What Was In The Past... Stays In The Past

Matt- Spiked black and purple hair that falls into his bright green eyes, perfect teeth, about 5'9", and 130 pounds. Lip ring on the left side of his lip. Tattoos on his back, neck, chest, arms, and stomach. But not too many.

Sonny- Shoulder length black hair, dark brown eyes, very skinny, stands about 5 feet 3 inches tall. Snake-bite lip rings. No tattoos. 

I snuck up behind him and placed my hands over his eyes. “Guess who?" I whispered in his ear. “Mattie!" I uncovered his eyes and spun him around. “Hey lover" He wrapped his arms around my waist and berried his head in my chest. “Mattie" I gently stroked his back with my fingers. “So happy to see me are you?" I felt him nod. “Guess what?" he asked, looking up at me. So tiny and adorable.

“What?" “I f.u.c.k.i.n.g LOVE YOU" My face lit up. “Really now? I FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO" He stood on his tip toes and brushed his lips against mine. I licked his bottom lip and played with the lovely silver studs attached to them. He opened his mouth slightly, and I slowly slid my tongue in. I tilted my head to the right letting my tongue battle his for dominance, and I won. We pulled away slowly and his eyes seemed to sparkle. “Come with me Matt" I nodded and laced my fingers with his. We were outside, it was nice out, but I guess he'd rather be inside because that’s where we were headed. 

Sonny lived with me. For 3 years actually, it's a long, complicated story but I’ll tell it. 3 years ago when Sonny was 18 (I was 20 at the time, living on my own) so anyway 3 years ago 15 his “father" disowned him. And not only that... but worse, much worse. He told me that was sort of the reason he ' came out' was because of the missing 'feminine-ness' I don't know, maybe he lied. But one day Sonny had his first “crush"... me. And what do you know... I liked him back. We're 5 years apart so yeah, I was in college he was in high school. Seems wrong but it felt so right... I lived about a town or two over, so it wasn't a problem seeing each other. But, the only way we could communicate usually was through the computer, cell phone, and Sonny liked writing notes to me. Well as anyone would do... I wrote back. And this time it was different. I handed it to Sonny but he didn't read it. He put it in his back pocket and just walked away. It hurt me because all it said on the note was: To Sonny- I was too shy to ask you in person but, I wanted to know if you wanted to be my boyfriend- Matt... 
And that was the day when it all fell apart for Sonny. 

He called me in tears the following day and he told me everything. He told me that he forgot about the note that I had given him and his “father" was doing the wash and found it. He said his “father" screamed at him to come downstairs and explain. And Sonny told him the truth, that he didn't like girls and that he was dating me. His “father" smacked him repeatedly, punched him, kicked him, and just beat him up pretty good. But no... That didn't seem to please his “father" enough. Sonny had told me he wasn't sure if his dad had been drinking earlier, but it would have scared him if he hadn't been. He was yelling random things, well not really random... but hurtful things. Like, faggot, fairy boy, cocksucker, queer ect... 
Sonny told me that his dad took him up to his bedroom and smacked the shit out of him some more, and then he stripped him down and tied him to the bed post and raped him. Sonny said he tried to get away and he tried to make him stop. But he was tied up and covered in his blood, sweat, vomit, semen, and tears. 

I cried with him on the phone. I told him to pack everything worth packing and to sneak out at 2 A.M and to come to my house. And that’s what he did. He came with a couple bags of clothes and CD's and we took it from there. We had only been together for what a week or two? But I knew I loved him. Even then. Only 2 weeks into a relationship, and I knew I loved him. I made enough money with my job... and when he was 18 he got one too. And it was just enough to get us by. And we were happy. But every time I tried to... well you know touch him, he'd back away or tear my hands off and clutch himself. I told him that I would never force him to do ANYTHING he didn't want to, and I'd love him regardless. After a couple of months he was okay with me comforting him, and we started to talk about it. He let out all his emotions and I accepted that fact that we were NOT having sex anytime soon. And that was perfectly okay with me. I've never been beaten or raped so I guess that gave me 2 reasons not to fully understand why he was so torn. But we got through it. And still, without sex, going strong for 3 years. 

“Come on Mattie, your slow" " No! You’re just fast" He grabbed my hands in his and smiled. “I’ll slow down then" My eyes met his and our lips collided again. For a short time though, but it was sweet and loving. “House... now" " Oh someone’s being pushy" I smirked; I didn't care though, Sonny was so amazing. He dragged me through the door and let go of my hand. He was smiling out of control. “Sonny are you alright?" “Yes! Defiantly alright. I love you Mattie!" I was getting confused. “I... Love you too Sonny" “Let’s go upstairs okay?" I nodded. Maybe he was just sleepy. “You tired babe?" I asked, as I sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at me like I was growing another head. “No... Not at all" “Really? Then why did you want to come up here?" “Well... I... Uhh" “Sonny, you can tell me" I said smiling. He walked towards me and sat next to me on the bed. He glided his hand over my hand that was resting on the duvet; he played with my fingers for a while. With his black hair messily in his eyes he tossed his head so it moved out of the way, but only for a second. “Matt, I... I think I'm ready to give myself up to you tonight" He said nervously. My heart ached; I pulled my hand away from his and turned to face him. 

I began to stroke the side of his face, brushing his hair behind his ears. “No Sonny, I remember what happened to you in the past... don't think that you have to do this, please" His mouth opened but then his lip quivered. “Shh Sonny don't cry, its okay" He pushed my hands away from his face and stood up. “But it's not okay. You've been with me... dealt with me for 3 years. And it's about time Matt. I've made you wait for so long. What was in the past stays in the past" “Sonny, I’ve loved you for the past 3 years also. I told you that I was okay with you not being ready. It's still okay, it will always be okay" “I am ready. Now, I'm ready" “Baby... I'm perfectly fine with waiting..." He shook his head, making the hair behind his ears fall out and cover his beautiful brown eyes. He then pulled his shirt off above his head, tossing it on the ground. All I kept thinking in my head was... no.

He walked back towards me with a much happier look on his face. He gently pushed me backwards onto our bed and crawled on top of me. I let him smother my neck with soft kisses, slightly moaning after he bit a sensitive spot. He tugged at the bottom of my shirt. “Can I?” He asked like he needed permission. I smiled and nodded. I lifted my hands up and he took off my shirt. He ran his fingers over multiple tattoos on my chest and stomach. He placed lingering kisses on my soft upper body. I began to stroke his hair in my fingers as he made a trail of kisses downwards. He came to the hem of my jeans and stopped, but he looked up at me innocently. I nodded and un did my button and un zipped my zipper. He pulled my pants down and I kicked them off. I didn’t want it to get any further then this, I mean this boy had been through so much, and just a few months ago he would barely let me touch him. His fingertips grazed the rim of my boxers lightly, as he smiled up at me once more. Instead of pulling them down or touching me, he started taking off his pants and he threw them on the floor. He still didn’t touch me where I wanted to be touched at the moment, but that was okay, I didn’t expect it to get any further then ‘fooling around’ anyway. But I was wrong. 

“Matt do you love me? Honestly can you say that you truly love me?” he asked, laying his head on my chest, tracing small circles on my collarbone. “Of course Sonny, I can truthfully say that I'm 100 percent completely in love with you” “Really?” “Yes” “Then, make love to me” I was shocked. I stared into his eyes that were shinning so brightly in the moonlight that seeped threw the window. “Sonny I... want to it’s just... I... don’t think your ready... We’re ready” He bit down on his lower lip and moved himself closer to me. He kissed my cheek before whispering in my ear. ‘I’m ready, more then ever, Mattie I’m so sure about this” He slid a finger down my chest and smiled. “I love you Matt, I want to show it to you” “I love you Sonny, and I don’t want to hurt you...” “You wont” He started to rub me softly threw the thin layer of fabric of my boxers. I groaned softly and nodded. My body shivered as he pulled down the last article of clothing we both had. I’ve seen him naked before and he’s seen me… we just, never did anything. I shivered again thinking about the terrible experience he had. What a horrible way to lose your precious virginity. Painful both physically and emotionally. This is why I had to make this as special as I could. He had a firm grip on my erection now, I knew he had no experience what so ever with any type of sex, but I didn’t let that bother me. My body trembled as his touch was so soft, so gentle. His thumb lightly grazed the head of my penis, the pre cum leaking out of the tip already. 

“Mmm Sonny” I moaned as he went a bit harder and faster. He released my penis and traced his hands up my body. My eyes skimmed his body. Every inch of his body, slowly. He was so incredibly thin. So tiny and delicate. I didn’t want to hurt him. “Sonny… would, you like to give?” “No, take” This surprised me also. If I were him, I’d be kind of scared. I’ve never really had sex with anyone so fragile, I wasn’t sure if I could do this. My heart would shatter if I hurt him. He kissed my chest and up my neck, he made his way to my lips and bit down on my lip ring. He did a little flip over and he was on his back very close to me. His hands made a wave like motion down his smooth, hairless body… all the way down. I watched in awe as his hands swept past his throbbing erection. I saw this as the right timing, and I climbed on top of him, my knees in-between his legs. “Sonny, I love you and everything, and I'm probably going to regret this… all of this, but before I can make love to you I need to stretch you first” He nodded and took a few deep breaths. He took one of my fingers and put it into his mouth, creating lube with his saliva. That freaking turned me on more then anything. He took another in his mouth, and then guided them to his entrance. I slipped one in at a time, trying to go as slow as possible. I felt his muscles tighten around my two fingers. “Please try and relax” I whispered, and he nodded and took more deep breaths. I added another finger and he winced a bit. “Sorry’ I sad softly, feeling guilty already. 

I felt he was ready and I slid my fingers out slowly. I lined my penis with his entrance and leaned over his chest. As I slipped the tip in I brushed my lips against his, trying to ease the pain. I knew the tears would fall soon. I slid a little bit more in, going very slow. As I got about halfway in I herd him gasp. “Mattie it hurts” I stopped pushing more in and wiped the tears away with my thumb. “I’m so sorry Sonny, I’m sorry” I felt I wanted to cry! Seeing my lovely little Sonny in pain like this! The tears slowly stopped and he told me that I could get the rest in and start moving. “Please go slow” “Of course” I started an even, slow set pace. “Shh relax, or it’ll hurt worse” I whispered soothingly. 

He nodded again and gripped the bed sheets in his fists. After a few minutes his muscles relaxed and he wasn’t in as much pain anymore. “You… can go faster now” He said, loosening his grip on the sheets, placing his hands around my neck. I quickened up the pace a bit, but not too quick. “Oh Matt!” he said, gasping for air. I knew now that the terrible pain had be replaced with pleasure, so I went a bit deeper, hitting that certain spot that made him cry out. “Holy crap... Mattie! Fuck... Harder!” I obeyed every command he gave me, I held onto his thin frame for leverage trying to keep him steady. His nails dug into my neck as he thrusted his hips back to meet my own thrusts. “Oh god Sonny!” I griped his penis in my hand and started to pump him in rhythm with our thrusts. He bit down on his lower lip and grunted. “Matt... I’m so close” I only stroked him faster and thrusted in harder. “Oh… fuck… I’m Cumming!” he moaned as he came on my hand and his stomach. Feeling his warm juice on my hands, as I continued pumping him even though he was done made me very close to my peak. “Shit… Sonny, Fuck” I said, right before I came deep inside of him. He gasped for air at the feeling and he couldn't stop panting. I slowly pulled myself out of him and collapsed on his chest, sweaty and spent. 

My head rested on his chest that was rising and falling quickly. “I love you Sonny, so freaking much” “I love you too Matt. I love you too” “Your amazing, Sonny” He giggled and wrapped his arms around me. Our breathing was going back to normal finally. He placed a short, loving kiss on my forehead and his hold around me got tighter. “I’m never letting go Mattie, never”