The Game ... First Time Sex: Part 23 - Loving Marcus

***Please read chapters 1 - 22 in order to get the full impact of the story.

The last thing that I remember is Donna, Marcus, Tonya, and I going to sleep in our tent after enjoying at day at the High Sierra Music Festival. I'm not much of a pot smoker, and I remember smoking way too much for a novice. I try to open my eyes, but I'm blinded with bright lights from the ceiling. There is also an unbearable sunlight beam coming in through a window on the left side of my bed. I'm squinting my eyes. I can barely make out the outline of Marcus, but the bright light makes it too painful to open my eyes completely. Try as I might, my eyes can't seem to adjust to the intensity of the light, so I give up and keep them closed.

"It's 'bout time you woke up," says Marcus.

"Turn off the lights, and close the curtains," I plead.

"Sure," says Marcus.

The light in the room becomes more bearable to my sensitive eyes. I look around and don't see a tent. The surroundings confuse me, and I have no idea where I am.

"Marcus?" I say.

"Yes. How do you feel?" he says.

"OK?" I ask and answer without really knowing.

"Do you remember anything?" asks Marcus.

"I'm confused," I say.

"Let me get Tonya," says Marcus.

Marcus leaves the room, and I'm trying to collect my memory and figure out everything around me. Fucking geezus. I'm in a hospital bed. The door opens, and a nurse comes in. She's holding a chart and seems to be in her forties. At the same time a doctor comes in the room.

"We've been waiting on you to wake up for days," says the doctor.

"Do you know where you are?" asks the nurse.

Marcus is standing by the door, and it seems everyone is waiting for me to say something intelligent.

"It looks like I'm in a hospital," I say.

"Good so far," says the doctor.

"It's Vanderbilt University Medical Center," says the nurse.

"In Tennessee?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes. Nashville," smiles the nurse.

"You said you were going to get Tonya. Where's Tonya?" I ask Marcus.

"I'm Tonya," says the nurse.

"Tonya and Marcus have been at your side since you got out of intensive care. I'm Dr. Tamara Jadon," says the female physician.

"Oh fuck," I say.

"Excuse you," laughs Marcus.

"You're not Tonya," I say to the nurse.

"My name is Tonya," says the nurse.

"I'm confused," I say.

"That's expected after a head trauma. You've been unconscious for several days," says Dr. Jadon.

"I have?" I ask.

"Yes. You had a big bang on the head to put it mildly," says the nurse named Tonya.

I try to make out Dr. Jadon to see if she's hot, but I can't see her very well.

"So where's Donna?" I ask.

"My mom?" asks Marcus.

"You're mom?" I ask.

"My mom?" laughs Marcus.

"I'm asking about Donna," I insist.

"That's my mother's name, but why do you want to know where she is?" asks Marcus.

"A bit of confusion is normal," says Dr. Jadon.

"You're mother is Donna?" I ask.

"Yes?" Marcus states in a question.

"So we didn't go to the music festival?" I ask.

"What music festival? We were driving back to our apartment when we got slammed by a guy who ran through a stop sign," says Marcus.

"Was Donna driving?" I ask.

"Donna? No, my mom live in Miami. I was driving," laughs Marcus.

"I don't remember," I say.

"After head traumas, a lot of short term memory is lost," says Dr. Jadon.

"I think you met my mom only once about a year ago when we moved into our apartment. She must have made an impact on you," smiles Marcus.

"I don't mean that Donna. Your girl friend Donna," I say.

"I guess you have a lot that you don't remember. I don't have girl a friend," says Marcus.

Even with the light dimmed, I am barely able to fully focus on anyone in the room except Marcus. I can't really make out what the nurse named Tonya looks like. Geezus, I still can't see what Dr. Jadon looks like either. Everything seems blurry, and I'm totally disoriented. At some point everyone left, but I don't know when. Suddenly, it's pitch black in the room. I guess it's night. Maybe several hours have passed. I don't know. Marcus is the only one with me, and I can see him plainly. He appears to be in his mid to late twenties, not the peach-fuzz-face, immature Marcus that I'm expecting.

"I couldn't wait for you to wake up," he says.

Suddenly, I feel a familiar urge and great affection toward Marcus. I realize that Marcus is my lover. That big dick I have been avoiding is really what I want.

"The nurses are giving us some time alone. I told them about us," says Marcus.

"So, you don't have a girl friend named Donna, do you?" I state matter-of-factly.

"No," says Marcus.

"So it's just me and you?" I ask.

"I think you're remembering now," laughs Marcus.

"And we don't live in huge houses with gates and maids and shit?" I say.

"Not quite. I guess we'd all like to have servants," says Marcus whose voice is quite mature and a lot older than I recall.

"And we're not honors students?" I ask.

"Honors? That's a laugh. If you don't get out of here and back to school, you're lucky to keep your "C" in English," Marcus says.

"Geezus, you have a southern accent?" I ask.

"Any you don't?" laughs Marcus.

"Oh geezus, I'm not in high school anymore?" I ask.

"No, not for a long time. You just got enrolled at a community college after waiting all these years," laughs Marcus.

"Oh Fuck. I wanted to go to Cal Tech," I say.

"Oh yeah. Right. I hope your memory hasn't given you delusions of grandeur," laughs Marcus.

"So you're my lover, right?" I ask.

"Every day for the last five years," says Marcus patiently allowing me to slowly recover bits and pieces of my memory.

I reach out and grab Marcus between his legs and his dick is hard. That hasn't changed. Oh geezus, why don't I remember this? I just know I want him. Marcus bends over the bed and reaches under the sheet. He slips his hand down my pajamas and pumps my dick.

"You're memory may be foggy, but I bet you remember this," says Marcus as he kisses me.

"We're gonna do it here?" I ask.

"Sure. Why not?" asks Marcus.

"I'm worried that someone will come in the door and see us," I say.

"I said that the nurses are letting me spend a little time alone with you tonight," says Marcus.

It all seems too convenient, and it all seems too fast, but as Marcus lowers his lips on my dick, I relax. I think about Tonya and Donna, but it's really confusing.

"Get up here and face fuck me," I command Marcus.

Marcus gets up on the bed, and I feel his cock inside of my mouth. He pushes in and out as he straddles on his left knee and partially standing on his right foot.

"Nice. I've been waiting a week for that," says Marcus.

I'm wondering why I hadn't felt this way before as he continues to edge himself in and out of my mouth. I hope my memory returns because I'm still thinking about Donna and Tonya, but that seems to be a dream. My thoughts circle around and around in my brain as everything runs together. I envision Donna, Marcus, Tonya, and me driving around and it seems like a very vivid memory, but now I'm only with Marcus. Where's the Kia Forte, the media room, the hedge row behind Donna's house, and my bedroom on the second floor where Donna first fucked Marcus? All of the sudden, Marcus is gone, and I'm alone. It's dark in the room once again.

"Wake up," says Tonya.

I feel Tonya gently nudging me, and I squint through my eye lids to see her.

"Oh geezus. You're not a nurse?" I ask as I stare up at Tonya.

"No. I don't think so," laughs Tonya.

I look over and don't see Marcus.

"Holy fuck. Where's Marcus?" I ask.

"Marcus and Donna? They're outside. They just got up," says Tonya.

"Holy fucking geezus," I say rather loudly.

I sit up abruptly, and I'm relieved to see that I'm inside a tent.

"What?" asks Tonya as she sees me staring.

"I had a dream," I say.

"You were mumbling. Was it scary?" she asks.

"It was a dream, and it felt so real, but I'm not sure it was scary. Geezus, I'm not sure if I can call it a nightmare or what," I say.

"What was it about?" asks Tonya.

"Well, nothing I want to talk about," I say.

"Come on. Tell me," says Tonya with a hint of curiosity.

"Well, I dreamed that I was in a hospital, and you were my nurse," I say.

"That doesn't sound so bad," says Tonya.

"But it wasn't really you," I say.

"So I was there, but I wasn't? asks Tonya acting annoyed.

"It was a nurse in her forties named Tonya, but I couldn't actually see her too well," I explain.

"So you blurred me out and made me old?" laughs Tonya.

"No. No. It really wasn't you. It was just someone named Tonya I think," I say defensively.

"Well at least you were thinking about me," laughs Tonya.

Marcus and Donna are listening from outside the tent. They open the flap and look in.

"So were we there?" asks Marcus.

"You were there, but we were roommates, and I guess we were in college or something. We had an apartment together," I say.

"sweet," says Marcus.

"And where was I?" asks Donna.

"Believe me. I asked about you, but it turned out that Marcus' mother's name was Donna. It wasn't you I don't think," I say.

"Wow," says Donna.

"And there was a women named Dr. Tamara Jadon," I say.

"So Dorothy. We were all in Oz with a bad witch after us, and you were trying to get back to Kansas?" laughs Donna.

"Well you were all in my dream at least in name. Marcus was very clear to me except he was older. Maybe 25 or so," I say.

"So what else happened," asks Tonya.

"We didn't live in our large houses, and I had a southern accent," I say.

"That sounds sexy," says Tonya.

"How about me?" asks Marcus.

"I guess you were sexy because you had a southern accent too," I laugh and finally see a bit of humor in my dream.

"Well, it seems like a harmless dream. Anything else happen?" Donna asks.

"I guess that's it. I just remember how strange it was to awaken in a different reality," I say.

There is no way I'm going to admit that I dreamed that Marcus and I were lovers, and there is no way I was going to tell them what I was doing with him in my hospital bed. Gawd damn, it was just a dream. People dream about all sorts of shit. It doesn't mean that is what they want. We dream about stuff we want to avoid too. Maybe watching Donna suck Marcus just got re-wired in my brain and the pot just enhanced my feelings. I'm not over the dream yet, so I remember the urge like it had really happened. Geezus, that is something to write about but never talk about for sure. Tennessee? I haven't been there, but it seems idyllic just like Quincy. Oh geezus, no more heavy pot inhaling for me before I sleep.

"Well, reality is what you make of it," says Donna.

"And it's what you create," I add.

"So now you're both philosophers?" Tonya asks as she puts my flip flops on my feet.

"Maybe or maybe we all live in a dream," laughs Donna.

"Geezus, don't even say that," I shudder at the thought.

"Just so we are all in your dreams," says Donna.

"Well you were all there I guess, but it was scary," I recall.

It was a dream, so why am I so upset? I guess I worry about not having Tonya with me, and I feel guilty substituting Marcus for her even if it was in my dream. I don't know. I guess the chemical change in my brain from the pot is still going on because my dream still seems so gawd damn real. The feelings that I experienced in the dream are still clear in my memory. Marcus's features, all of them, and my erotic urge for him seem so real. Geezus, I actually remember having urges for Marcus? I honestly don't have sexual urges for him now that I'm awake, but I remember what I felt like in the dream. I'm not hot for Marcus. It' just isn't there. We're best friends, and there's nothing more to it. I'm not suppressing some inner thoughts, I don't think. Frankly, I have no desire to suck Marcus dick, period.

The day passes without incident, but I have flash backs of my dream all day. I check my email galaxysign at hotmail dot com. We catch the fun band, Marchfourth, again, and they're playing in front of their bus. We stay there for the entire impromptu concert. It takes my mind off of my creepy, fucking dream. I swear that I'll never smoke pot again. Well, at least maybe I won't get blasted out of reality. I mean, I was really wasted by the time I fucked Tonya. It felt great, but small details became overblown, and obviously reality got distorted in my dream and reality got scrambled around causing the weird scenario. One thing for sure, I won't get into Cal Tech, but my SAT scores are high enough to get me into a four year university rather than struggling through a community college in my mid twenties.

It's Sunday evening, and it's the last night of the festival. As dusk arrives we are listening to Ween. You can see the same performances that we enjoyed by watching them on Youtube. We had some pot left over, so we smoked it. I guess we should have done some pot every night, but it's nice to experience the natural high on Thursday and Friday. After I feel a slight buzz, I don't dare take another gawd damn puff. We stay for their entire Ween show. We're not going to the late night venue tonight, so after Ween, we shower and go back to our camp.

"You want me to roll some more?" asks Jadon.

"Sure," says Marcus.

I decline any more pot this time because I still have a good feeling from the earlier joint that we shared. Also, as I said before I don't want to have a repeat performance of crazy, fucking dreams that I had last night. That dream really shook me up. I want to do something to get my mind off of it. Jadon and Tamara are anxious to get started in their tent as usual. We haven't swapped or done anything with them all week. I didn't ask about swapping, and I didn't initiate anything. It's sort of Donna's call on that. I guess last New Year's was a one time affair, but I wouldn't count anything out in the future. At least I'm always open to the possibility as long as I don't do anything that makes Tonya feel bad.