 22, seeking adventurous couple for casual encounters. NSA, D/D ok, no drama or bullshit, just the night of all of our lives.”
“I think this is the one,” Jenny said. Frank didn’t even need an explanation; he knew exactly what she meant.
After a moment of silence, she looks at him with her mouth wide open, as if stunned, and says, “Well Jesus Christ, what’s with the uncertainty? You know if I didn’t know any better I’d say you aren’t sure or something. Frank, I just wanted to give you a little surprise. You and I both know our sex life isn’t exactly adventurous. Hell, the most action we see is one or two fucks a week, after you’re good and liquored up I might add. I just figured that with you being out of jail and all this could be a fresh start for us, and what better way to kick it off than something we’ve both always wanted to try?” Frank looked longingly in her eyes. He may be a downright insensitive prick, but he knows when he’s crossed the line when it comes to his girl. It was what he had always wanted; it was just that after being in jail, she was all he could think about. When he was in lockdown, counting the days to his release, what he had in mind after getting home was something more romantic, or just downright kinky, but between the two of them…not finding a stranger online.
“So should I send a reply?” she said, before he could even get a word out.
“Yeah,” he said with a smile, “let’s do this shit!”

The two of them were sitting together in the living room with the TV going, but with the volume so low it wasn’t even audible. Frank was wearing a pair of denim shorts, swigging a Coors Light silver bullet, listening to a burned CD of various Lords of Acid songs on the stereo. Jenny was wearing a white lace teddy with no bra and cherry red thong underneath, halfway reading “Mein Kampf”, halfway just lost in thought, staring into space. The silence between them was nearly deafening. It was hard to tell who was more anxious or nervous of the two, but only two things were for sure: their visitor had received their address, and the anticipated time of arrival was going to be within the hour.
“Babe, you still haven’t told me something. How’d you fair in the joint?” asked Jenny.
“It wasn’t so bad. Everyday is better than the next,” he said with a smile. “Me and the guys from cell block would pass the time by playing cards. My cellmate’s name was Anderson; he was a decent enough guy. I know you and I weren’t together back then, but I told you before I did a two-year stint up in Kennedy for assault. It’s nothing like that, where the entire population sticks to there own color and you’ve always gotta watch your back. Local lockup is a lot more laid back than that. I got put in the hole once or twice, but here all the guys know me, so I don’t have to prove myself. I’ve always been a headache for the guards and they hate my ass for it, but it’s what can I say? I get bored in there. And with all those cigarettes you mailed me, I never had to worry about jack shit. Those things are like money in there.” She nods, satisfied with his answer. Frank looks at his watch. “Any minute now,” he said. Five minutes later the doorbell rang.
They both looked at each other and knew that this was it. Literally and figuratively, they had taken the first step, now it was time to let fate walk through the front door. When Frank looked through the peephole, he was disappointed to say the least. Rather than a gorgeous Irish looking girl in her 20s, it was a man in his late 30’s, bent over and gasping for air.
“Can I help you?” Frank said.
“Please, let me in, I’m diabetic, you got anything sweet to eat? Or any orange juice to drink?” the man said.
“Um, yeah, just a minute…come in and sit down,” replied Frank.
“Are you insane? What the fuck are you thinking?” Jenny asked.
“Sweetie, quit being a bitch. This is a man having a medical emergency,” yelled Frank. “If you want this fellow to die or go into shock, you turn him away.”
“Motherfucker!” exclaimed Jenny as she sprinted into the bedroom to put on something more conservative.

Frank undid the latch and let the man in, carrying a suitcase behind him. “Here, have a seat, I’ll get you something to eat,” Frank said as he hurriedly paced into the kitchen. The man sat in the main living room recliner sweating profusely, as Frank emerged with a plate with fudge brownies and a glass or orange juice. The stranger grabbed for them at once, as color returned to his face.
“I cant thank you enough for this,” said the man.
“It’s not a problem at all. What’s your name, stranger?” asked Frank.
“Name’s Jasper. Jasper Colombia. Just like the country,” he said.
“I see,” said Frank, feeling satisfied. “What brings you to these parts, Mr. Colombia?”
“Nah man, just Jasper. I don’t really stay in one place for too long. What’d you say your name was, my man?”
“Oh, I’m Frank. Frank Davis. This is me and my woman’s house. We were just expecting some company, but it’s no problem at all to help a guy out.”
“Where’s your little lady at?”
No sooner than he had said that, Jenny emerged from the bedroom wearing a black spaghetti strap shirt and some cutoff khaki shorts. She had a concerned look on her face.
“Frank, I’m sorry for reacting that way. Mr., are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, ma’am, I’m fine. How do you do,” he said standing up. “I’m Jasper. Jasper Colombia. Me and your hubby were just making small talk.”
“Oh, he ain’t my husband, we’ve just share a house is all,” she said.
“I see,” Jasper said intrigued. “How long the two of you been together?”
“Um, about two and a half years,” said Frank. “I guess you could say it’s pretty serious.”
“Hey, be easy buddy,” Jasper interrupted. “It’s really humid outside, and my medical condition isn’t exactly helping matters. You care if I take my shirt off? That cool breeze blowing from the ceiling fan is enough to turn me on.”
“Um yeah, sure,” said Jenny, looking at Frank uneasily. Jasper shed his shirt, maintaining a grin on his face, which made the two of them uneasy somehow, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on it. He had an average build, one the looked like he maybe once had substantial muscle mass, but it had withered away over the years.
“I see you were in the Marines,” said Frank, looking at the Eagle Globe and Anchor tattoo in the center of his chest.
“Observant, ain’t ya? I did about 3 yrs, give or take a few months. I was never much for someone telling me what to do. I was a Sgt, but had been demoted twice down to Lance Corporal for various bullshit infractions. By the time OEF rolled around, I did a tour of Afghanistan but snapped my femur midway through. No bullshit on that one. Just out running one day on the base, and next thing I know I’m on the ground doubled over in pain. They said I probably had a small stress fracture that just blew out. Slit my femoral artery on the way down and they had to operate within 2 hours or they said I probably would have bled to death internally. Stuck a steel rod and about 7 or 8 pins in the bone and kept my ass doped up in a hospital bed for the rest of the tour, which was only about a month. After that, they had no reason to keep me around, so the high ups agreed to be cool about it and give me a general medical discharge rather than dishonorable. I get a pretty penny worth of disability pay, and the VA keeps me nice and doped up on all the codeine pills a boy could want.”
“Is that a fact?” said Jenny, becoming more interested in him by the second. “You don’t by chance have any that I could, um, acquire do you? I mean, my script is out and doesn’t get refilled until Monday.”
“Darlin’, you’re lying through your teeth,” said Jasper. “But if you fancy a little body buzz, I see no reason we can’t get high. What about you, my man? You wanna do some pills?”
“No thanks, but I appreciate the offer,” said Frank. “Never cared for the shit. I’m getting plastered tonight on beer.”