The Whist Drive

So Dolly comes back from this lovely moonlit stroll, and what does she find? Diana Fortescue-Slagg using filthy language and flashing her knickers. Veronica Panting having acrobatic sex with a rocking horse. Marjorie Snatch squeezing whipped cream into her cunt as if it was Polyfilla.

Oh God, that reminds Dolly of the disgusting things she’s got to do! And, horror of horrors, she’s got to do them soon! She’s got to go on after Veronica Panting, who’s so beautiful and tall and slim, plus about ten years younger than her.

And everyone will say: “Ugh! Who’s that top-heavy little fat dwarf? She can’t do the flying trapeze naked. She can’t lash up a fresh fruit salad in her crotch. Get her off!”

Jim and Bert are not stupid, and they can sense some of this conflict going on inside Dolly’s head.

Jim can’t bloody believe it. With her super-posh voice and huge bust, Dolly Harder has always been his belle ideal. He’d always vowed that he’d pay his life savings for the chance of a dirty weekend with Dolly Harder. And Jim doesn’t know exactly what Bill Slagg’s cooking up for Dolly. But it looks like it could give Jim the best chance he’ll ever have to get sweaty with Dolly.

Bert’s a bit more romantic than Jim. He realises there’s a bit more going on here than first-time stripper-fright. As a builder, he can see just how run-down Harder Hall has become. “Maybe she’s stripping to save the ancient family home!” he tells himself. “Brave lass!!”

Anyway, they agree: “Poor little poppet. Build up her confidence.”

“Dolly, are you really going to tek off your clothes?” Bert whispers. Dolly nods bravely. “Because you’ve got no option, eh, lass?” Wow!

“Listen, pet, most of the blokes here have a lifetime ambition to see you nekkid. So I know you’re worried that these chaps will get out of hand. But don’t worry. Jim and I will protect you. Over our dead bodies, eh, Jim?”

“Aye, Bert. Lissen, mate, you fight them off, and I’ll carry the gorgeous naked lass away to a ‘place of safety’, hur hur hur.” Dolly guffaws. And so our love birds pass the time, until......

Diana claps her hands again. “Yes, Veronica, that was lovely nursery fun for us all!”

“And now, gentlemen, a change of pace. We’ve all been so sorry to see the decline in respect for the monarchy, haven’t we?” (Speak for yourself, Diana.)
“The Queen’s Christmas Day Message last year had the lowest ever viewing figures. Tragic!” (She really means it.)

“So we’re trying to relaunch the Queen’s Message tonight. You know, give it a bit more glamour. And so, here it is, put over by Stuffett’s own ‘royal personage’, MISS DOLLY HARDER!”

The lights go up at the far end of the room, where a strange figure is discovered at the writing desk. It’s wearing a shapeless grey wig and Dame Edna glasses. It has a mangy looking toy dog on its lap.

And then it starts to speak:-

“Good evening!” it says.

And everybody there thinks: “My God! Dolly’s voice really is just like the Queen’s. Only a little bit posher!”

Dolly’s nervous as hell, but Bert and Jim give her the thumbs up. They’ve plonked themselves in the front row. If only Bert and Jim were wearing blue gingham skirts and pom-poms, they’d look every inch the Dolly Harder Cheerleaders.

Dolly ploughs on: “Prince Philip and I are delighted to be here in Yorkshire.” That at least gets a hearty laugh.

Dolly then takes off her wig, glasses and woolly shawl. She now looks like a woman again, which gets an approving murmur. Dolly drop-kicks the dog into the audience, which gets another laugh, and she starts to feel a bit better.

“May I thank you for your loyal support”, Dolly says, cupping her huge bosom. “Very loyal support!” she says to Bert and Jim, with a sexy smile and a meaningful nod. Bert and Jim need no telling. They leap to their feet, and pose to the audience with a hand under each of Dolly’s bosoms.

“My belief in liberty, democracy and free love....” continues the monarch, tossing her head back and grinding her hips.

“Among my cherished mammaries, I mean memories....” she reflects, slipping out of her ballgown. The Queen of England is now revealed in a red basque. The basque barely contains two great creamy fun-packed knockers.

“As the Commonwealth emerges from its colonial past, we now face two huge challenges”, Dolly observes, rubbing and kneading the ‘two huge challenges’. “Which we must address. If the British people are willing...?”

“We are!” roar Jim and Bert.

So off comes the basque. Setting free two quite monumental breasts. Which swing and sway regally.

Dolly now lashes the crowd into a royalist frenzy. Making a series of off-colour comments about being open to this and thrusting forward with that, the Queen gets up and goes on a walkabout. Her sovereign knockers get many loyal kisses and rubs.

Finally Dolly tears off her knickers; straightens her tiara; squats down open-legged on her throne; and calls out “God bless!” Bizarre!

As the crowd roars, Jim and Bert pick Dolly up. She has an arm over each bloke’s shoulders. Dolly sits in their arms as they support one curvy little leg each. Very nice for Dolly, except that her two gallant bearers aren’t that well co-ordinated. Jim and Bert keep going in different directions. So Dolly’s cunt gets opened very wide indeed.

Never mind, Dolly won’t fall, because Jim and Bert also have a hand under her bonny white bottom. Dolly’s bum is so smooth and silky that it’s inevitable the lads’ grip will occasionally slip. Which means that big tickling fingers sometimes slip inside her fanny. These things will happen!

Anyway, after about the third attempt, Bert hits Dolly’s G spot. Jackpot! This gets Dolly bucking and moaning and laughing and screaming. Jim and Bert keep this going as long as they can, but Dolly seems to be on the verge of a cardiac arrest. So they place her tenderly on the table with Marjorie and Veronica.

So three-quarters of the Middle England Whist Club are now fully undressed. Or, to put it another way, we now have before our very eyes three gorgeous middle-aged tarts, stark cunting nude. And diddling away.

What a beautiful, fleshy selection of luscious, round bottoms and breasts! What roguish, pouting lips (both mouths and vaginas!) And what delicious, slurpy, pink nipples and clits!

And best of all is the expression on each lovely face, which can only be described as ‘inviting’. Marjorie, Veronica and Dolly are making it very clear, as they survey the room, that they’re simply panting for a fuck.

So where does that leave the remaining member of the Whist Club, that pillar of our community, Mrs Diana Fortescue-Slagg?

Now Diana’s showing her very nice legs all the way from ankle up to hipbone. But even so, Diana’s still looking a bit prim. (Certainly by comparison with her naked and openly wanking chums.)

But Diana immediately does something about all that! She claps her hands, advances into the centre of the room and says: “Thank you Dolly, that was lovely! My, everybody, these parties are fun, but they’re jolly hard work, you know. Ha ha, I’m quite shagged out! You just wouldn’t believe how hot and sticky I’ve become.”

And Diana wipes her brow. That doesn’t seem to work, though, so Diana bends down, gracefully slips off her panties and uses them to dab her brow. Everybody immediately pays attention! Diana says “oh, these panties are sopping wet too!” and tosses them aside.

From that point on, Diana’s every move is checked out by every male eye. It’s quite remarkable how much bending and stretching Diana needs to do as she bustles around the room, serving drinks and brightly chattering. And of course there are always times when a girl just has to hitch up her skirt, and give her cunt a really good scratch.

Now the men all think it’s rather interesting to see Diana Fortescue-Slagg dressed up as a maid. Because Diana’s well known in Stuffett as a pretty harsh employer, who treats her servants like dogs.

As if reading their minds, Diana says: “You wouldn’t believe how tough Bill can be, everyone. He works me like a dog! Woof woof!” And with that, Diana clips on a kinky-looking spiked dog collar. (With a long lead, which she tosses to Bill.)

Diana then says “And Bill’s so tight! He never pays for a change of clothes.” This one gets a good laugh, as Diana’s spending on clothes is an economic miracle, and is the main reason why Harvey Nicholls decided to open a store in Leeds.

“If anything was to happen to this shabby old dress”, Diana says, “I don’t know what I should do.”

And at that very moment, Diana quite accidentally pours some red wine down her front; she squeals; sits down in some of Marjorie’s whipped cream; and then scrubs so hard at her dress that she tears the flimsy material with her nails.

Well of course Diana’s dress is ruined, so off it has to come. And there she is without a stitch on!

And we can all see how well Diana has looked after her body, what with dieting and gym and …errr….working like a dog. She’s got a firm flat belly; nice tight butt; and big tits with very little sag. Diana’s long elegant thighs broaden excitingly as they rise from the kneecaps, until they get to the main event – sat midway between Diana’s shapely hips is a little red muff, with a juicy cunt peeping through.

“Never mind, Diana, there, there, good dog”, says Bill, and he jerks her lead.

Diana gets down on all fours and starts crawling round the floor with her bare bottom sticking out. (And her delicious cunt sticking out of that). Every time she gets to one of the guys, she kneels at his feet and attempts to unzip his flies with her mouth, saying: “Doggie needs a boner, woof woof!”.

Some of the blokes see Diana coming and helpfully unzip their trousers for her. This causes quite a lot of doggy licking of whatever Diana can find inside their trousers.

Diana then rounds the performance off by saying: “Bitch in heat!” She lies on the carpet with her knees drawn up under her ears. She waggles her hind quarters around, making her cunt lips open and close, and makes urgent panting noises.

What a good doggy!

Everyone’s having such a good time that nobody really notices Bill changing the film. He’s got an hour’s footage already.

Our four cunty heroines will never be allowed to forget the Whist Club Open Evening. Not that any of them seem to care right now! The mood they’re in, they look like they’d happily frolic naked in the mud with the entire Bradford Bulls rugby team at half time in the Challenge Cup Final. Now there’s a thought….

Party fun

“Anyway, we’ve now shown you our talents” says Diana. “So let the fun begin! We’ve all got some nice ideas. Marjorie?”

“Well”, says Marjorie, “I could do with a fuck.” (Good old Marj!) “But I’m a terrible sticky mess, so I’m going for a shower first. Who wants to soap my tits? Joe?” (You bet.) “And then I’m going to lie on Dolly’s big bed and take on all comers.”

And off Marjorie goes, taking the stairs in a most excitingly naked, splay-legged style. Joe follows behind, practically sniffing her beautiful white backside and cunt.

Well that was real classy, wasn’t it!

“Veronica?” invites Diana.

Veronica has by now tottered off her rocking horse. She’s still naked of course, and has spent the last half hour snogging Ted and Eric on the sofa.

On hearing her name called, Veronica rolls on to the floor. She crawls over to Diana, waggling her cunt in the air. Then Veronica clambers on to Marjorie’s table and sits there with her legs spread wide.

“Well…” says Veronica, kneading her breasts, and thrusting them at Ted.

“Well…” says Veronica, licking her lips, and winking at Eric.

“Well….” she pants, frigging her clit. “Ohhh, that’s better…”

“Come on, Veronica, dear!” says Diana, although nobody seems to mind Veronica’s dithering.

“Well”, says Veronica. “Marjorie’s got it right for once. We could all do with a fuck.”

“But I’m not an easy lay like Marjorie, you know! Before you fuck, you have to go on a date. That’s what the Headmistress always used to say to us at Cheltenham Ladies College.”

“So I’d like to start dating again. There’s some nice men in this town. But I need to improve my dating technique first. My fellatio needs practice.” (You what, Veronica?) “Fellatio is educated language for cock sucking.” (Well why didn’t you say so!)

“So I’m going to go in the conservatory, and I’m going to hang this sign on the door.” And with a big grin, Bill hands Veronica an ‘Engaged/Vacant’ sign.

On the ‘Vacant’ side the sign reads:-
“COCK NEED SUCKING? COME IN, COME IN, AND LET ME PRACTICE ON YOU! (PLEASE INDICATE BEFOREHAND IF YOU WANT ME TO SWALLOW, SPIT OR TAKE IT ON MY FACE) ”

And on the ‘Engaged’ side, it reads:-
“SORRY, I’M BUSY SUCKING COCK. COME BACK LATER”

And off Veronica runs, with her tight little bottom juddering, pursued by Eric, Ted and half the party.

“Just you and me left, Dolly!” says Diana. “Plus a few of these scrumptious men. What can we do to entertain them?”

Dolly gets up off Bert’s lap, and touches her toes in front of Bert’s face. Her breasts billow against her knees, and the underside of her hairy twat brushes against Bert’s nose.

“Oh Bert”, Dolly giggles, “I’m stuck! Please don’t take advantage of me!”

Jim ‘rescues’ Dolly by picking her up in a fireman’s lift. Dolly’s backside hangs over his shoulder, affording an excellent view of quivering upper class fanny. Jim sets Dolly gently on the sofa, where she immediately assumes a star fish position.

“Well, Diana,” Dolly says. “I wouldn’t be so crude as to say I need a fuck. Dear me no! Although I would be quite partial to wrapping my cunt lips round a big sweaty cock. I will just say this….”