True Friendship 3

I saw the belt threw a small slit in the closet so pulled the end threw, the belt had detached from the pants. When the buckle wouldn’t come through, I pulled the belt straight up the slit and as hard and fast as I could. It snapped the lock into two, I kicked the door open….
I…I was too late. Karyn was lifeless, limp, crying…Drew was fucking the life out of her. I rushed over and shoved him off, he let me. He had already come hard into my poor baby and I could see his white semen leacking out of her. I kicked him hard in the crotch again, I guess that was the only revengeful attack I could find. Drew started crying and holding his crotch, he was moaning in agony now. I ran over to the bed and untied my Karyn, my love. She was still limp and lifeless, she was awake though, her eyes filled with tears. I laid down next to her and held her. She was just there, not moving, not enjoying my embrace. Of course not. She was hurt, damaged, scarred for life. Karyn told me that she never wanted to be penatrated by a cock, ever, and now, I just observed the most painful thing in my entire life. I just lied there, holding my girl, wishing I could do something for her. She’s only fifteen…and I didn’t even realize that she could be pregnant until the police came storming in. Kicking the door down. They came and put the crying Drew in cuffs, they threw a towel around him and dragged him out, he was still holding his crotch. I thought and thought, nothing will ever be the same again. Karyn will be traumatized for life, she’ll fear men forever, and she’ll never be the same, happy, energetic girl that I fell in love with. The police put a towel around Karyn’s naked body and discarded all her torn clothes, they asked me if I wanted to take our stuff with me and I did. I wanted to go home now. This isn’t the way the first day of spring break should have turned out. 

The police let me take my car home and they drove Karyn back. It was a long ride and I didn’t like the idea of being alone. I just dealt with it anyway. Until Jenna came along that is.
“Hey. I’m sorry I could do anything. The manager wouldn’t believe me and I tried calling the police but I kept getting the manager mad. I tried to warn you…”
I nodded and just simply let Jenna seat herself in my car. 
“Mind if I go with you? And maybe…live with you? Because I’m officially disowning my family. They’re all perverted like that.”
I didn’t care what she said or wanted, I just let her come along. I drove along calmly in silence, hoping Jenna wouldn’t break it. I had a lot of things to think about. 
“Laura…I’m very sorry.”

“I know you are.”
I said quietly,
“I know Karyn won’t be the same ever again. None of the girls that my brother and cousin raped ever were. But they became new people and sometimes were better…even though they do go straight sometimes too. Even though I think that’d be bad considering the fact that it was a male who…okay I’ll stop.”
I thanked her and continued driving. I felt so vulnerable, so tired, so scared that Karyn won’t ever be the same ever again. I didn’t want a new Karyn, I didn’t want to get acquainted with a new Karyn…I didn’t want a straight Karyn. I pulled over to the nearest deserted area, the roads now were deserted as well. It was well past two in the morning. 
“Why are you stopping? You’re not gonna throw me out are you?”
Jenna panicked, I shook my head.
“Have any victims of rape ever recovered completely and go back to normal?”
“I don’t think so…not completely. They’re never the same person because there’s this memory engraved into their brain and they’re just scarred for life.”
I looked Jenna deep in the eyes, tears came involuntarily,
“I’m so sorry. I…I’ve been through it once and I…to tell the truth I’m a completely different person. I can’t act the way I used to, I don’t feel like it and I don’t care anymore.”

Jenna dressed casually, she had a tight pair of low rise jeans on and a tight, white, tank top on. She told me that she used to be all preppy and ditzy, now she’s careless for that and careless all by itself. She didn’t care what others think anymore, she used to, but now she doesn’t. Karyn didn’t…I wonder if Karyn will become the opposite of her normal self? I wonder if she’ll become goth or punk? My worst fear, if she’ll all of a sudden change personalities and go straight or have a different interest in what her “type” is.
I started driving again, Jenna was quiet throughout the rest of the ride. When I got home, I didn’t do anything but sleep, Jenna slept in my sister’s room.

===
one year later…

I had endure the pain for the past year and Jenna was helping me through it all along. Karyn was placed in a mental hospital since she had gone quiet and refused to communicate to the rest of the world…even me. I never gave up on Karyn though, and Jenna respected that, even though I could see the lust and love in her eyes. I know she was in love with me, I know she was for sure. She kept her distance though, she stayed a good friend and honest and respecting. I was glad for that. I was excited this day, Karyn would be released. I haven’t seen her for a whole year and I missed her company at school. Jenna enrolled for our school right when she moved in with me, of course my parents approved since I was always complaining that my big sister is way older than me and that Jenna could…well not replace her but take her place for the time being that my sister’s gone. I love my sister very much, as a sister, but she’s gone off for a six year college and never really returns home since she’s so far away. Jenna was really like a sister to me, I mean, sometimes I felt lust for her, but I wanted to remain honest and trustworthy for Karyn. I loved Karyn and I always will, no matter what. 

I raced for Karyn’s house with Jenna in the car with me. When I finally reached her house, her parents were sitting in the living room with her. Karyn was no smiling, she was just sitting and talking with her parents. 
“Hi Laura.”
She said, trying to make herself sound enthusiastic,
“I was just telling my parents what happened and that I’m…a lesbian.”
Karyn choked a sob but her parents were understanding and caring.
“Jenna’s here?”
Karyn said in between sobs, it looked as if Karyn hadn’t changed to me.
“Have you been…”
“Of course not.”
“She hasn’t Karyn, she been completely loyal to you.”
Karyn nodded and stopped her crying. 
“Mom, dad, I’m gonna go out with Laura okay?”
Her parents nodded and said something to me,
“We’re trying to make this as easy and normal for her. I know you’ll go on as if nothing will happen, the doctors say it’s best to do that.”
I nodded and Jenna had led Karyn into the car. Jenna sat in the back, allowing Karyn to be in the passenger seat.
“So, did you miss me?”
Karyn was slightly more enthusiastic now, I sensed something different but I didn’t know what it was…yet at least. Jenna did too, even though she barely even knows Karyn. 
“Where are we going?”
I asked, driving aimlessly around, Jenna shrugged and Karyn didn’t know. I just kept driving.
“So Karyn…how have you been?”
Jenna knew we had a lot of catching up to do so she put on her CD player and listened to her own music and doing her own thing. I decided to stop at the café and start catching up from there. I was hoping that nothing major would change in Karyn.

 I don’t know what to tell Laura…ever since that day, that horrible day, I don’t feel the same about her anymore. The psych ward helped my recover from shock but that recovery took something away from me and I hurt. I don’t feel lust anymore, not even to the one I love just as much, if not more than my parents. I wanted to tell her that I don’t feel the same love anymore, I wanted to tell her that no matter what I do…I don’t think I’ll ever have that lust and fire I used to have for her everyday. I wish I could but I’m too afraid that she’ll be hurt. Too afraid.

We sat down in a booth at the café, Karyn across from me and Jenna beside me. Karyn seemed nervous about something and Jenna was still minding her own business. I’m so glad that Jenna is so understanding. Ever since she came out that day, I’ve helped her come out even more. She’s happier than ever and can beat the living daylight out of anyone who makes fun of her. She would definitely be the more dominant one if she were in a relationship with me, I said if. She’s a femme and very feminine but she likes to take control, be at ease but have all the power. This year while Karyn was gone, with Jenna living under my roof and all, I’ve gotten to know her really well. I think I’m closer to her than I am with Karyn…but just because Jenna lives under the same house as I do and I do see her almost every hour of the day. Since I was being loyal to Karyn this past year, Jenna never made a move on me, but she never made an attempt to pick up another girl when I brought her out with me. She was older than me and I thought she might have known more than me, I could be wrong. Jenna was sixteen and a half, now seventeen, she’s about half a year older than me but we’re in the same grade. Karyn on the other hand was a couple months younger than me. 
“Laura…I’m so glad you’ve waited for me.”

Karyn began, she asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. I didn’t want anything, maybe some water, and Jenna ordered a whole freaking meal. I sat there, looking into the same brown, entrancing eyes of Karyn’s. I knew she was back, I wanted to believe she was back for good.
“They really helped me out Laura. We’ll be back to normal in a couple of days.”
I was really happy, I smiled happily, I gleemed at her happily, I attempted to touch her hand for comfort. She pulled away though, I wasn’t hurt, I was taken by surprise. Karyn looked away,
“I um…okay this is hard.”
“You said everything can be back to normal. I’m not rushing you hun.”
I said hastly, knowing she might still need time to recover. Jenna was eating away at her muffin and she just quaffed down her whole cup of cappuccino. Karyn nodded and said she was glad I understood, then excused herself to the lady’s room. Jenna saw this and took off her earphones,
“So? How are you guys?”
I sighed,
“She’s still recovering. I don’t think she’s comfortable around me anymore.”
“Yeah…I saw that little thingy, she pulled away way too fast.”
Jenna began and gave me a sympathetic look,
“Oh Jenna don’t be ridiculous, I’m not hurt.”
It’s funny how I knew what Jenna’s facial expressions meant, it was good in a way too.
“Well…if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here, well, I mean if Karyn’s not up to it.”
I thanked her and Karyn came back all freshened up. 

We left the café shortly, nothing really happened with me and Karyn hadn’t done much at the mental hospital either. Just recovery was all she talked about when I asked her about anything new. We were at my house now and in Jenna’s new room, my sister had come home last week and left yesterday. She didn’t mind that Jenna had her room, she let Jenna keep most everything that was already in the room since she had no need for them anymore. My sister, Kelly, had slept in the spare room. She was glad actually since she didn’t want to feel so much at home and then mourn over the fact that she has to go back to those tiny dorm rooms again. I finally told her that I was a lesbian and she asked me if mom and dad knew. Of course I said no. I told her I missed her so much and likewise, she left though and that week flew by so quickly. Anyway, Jenna was minding her own business in her room as Karyn and I talked some more. I asked for Jenna to be present but not listen in, I felt more comfortable with Jenna near me now. I wonder if her feelings for me developed even more. I shook that thought off, no, Karyn and I are forever. It’s only Karyn, no one else but Karyn. We bonded pretty well, we were just like before, almost, except for the lack of any kind of physical contact.