True Friendship 4

The next day, I was driven over by the paid driver to Karyn’s house. My parents had called in a limo, hoping to bribe me into changing my ways. I had called Karyn the night before, as a friend of course, and asked her to come with me. The driver was more than a driver though, he was the driver, the supervisor, and the guardian of me and Karyn while I’m away from my parents. He was in his mid-thirties, tall, buff, and intimidating. Karyn sat beside me in the back of the limo, we were quiet for awhile.
“So how’s…Jenna?”
I didn’t reply, I really didn’t want to talk about Jenna at all.
“I…I’m sorry if I made you mad. I don’t want you mad at me for doing what I did.”
“I’m not mad.”
I said and was silent for another long moment. Karyn fidgeted constantly and couldn’t stay still without doing something. 
“Psychiatrist huh? Why…am I here?”
Karyn broke the silence, I miss her so much, I really do.
“For comfort. I needed a friend.”
“Oh…”
I think Karyn was expecting to be more than just a friend again. I was thinking about this over and over, but I would sound so desperate if I asked for her back. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jenna, however, about her ways. She hid it so well, she was heartless, careless, and selfish. I can’t believe I didn’t see that. I wanted to tell Karyn about all of that, but I couldn’t…she still thinks I’m sad over Jenna and her leaving. The driver had driven us to a small house big enough for two people. 
“Where are we?”
I said as I opened the door and closed it after Karyn got out,
“Your parent’s vacation house.”
“So this is where they go while I’m visiting my aunts and uncles for summer vacation…”
“Yep.”
The tall man replied and took our luggage for us. 
“It’s small for three people…”
Karyn said,
“Well it’s for two.”
The man said and unlocked the door and opened it for us.
“I’ll be around…just call when you need me, but please don’t call me after midnight girls or I’ll have to turn off my cellphone and cut you off.”
He went to his car and drove off, then my cellphone rang, it was our driver.
“I’ll be here at nine tomorrow morning to pick you two up for the appointment with your psychiatrist.”
Then he hung up.
“My parents are being so stupid. No matter how long they keep me here without letting me back home to school, I’ll never get fixed.”
I complained and began unpacking in one of the bedrooms, Karyn took the other. 

The next morning the driver came at nine o’ clock sharp, not a minute early, not a minute late. Wow…this guy was truly dedicated to his work for my stupid parents. He drove us for about half an hour before we made it to the psychiatrist’s office then he left again. I have no idea what he would be doing while we were waiting. The secretary told us we could head on in to the office now, so we did. It was the typical room that you’d expect, you know, with the huge piece of furniture that you lie down on with a psychiatrist with the clipboard sitting in a chair with all those certificates and acknowledgements hung all over the walls. The desk was practically useless except for storing papers and then there was the humongous window where you could see all the other ridiculously large buildings from.
“Hi girls. Just come on in.”
We came in and seated ourselves,
“You girls can lie down if you want.”
We shook our heads,
“I’m good…sitting.”
I said, Karyn nodded in agreement.
“Okay…names please?”
The psychiatrist was a female, I was glad of that, I wouldn’t have wanted to speak so openly to a male either. I sensed that Karyn felt just as relieved as I did.
“Laura.”
“Karyn.”
“I’m Jennifer Kim. You can call me Jennifer, Jenny, Jen…you get the idea.”
I was feeling tensed, uncomfortable…probably more of because Karyn was with me other than the shrink. After a moment of scribbling down our names on separate sheets of paper, she smiled at us,
“Age?”
“Sixteen.”
I said,
“Sixteen.”
I looked at Karyn in confusion…wasn’t she fifteen? Oh no…I forgot all about her birthday today. I can’t believe she’s at a shrink’s office with me on her birthday. I panicked but then leaned over to whisper something in Karyn’s ear,
“Sweetie I’m so sorry! Happy birthday.”
Karyn smiled, glad to hear me say that, and shook her head.
“It’s okay. Thanks.”
The shrink didn’t hear us and was scribbling away,
“Okay, let’s start with your problems. I assume you two have the same problem?”
I looked at Karyn, Karyn gave me a look that told me to do the talking.
“Well…my parents sent us…well just me here but I wanted to bring my best friend Karyn with me. I have more things to talk about than just dealing with my parent’s denial and stubborness.”
The shrink got it right away,
“Oh…I see. Your parents aren’t accepting of your sexuality?”
“No.”
She looked at Karyn,
“And you?”
Karyn shrugged,
“My parents don’t know yet.”
The psychiatrist nodded and “mmhmmed” us all the way through. I spilled to her about the problems with my family and the problems that Jenna and I had. Karyn talked about how she thinks her parents will react. We never cried, but I did when the shrink asked if Karyn and I were ever anything other than best friends. Karyn didn’t know what to do, she just patted me on the back.
“So I take it you two were once an item.” 
I nodded, sniffling and Karyn still was patting my back for comfort. I couldn’t stop crying, I guess I really do miss her. I was sobbing up to the point that I could barely breath, Karyn looked really concerned when I finally looked up at her. She pulled me in and held me in her arms, I didn’t push her away like I usually would have. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her tight, I didn’t want to let go. 
“I…I don’t think I’m over you.”
I managed to say in between sobs, Karyn was gently rubbing my arms in her embrace as she just sat there and comforted me without words. The shrink was once again scribbling at her clipboard and biting the tip of her pen. When she was finally done writing and I was finally done crying, she spoke.
“Okay girls, time’s up but we’ll have another session tomorrow at the same time. This is a tough situation…but I think I’ll figure it out in a few days as we discuss.”
Karyn stood and helped me up,
“How many more times do we have to come?”
Karyn said as she led me out the door, I was blinded by tears.
“I’m not sure. But a week is the minimum.”
Karyn nodded and nearly walked me into the wall, she redirected me and made sure I didn’t run into anything else. The driver picked us up, I had recovered completely by the time he got here so I wasn’t embarrassed for crying. When the driver brought us back to the house, he stayed for a cup of tea.
“Well girls…how did the first session go?”
I didn’t want to talk about it but someone had to answer him.
“It was good.”
Karyn nodded and hoped that he wouldn’t ask anymore questions,
“Okay. Well…if you say so. I’ll be back in town with your parents but if you need me, call. I’ll be here in…ha uh probably in thirty minutes from the time you go.”
“Thanks…that’s so comforting.”
I mumbled and waved him good-bye. When he finally left, Karyn sat down next to me in the living room. Her hands in her lap and her hair falling over her face. She was still beautiful, always has been, always will be. 
“Laura…I want you to know…”
I nearly drowned myself in tears again just by hearing Karyn’s voice, her body so close to mine, we’re all alone. 
“that I loved you…”
Oh no…past tense of love, I was on the verge of crying and I don’t know whether it’s because I think she’s going to tell me bad news or that I’m completely confused and don’t know what I want.
“I cherished you…”
I didn’t know what to think, so confused…so hurt. 
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
I blurted out with tears building up in my eyes, Karyn could see that and she hugged me tight.
“I…”
“Shh…”
Karyn kissed me on the cheek,
“You didn’t let me finish…”
She said held me tighter, 
“I hoped I would get better…”
I sniffled, a single tear ran down my cheek and fell upon her shoulder.
“and I did. I’ll always love you. I’ll always cherish you.”
I sighed, relieved, so much tension had lifted and I was happy. She accepted me once again, she forgave me, she always had, she always will. She’ll never give up on us. I just can’t believe I did. Even if it were for just a single moment in our lives…I still lost hope and faith. I’m ashamed.

The next day, Karyn and I were awakened with loud knocking on the door. It was the driver who once again came at nine o’clock. I met Karyn at the door and sighed,
“Here we go again.”
We were greeted by the shrink with a happy smile on her face. She led us into her office and seated herself as she waited for us to get settled in. 
“I’ve decided, Laura, that your parent problem should be solved with…well a simple solution. If they’re not accepting you for who you are and are actually forcing you to come to see me to be um… ‘fixed’ then you should move out. Karyn…if you truly think your parents will not accept your sexuality, then wait until you are old enough to live out on your own. Now…today’s problem I will assume is about you two?”
I nodded slowly. 
“Okay then. First, let’s discuss what happened.”
I knew Karyn would fire up the water works if we get onto the subject of her terrible tragedy so I brought up all my courage and took her hand in mine. I squeezed her hand gently like I always did and she looked me in my eyes. I nodded and smiled at her, she squeezed my hand back and took a big breath and exhaled.
“Laura and I…were together. We loved each other like crazy, nothing could come between us, or as I thought. It was spring break, about a couple, maybe three months agao when we left to the beach…”
Karyn finally got to the part after the dinner when she began sniffling and sobbing, I took over for her.
“Jenna…the girl…was shoved out of the room which was then locked and barricaded by the cousin and brother. Drew and Jon. They tried to hold me but I defended myself and even tried to free my innocent baby girl…”
I finished it. I finished the story and this time, Karyn was the one who was uncontrollably crying and hugging me around the waist. 
“I…see. I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
Jennifer said, then she started her writing again.
“Karyn…I feel so bad.”
“Don’t. I understand…why you did what…you did.”
Karyn was still sobbing and gasping for breath,
“I regret it completely.”
“Don’t. I wouldn’t have recovered if you didn’t. Right?”
I thought about this, if I hadn’t been with Jenna, Karyn would have never been jealous. Karyn would have never recovered from that fear of physical contact. She would have never been this close to me ever again. She’s so close to me…she’s touching me…holding me. She’s…with me.

Sitting in my temporary bedroom, I thought about things. I thought about Karyn. I didn’t know what Karyn was doing at this moment, but I was deep in thought thinking about us. I want to be with her, I want to be hers…I want her to be mine. I don’t know what’s holding me back from accepting it all again. It’s not Jenna…Jenna betrayed me. She used me. What am I going to do? I have got to find out what’s holding me back from getting back together with the only girl that I’ve truly loved. Jennifer will figure it out…she’ll know…I’ll just have to wait another day for it, maybe another week, but whatever the conclusion…I’ll find out why I can’t seem to find a way to make myself feel secure and ask my love out on another first date.

* I hope this one was good. This took forever and of course there’s a number five coming up but if I rate badly on this one…well let’s just say give me a good rating and I’ll continue. This was lengthy and definitely no sex…but in number five…you won't be disappointed. For those of you who want Laura and Karyn back together...um...I'm working on that but they may or may not get back together. *