The surrogate

It was driving Julie Morgan crazy! She couldn't seem to have an orgasm without first imagining herself being viciously raped by an unknown attacker. She had read all the books on female arousal, and even though they all repeated the mantra that just because you fantasize about something, doesn't mean that you really want to go through with the said fantasy! This was all well and good in theory, but for Julie it was becoming almost an obsession! When she first started having sex at eighteen, her orgasms were directed to her boyfriend, but as the years passed by, more and more she had to have this picture in her mind of he being forced to perform the most intimate acts on a total stranger. In most of her fantasies her assailant was black or Hispanic with a huge erection. She couldn't figure out it's significance, but she was worried enough to contemplate seeing a "shrink" about her problem!

Julie hated the thought of talking about her "problem" with a stranger, but she felt she had no choice. Letting her fingers do the walking, she found the number of several doctors who specialized in dysfunctional sexual obsessions. After calling them and briefly speaking to the each physician, she decided to make and appointment with Dr. Margaret Kohler. Even over the phone, it was apparent that Dr. Kohler had a very empathetic way about her. Her voice was smooth and reassuring without being too syrupy. Julie got the feeling that maybe Dr.Kohler could finally give her an answer, or at least and explanation for her problem. So with a little trepidation she made the appointment for the following Wednesday at 4:00pm.

Margaret Kohler's office was located on the tenth floor of the Murrow Medical Building, and while the waiting room was rather small, Julie attributed that to the fact that unlike a medical doctor, a psychiatrist didn't have a lot of emergency patients, and could keep the sessions more or less to the proscribed times. An attractive receptionist was seated at a small desk outside a door that lead to the inner offices. Julie approached her and was greeted with, "Oh, you must be Julie Morgan, fill out these forms and the doctor will see you in about fifteen minutes, she is finishing up with another patient." Julie took the stack of papers from the receptionist and sat down to complete them. There were the usual insurance forms that she quickly disposed of, but the personal history questionnaire, that was another matter. The questions became increasingly direct when it came to describing her particular problem. Spending most of fifteen minutes on it, Julie finally put down her pen and waited for the doctor.

Doctor Margaret Kohler wasn't anything like Julie had imagined. She was tall and slim, and much younger than Julie was expecting her to be. Dr. Kohler introduced herself and asked Julie to sit down in the padded chair in front of her large wooden desk. The doctor sat down and spent a couple of minutes reviewing the personal history form information that Julie had given her until finally looking up and saying, "Is this a pretty accurate account of the problem you're having during sexual activity?" Julie nodded, and added, "The thing is, it seems to be getting worse, I can't seem to have an orgasm without the thoughts and images of me being brutally raped, it used to be what I thought was a passing fantasy but now it dominates my whole sex life!" "Have you talked it over with your boy friend," asked the doctor? "No, I'm afraid he wouldn't understand what I was feeling and take it as an affront on his manhood," she answered, "there's no way that I can tell him!" "Tell me then," continued the doctor, "are your orgasms satisfactory when you have these fantasies about being raped?" "God yes," exclaimed Julie, "they are the most fantasticI have ever had in my life, nothing my boyfriend could do to me could ever approach the high I get from thinking about being taken forcibly." "Do you think that you really want to be raped," asked Doctor Kohler? "I don't know," answered Julie, "that's what worries me the most, I'm afraid that I might consciously or unconsciously put my self in a position where I may get hurt trying to satisfy my own curiosity."

The doctor leaned back in her chair and seemed to day dream for a couple of seconds, then asked Julie, "If you could satisfy your desire of being raped in a safe way, would you consider it?" Julie thought about it for a moment or two and then answered, "If it was guaranteed safe, yeah, I would try it." "Well," continued the doctor, "we have a way of satisfying your curiosity without putting you in any kind of danger, have you ever heard of a surrogate?!?" "You mean like surrogate mothers, that sort of thing," answered Julie? "No, not like that," said the doctor, "what we have here at the clinic are trained sexual technicians, or surrogates, who can play just about any role you throw at them, in your case, the role would be one of an attacking rapist, with the main difference between this and the real thing, however, is that you can stop the session at anytime." "What we have found is, that after a person actually experiences their ultimate sexual fantasy, it isn't a fantasy anymore, and the excitement quickly wears off, and I think that you are a prime candidate for this type of treatment," added the doctor. It had never entered Julie's mind to actually try it, so she wasn't exactly prepared to answer without some thought. The doctor, realizing her anguish said, "You don't have to make a decision right now, but think about it, I believe that this type of therapy go a long way in solving your problem." Julie then asked, "Who would do something like this?" The doctor reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a two inch thick loose leaf binder. Opening it up, she showed Julie the pictures of hundreds of men, of all different races, ages, and sizes. "I think that we can find someone in here who would fit your idea of a mad rapist," intoned Dr. Kohler! Julie, now looking intently at the pictures in front of her, stopped when she came to the photo of a thrityish looking black man. "What about him," asked Julie, pointing to the picture? Dr. Kohler removed the picture and checked the information printed on the back. "This is a thirty four year old black male, six feet tall, and two hundred pounds," she answered, "yes, I think he would do nicely!" "How do we go about doing this," asked a slightly nervous Julie, "would it be here at your office?" "Oh no," replied Dr. Kohler, "this too much of a controlled environment, it has to be out in the city somewhere, to make it realistic enough to have the desired affect." "What happens if I get to afraid and want him to stop," Julie asked? "We'll give you a "safe" word, a word that you can use at anytime to stop the whole program, so if for example your safe word was "needle", all you would have to do is say that word and your surrogate would stop immediately, it's that easy!" "When would it happen," questioned Julie? "We can't tell you when or where, but I can tell you that it will be sometime in the next two weeks," replied the doctor. "Do you want to go ahead with the treatment," asked the doctor? "Yes, yes I do," responded Julie, "set it up, I want to do it!"

For the next few days Julie gave every black man she met and extra look. She wasn't even sure anymore of what her surrogate looked like, after all she only had a few seconds look at his picture! After four days without so much as a hint of contact, she called Dr. Kohler's office to make sure all the arrangements had been made, she was assured that everything was set up and that her surrogate had been given his assignment. She decided that it wasn't doing her any good to dwell on the subject, so she tried to keep it out of her mind and think about other things. When she arrived home from work that evening the lobby of her building was empty of people, but this wasn't unusual because there were only twenty five units, and most of the tenets were young people who had jobs and spent a lot of time away from the building. Getting on the elevator to take her to the third floor, Julie was startled when from out of nowhere a man slipped into the elevator behind her. Before she could turn around and get a good look at him, he had one arm around her waist and a knife at her throat! Even though she knew that this man was there to fulfill her fantasy, she was none the less terrified! In a low harsh whisper he said, "One false move or a sound of any kind and I cut you, got it!?!" Julie nodded her head and tried not to make any unnecessary movements. "Push your floor number," he ordered! Julie pressed the button to the third floor, and they both waited in silence as the elevator slowly traveled up to three. When they got there and the doors opened, he captor told her to walk to her apartment and unlock it, also reminding her again that any sound would result in a slit throat! Julie fumbled for her keys, almost dropping the to the carpet, and with shaky hand unlocked her apartment door. The door swung open and she was shoved violently inside, so hard in fact that she fell down! He quickly shut the door behind him, and grabbed Julie by the hair and pulled her to her feet. "In here," he ordered her, pushing her into the living room. By now Julie had gotten a good look at his face, and she couldn't tell if he looked like his picture or not, however, he definitely looked meaner that his photo! "Sit down," he said, pointing to the wooden rocking chair her mother had given to her as a house warming present, while reaching into his pocket, he produced a roll of duct tape, and proceeded to tape her wrists to arm rests on the chair. He did the same to her ankles, taping them to the front chair legs, and then taking a small piece and putting it over her mouth. When he felt she was totally immobilized, he took a stroll around the apartment, and although she was still afraid, Julie was getting a little used to his presence, and relaxed a little bit. The feeling of his large powerful hands had made Julie's vagina begin to dampen, and incredibly she was feeling was almost exactly the same feeling her fantasy gave her! When he returned to the living room, he was carrying a bottle of beer and a sandwich, which he had made in the kitchen. "Hope you don't mind if I borrow some food," he laughed, and then took a long drink from the beer bottle. He sat down on the couch to finish his snack, looking at Julie as he ate.