True Friendship 5

"I'm glad you're being cooperative."
Whatever.
"Me too."
The doctor laughed and patted me on the shoulder. I looked down at my wrist; the gauze pad was soaked in blood. The nurse smiled at me as she walked by, her hand brushing along my arm. I miss a touch like that Karyn no, never mind, too much to risk. 
"Well Laura, this obviously needs to be changed. The doctor had already sealed it up with a couple of stitches and looks like you'll be fine."
"Thank you."
I said as she wrapped another gauze pad on my wrist and tightly taped it up. She nodded and smiled at me again that smile reminded me so much of Karyn's. 
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure thing as long as it's reasonable."
I laughed to be polite, but I found myself giggling at it out of humor anyway.
"What is it?"
"Well could you call this number and ask for Karyn? I want to "
Then there was a knock at the door, the nurse walked over and opened it and there stood Karyn, breathlessly panting for air.

"Hey Laura. I'm sorry I couldn't get here earlier."
She walked over and the nurse left us to ourselves. 
"It's okay. Why are you "
"I ran all over the hospital looking for you. I was so worried when I first heard from your mom about how you cut your wrist and you passed out five times while you were bleeding to almost your death. The doctor outside said you might have died if it wasn't for your mother who rushed you over to the hospital."
Great so my mother saved me from the peace that I would have gotten. Great 
"Well I regret doing it. It hurt for awhile but it was painless after I slipped into my dreams dreams that seemed to go on forever."
But I like this too. Karyn put her hand on my right arm and I shivered at the warmth. It was a good feeling though how I missed it. She rubbed my arm up and down slowly and softly just for comfort I liked it. I should really consider us again. This risk should be worthwhile Karyn's worth it. She's worth it.

=====
At the institution 

It was day five, last day before I would finally be released. Karyn was visiting me again.
"Hey Laura. How are you today?"
"Good and you?"
"I'm good now. Now that I'm with you I can't stand this wait."
"Me neither the food here is gross."
We laughed, she put her hand on my arm again and I could only melt at the touch. I think she sensed and felt it too.
"I missed you and still do."
Karyn said without a smile on her face now.
"Yeah well "
Um what am I supposed to say now? I don't want to rush things obviously I'm still not ready I guess.
"Good. I guess I miss having our best friend time together too."

Karyn was disappointed, I could tell, she just didn't show it she was getting better at hiding her feelings. Perhaps she was doing it for me for instance, the times where she might be scared again to make contact with me, she could hide that and take a risk. Answer me right and I'll give it a shot Karyn don't let me down.
"Would you take a risk for me? Like if you were me honestly now."
I can tell if you're lying so don't even think about it she didn't lie.
"Not right away. I understand your position and your concern. But don't worry I'm back to my old self again."
Thinking should I?
"Well I think I'm almost ready."
Good answer? Yeah. Definitely.
"Really?"
"Not yet. Almost."
"When?"
"It could be a year, it could be five years but don't worry Karyn almost."

=====
Back at Laura's home 

"You know, I'm tired and I need sleep, after all, my wrist is still healing!"
"I don't think so. Laura, why?"
Because you're ruining my life 
"What do you think? I mean look at my life now dad. Mom?"
My mother looked at me and said nothing, leaving the lecturing to my father.
"What's wrong with your life? As far as I can see, you're 17, beautiful, getting impressive grades, and successful in most everything you do the only flaw I see is that you're a lesbian!"
Then he sat there and thought about what he had just said,
"Oh honey I'm sorry. I understand now the pressure and hatred for being a lesbian made you do what you did."
Okay if you want to go ahead and believe that sure 
"Yeah yeah I think that was what drove me into my insanity."
Karyn was looking at me in disbelief and she looked rather annoyed with the way I was acting. 
"Can Karyn spend the night? I'd feel less lonely that way."

I saw Karyn's eyes widen with excitement too bad I wasn't planning on doing anything or getting back together with her yet. I'm not ready I just wanted a friend and she's making it difficult.
"Okay. You girls don't have too much fun now got school tomorrow."
I nodded and made my way to the stairs,
"Karyn, may I have a word with you?"
My father said out of nowhere, Karyn hesitantly stood and nodded at him,
"Yes?"
Then he whispered something to her well at least he thought he was whispering because I could hear it nice and clearly.
"You're not a lesbian too are you?"
"What? That's absurd, how dare you accuse me of something like that? Why I'd "
Karyn's little act probably scared my dad so he nodded vigorously and said 'okay' with a wave of his hand of her dismissal.
"I'm sorry."
He said and rushed into the kitchen to get away from the awkwardness.
Tough on the outside but deep down, he's such a coward.

"I didn't mislead you did I down there with my dad I mean."
"Mislead? You mean "
"I just wanted a friend to stay over and talk to about my problems."
"Oh I see."
Karyn didn't show her disappointment seeing as how she tried to cover it up with a smile and a happy attitude. I saw right through her.
"You don't have to pretend."
"Pretend what? I'm not okay who am I kidding? Laura why?"
Oh god why'd I have to tell her not to pretend?
"Why what?"
"Why don't you trust me?"
"I do."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Don't you think you're rushing things? Shouldn't you give me time?"
"I've given you plenty of time, Laura."
"You can't put it that way."
"And why not?"
"What about you? What about all those months I waited for you to recover? What about the times that I've laid in bed with Jenna only to be thinking about you, about us? All those times I could've been enjoying my time with Jenna well back when I didn't know she was such a bitch. But that's besides the point, the point is, you need to return the favor or else nothing will happen."
"What?"
"I spent no perhaps wasted most of my time waiting for you to heal and get better even if you have gotten better you still do weird things that even I don't understand. How can I trust someone who won't trust me?"
"I trust you Laura why would you think otherwise?"
"Because I know I was acting odd earlier today but when I tried to kiss you, you pulled away. That meant a lot in bad ways."
"I was taken by surprise. Wouldn't you have backed away if I did that?"
"I would have only because I didn't want you to...otherwise no. Maybe I would've been surprised but I wouldn't have reacted in the way you did."
"Well I "

Okay you lose.
"Just give me time. I need to think about it."
I got ready to stand up and leave my own room.
"What is there to think about?"
"You know, you're making this harder than it has to be. If only you'd listen to me and trust me."
"I do listen and trust you."
Sure of course you do. Is that why you can't trust me to spend some time alone for once?
"Then stop trying to make my decisions for me."
All I heard was silence. Karyn was almost in tears but it wasn't my fault that she had to be so stubborn. She needs to learn to deal with my problems, and me myself. Most of all she needs to give me my space and time .she needs some time off too. 
"I'm tired night."