The Bet

Then I realize, its against everything I fear. Hurt, agony, loneliness. Too many times in the past I fell for women who did not feel the same way. If I was to go along with this bet, it meant getting close. Sleeping with this individual required heavy conversation and getting to know one another. That is a danger zone with me. It left me completely vulnerable with a beautiful woman.

“I don’t think so,” I say. I watch as the girl turns her face to the side. Her low cut shirt is allowing me to have a slight view of cleavage. When I realize I am staring, I quickly revert my eyes.

“What do you have to lose?” Asks Monica.

“Everything.”

**************************************************

2 

“Okay, one more time. Why are we here?” Julie asks while sitting on the bar stool. She sips her orange juice on the rocks, hoping that they will leave soon. She has a thing about gay people. They tend to bother her a great deal. Being in the room was just making her queasy and nauseous .

“Because Kathy is a camel and has to piss every other second,” Jill answers. The six of them are all sitting in the middle of the bar, the only heterosexuals probably in the whole place. 

Hearing the conversation, Neve looks over and says, “Lets just stay awhile. I mean, we were going to the bar anyways.” 

Not happy with the situation, Julie asks, “do you realize that this is a GAY bar? None of us are gay Neve. We are definitely outcasts.”

While laughing, Jill looks over to Julie. “I don’t think anybody cares to be honest with you. The worst I would worry about is getting a phone number.” Neve chuckles and waves her hand to the bartender.

While Julie sits unhappily at the bar, a female approaches the counter. She has on tight boot cut jeans and a shirt that shows all of her eccentric curves. She is definitely giving off a sexy vibe.

For the slightest second, the girls arm touches Julies. She shudders, uncomfortable but excited. She never really touched women.

“Sorry,” she says to her. Julie was staring in her vivid blue eyes. They were a very deep color, but entirely noticeable. She knew that eyes like that were just uncommon. They contained so much depth and beauty.

Julie just nods her head at the apology. Talking to her would be too evident, especially with her being an outcast in such a provocative joint.

Julie looks around and sees Kathy walking up to them. While approaching she bursts, “There are two women screwing in the bathroom.” Neve begins to laugh her ass off.

3

“Are you gonna play tonight?” Asks Renee. I shake my head and say “Nah. Not tonight.” I know that she is giving me an unhappy look. I turn and find a very displeased face.

“I heard you playing the acoustic the other day. It sounded awesome. Just play that one song. What was it?” I smile as I watch Renee snapping her fingers, trying to recollect.

“When? Thursday in the back?” I ask. She must had been spying on me.

“Yeah,” she says. I give her a sarcastic grin.

“Outside by Staind,” I say. “Yeah,” she replies, remembering. “That sounded awesome. You should totally play that tonight.” 

I had been playing almost every night on stage. Renee being the owner, allows me to do just about whatever I want. She believes that I have real potential, and can turn my music into something great. 
One day she had found me outside of the bar, singing to a crowd of people. She had stood there and watched for about ten minutes. The next day she invited me on stage to sing. It was as simple as that.

After some time, Renee grew fond of me. She gave me the opportunity to play some of my own music and not just covers. I at one point felt romantically about her, but now just contain a great deal of respect. She has helped me out very much whenever I needed it.

In a way, I want to play tonight, but I feel unprepared. My hands are shaking, my mind is dysfunctional. Although, now that I was thinking about it, music always set me at ease. Maybe I should. 

Out of nowhere I see my guitar before me. Renee hands me a headset microphone. “No ifs, ands, or buts. Go sing it, before I kick you out of here.”

I laugh and hug her. She was too good.

“Are you gonna sing with me?” I ask. Renee has an awesome voice that I love, but never shows it off. 

“Probably not,” she says. I smile and reply, “Well, maybe you should.”

4

My hands always shake before I first walk out on the stage. I think about how many people are watching and staring at me. They will judge me on my every chord, every note. They will be mentally rating me on my voice, my appearance and my music. I felt powerful, yet weak. I had so much to gain, but so much to lose.

I know the song I am about to sing is not my best. I had only played it a few times for my own personal pleasure. My greatest hope is that I wont get booed off stage.

“Renee, I haven’t really rehearsed this on stage or anything.” I say nervously. She turns around and replies, “Just sing it like you did in the back. Trust me,” she whispers.

I watch her walk on the stage with the microphone. “I just want to know one thing real fast,” she says to the crowd. “Are you all having fun tonight at Renee’s Joint?” I hear half the bar start to yell. The lights are dim, and there is only a blue light in the middle of the stage.

“Okay, one more question. Are you all ready for Rachel Osgood?” I hear the crowd get louder while cheering for me. I smile, knowing which two people are the loudest.

I walk out on stage with a stool and sit down in the blue light. I adjust the headset so it is snug and the microphone is aimed at my mouth. Okay, we’re in business.

I persistently remind myself not to look at the crowd. It’s one of the hugest bars in Cincinnati, with enough dykes to start a rampage. If I look at them, I will surely walk behind the curtains.

I start the intro. Haven’t screwed up yet. So far, so good.

“And you,
Bring me to my knees.”

My voice hasn’t cracked, I’m not looking at people. It sounds good right now.

“And I leave my burdens out the door.”

Its going smoothly. My voice is gentle and seductive, yet captivating. I know it sounds good.

I think I can open my eyes now. 

“All this time
That I felt like this wont end
Was for you
And I taste
What I could never have
Its from you”

The passion in my voice is rising. I am too involved to worry about anything. There is only the music and I.

“But im on the outside,
And I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
‘Cause inside your ugly
Ugly like me.”

I look over and see Renee approaching from backstage. The crowd is screaming. I smile at her. She has her own guitar and begins singing backup.

“I can see through you, 
See to the real you.”

Here it comes. The most passionate part of the whole song.

“All the times
That I cried
All this wasting
Its all inside
And I feel 
All this pain
Stuffed it down
Its back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone, I can’t mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be okay.”

The crowd is getting louder. We are perfectly in harmony.

“I can see through you
See to the real you.”

The applause rise, the hands fly up. I’m exhilarated. We sounded flawless.