I Kissed a Girl

It was 5:00 pm. Traffic was peaking as the nine-to-fivers went home. Jodie walked out of office, earphones on, and to the nearest hot dog stand. She was just about to light up a cigarette, when suddenly she felt a tap on the shoulder, and swung round quickly. It was Karen. What did she want now?

"Do you always wear those earphones?" she was yelling. "I've been calling out your name for at least a minute."

Jodie removed the earphones. "I don't normally meet clients after work hours," she snapped.

"Suit yourself," said Karen, giving up any hope of a conversation, and starting to walk away. Jodie realized she'd gone too far.

"Wait!" she called after her. Karen stopped to face her. "Okay, okay, I've been a little out of line. We got off on the wrong foot. Let me buy you a hot dog. Or hang on, I got a better idea. Let's go down to that little cafe, it's quite close. It's better than yelling over the traffic. That is, if you're free right now?"

Karen considered this. She'd just wanted to say 'hello'; she didn't plan on having a meal with Jodie. "Yeah, I'm free," she said finally.

"Okay, great." Once they reached the cafe and sat down at a table for two, Jodie started, "Okay, shoot. What is it that you wanted to talk to me about? Hey, maybe I should show you a few of the sketches I made for the user interface. They're right here..." She started shuffling through her briefcase.

"Hold it," Karen cut in. "God, you don't let anyone get in a word edgewise, do you?"

"What?"

"I don't have any business to discuss," she admitted. "Back at the hot dog stand, I just wanted to say 'hi'. You know, to be *polite*."

"Are you always this condescending?" asked Jodie.

"Yes. Are you always this forthcoming?" Karen was beginning to smile. So was Jodie. This was getting really silly.

"Well, since we're here, we may as well get to know each other," said Jodie. "Where are you from, since you're oh-so-obviously not New York. Geez, with the whole lesson in manners you'd think you were Amish."

"Close. I'm from West Virginia," said Karen. "Originally. I grew up there, in a small town. When I came out, my parents disavowed knowing me, I had a really tough time, and I knew I would move to New York first chance I got. So I did college from NYU, grad school from Columbia, and here I am. I lost my southern drawl in college, though."

"You're lesbian?" asked Jodie, wide-eyed. She wasn't being mean, she was just curious. "How the heck did you manage that in West Virginia?"

"It's a long story," said Karen, sighing.

Jodie sensed that she didn't want to talk about it, so she decided to change the subject. "So you've never slept with a man?"

"Me?" chuckled Karen. "Oh, yeah I did. Back in junior high...he was an all-star football quarterback, golden boy. I was a cheerleader. We went out for a while."

"Did you like him?" asked Jodie.

"Not really," said Karen, laughing at the memory. "He didn't like me much either. We were both just trying to fit in. Besides, on some level I always knew I liked girls. I had crushes on all my female teachers. What about you, are you seeing someone?"

"Me? Uh, no-no-no-no-no," said Jodie. "My last date was with a man who kept playing with his nipples throughout the appetizers. I'm just like, I'd rather not stick around for dessert! After that, I figured, let's put sex on the back burner for a while." Karen laughed. She had this way of throwing her head back when she laughed. Jodie found it adorable.

"Testosterone," she agreed. "They should make bombs out of it."

"I know!" exclaimed Jodie. "Sometimes I wish to GOD I liked women JUST so I didn't have to be the sore thumb girl caught up in the cult of the patriarchy." She paused, and took a drag from her cigarette. "So, are you currently in a relationship?"

"Not right now," said Karen. "I just got out of one a while back. She was unfaithful. It was ugly."

"Oh, sorry," said Jodie, not knowing what else to say.

"You like music?" asked Karen. "I notice the Discman is like some sort of an appendage for you."

"Oh, yeah, that," said Jodie. "Music has saved my life. Punk rock, in particular. I'd go insane without it." She leaned in over the table conspiratorially. "See, I have this theory. If you can't create music, you should let music create you. And that's what I do. Music *makes* me."

"So what are you playing right now?" asked Karen.

"It's an awesome band called Propagandhi," said Jodie. "And the song is 'Homophobes Are Just Pissed Because They Can't Get Laid'."

Karen laughed. "Then I like them already."

"You mean you haven't heard them?" asked Jodie incredulously. "Wait a sec...do you even listen to punk rock?"

"Not really," said Karen.

"You haven't heard queercore then?"

"No, I never bothered."

"WHAT?" Jodie started waving her hands about the way she did whenever she started ranting. "You're GAY and you've never heard queercore? You become an honorary homosexual just by listening to queercore! So you missed legions of great all-lesbian bands like Tribe 8 and Team Dresch and The Butchies."

"I don't really like punk rock."

"WHAT?" Jodie couldn't believe it. "Punk fucking rock is the REASON there's any hope for any kind of change. I don't understand it. The Revolution is right here, and you're MISSING IT! Don't tell me...you're one of those 'played-guitar-at-Sunday-school' types with NO CLUE about music."

"I DID play guitar, by the way," said Karen.

"Let me guess," sneered Jodie. "Christmas carols?"

"At Sunday school." They both started laughing.

"Okay, if you ever come over some time," said Jodie, calming down. "I will make SURE you hear some of my records. GAWD, you don't know what you're missing. Say it with me: POWER-FUCKING-CHORDS!"

"You don't have to be so political."

"EVERYTHING is political," said Jodie emphatically. "You should know that. You're a journalist."

"So you can never be wrong, huh?" said Karen. "You should get an SUV. You know, to look as menacing as possible. Unless you have something political against SUVs, too."

"I do. People who buy SUVs are..."

"...insecure, vain, self-centered and self-absorbed," finished Karen, enjoying this. "You fit the bill."

"I do NOT."

"To a tee."

Jodie sulked. "That's a snap judgment. You know, I'm just always stressed out. I'm not really this rude or impolite. You really ought to come over some time."

"Okay, you're right," agreed Karen, softening up. "Why don't I drop by tomorrow evening? You know, to hear some..." -- she changed her tone to sarcasm -- "...power-fucking-chords."

"That's better," said Jodie. "Sure. Say, seven-ish?"

"Great." Karen paused, looking at her watch. "It's getting late. It was really nice talking to you, but I gotta run." She smiled at her warmly.

"Sure," Jodie smiled back. This had been a genuinely fun evening. Besides, she hadn't had a good female companion in ages, ever since all her friends got engaged or married. "See you tomorrow."

******

Karen got back to her apartment and checked her answering machine. She felt giddy. Her attraction to Jodie was unquestionable. She was smart, funny, sweet and clearly had some original opinions. Besides, the entire time, she'd been literally aching to run her hands over her face, her neck, her arms, her legs, through her hair, the small of her back. Mostly she couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly she would fit into her arms, and how sweet it would be to taste her lips. God, she had a sweet face. Just thinking about what she would do given the chance made her insides go insane. She was already getting goose bumps.

Three messages from Heather broke her out of her trance. "Will you do it with her?" "Have you slept with her yet?" "Are you in bed with her right NOW?" Oh God. In a small town, Heather would have been the town gossip. When she wanted information, she did NOT back down. The phone rang. True to her name, it was Heather. Karen picked it up and said, "Give it a rest, I'm sleeeepy!"

"I want details!" said Heather.

"There are no details!" Karen tossed back.

"What do you mean, no details?" said Heather.

"Exactly what I said. No details."

"So you're really serious about her, huh?"

"Oh, God." Karen gave up. "We went to a cafe, we had a nice conversation. We talked about where I'm from, my coming out, men, dating, music and SUVs. That's it. Okay?"

"So when are you seeing her again?"

"Tomorrow at seven. To hear her music collection."

"So you liiiike her," Heather was sounding more and more evil.

"Look, *she* invited *me*, not vice versa," said Karen.

"Don't get all defensive."

"I'm not."

"Do you like her?"

"She's straight."

"That's not an answer."

"Shut up."

"I think I've made my point."

"Goodbye, Heather." Karen put the phone down, and headed off for her bedroom.