The Apartment on Tabor Road

I didn’t see Marco on Sunday. I laid out my game shorts just in case he decided to stop by. The following week I started work and didn’t get home most nights until 10:30, sometimes 11:00. On the following Wednesday my neighbor was out fiddling around under the hood of his car so I decided to walk over. “You must work a second shift” he stated. “I always see you sneaking in at this time.”

We talked for a few minutes about Lanh. He said she still wouldn’t let him put it in the back. “How are things with that girl I saw you with?”

“Josette is fine. She’s got studies.” He looked up at me briefly and stopped what he was doing, closed the hood and wiped oil from his hands on an old rag.

“You want to come up for a minute, maybe have a drink? Lanh is staying at her sister’s tonight. I’ve got juice or something stronger if you’d like.”

We ended up watching South Park, laughing like two college jocks. I found out that he and Lanh had been dating for three years, but that he didn’t think she was the one. He actually kept a very clean apartment, by then mine had already started to show signs of bachelordom.

After the show, he excused himself to shower but said I could relax and watch the second episode if I wanted. He had a flat screen TV, a comfortable sofa, cable and all the juice I could drink. He even offered to cook if I watched it with him the following night and I accepted the offer.

“You have to work in the morning so I’m going to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow night though.” We exchanged phone numbers.

The following night when I got home Marco wasn’t outside so I figured he’d bailed on the offer. His apartment was dark also. I was in my kitchen looking for the can opener when my phone rang. “The show’s about to start. Come on over, the door is open. I made a pork roast, potatoes, corn bread, and greens.”

“You trying to make soul food” I laughed, but was out the door in ten seconds.

“Hey. Try not to let Lanh see you. She wanted to come over but I told her I was going to turn in early.” I ran across the street and knocked on his door lightly. When I didn’t hear anything I pushed it slightly and it opened. At first I just stood there not sure of what to do when a man leaves his door open for you. I could hear Josette’s voice in my head saying that he was crazy. It was the smell of home cooking that actually pulled me inside. I could hear the shower in the other room so I closed the door behind me.

“Go ahead and fix yourself a plate Eric. I’ll be out in a minute.”

I was sitting down at the table enjoying some of the best greens I’d had in months when he came out of the bathroom. One towel around his waist, another used to dry his hair, the hair on his head curled a bit when wet, but on his chest seemed to straighten. I liked it. “You know, I slaved over the stove for you all evening” he said. “I even gave up some pussy, so now you owe me” he grinned and continued to buff his head. “You have to tell me everything you know.”

“Everything I know about what?”

“Anal sex. Give me the hookup.”

“What is it with you and that subject? Why do you think I know so much about it?”

“Well I figured since you’ve had sex with guys also you must know something about it.”

I stopped eating and wondered “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Sorry man it’s cool with me. You know, if you do I mean. Just be careful. You don’t want to get any diseases.”

”Marco I’m eating. I don’t want to talk about this.” Suddenly my confidence was blown. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what it was that gave me away. Did I walk with the sway, did I speak in a certain way, was that one shirt too sheer, or did I simply just look too queer? I don’t like green eggs and ham.

We didn’t see each other for a few days after that topic. Josette and I talked though and analyzed the whole thing. She kept telling me that I didn’t look gay at all, and that I was in fact rather butch. “You’re like one of those locker room jock guys. In fact why don’t you get him on the court this Sunday and show him what a fag can do” she said. “You’re better than you pretend to be. I’ll come watch and be a cheerleader.”

I thanked her but figured it’d be a lost cause. “Sides” I said “all this talk about anal is making me want some.” I logged on to my little pc around midnight and checked out Adam4Adam. There were a few messages from guys that I wrote to but never intended on meeting – the feeling was mutual, and there were the instant four or five messages from those who’d seen that I’d logged on. They were all my age or younger. I’d sent a few guys my number but hadn’t heard back, still I figured I’d try my luck.

I’d been on for about ten minutes when I got a call. A deep long breath. Then a deep voice on the other end asked what I was doing. I replied nothing, not sure of who it might have been. “Well I know exactly what you are doing, sitting in front of your computer in your little gray boxers eating a tuna sandwich! Isn’t that right Mike?” The phone went dead and I became petrified at the sound of a dial tone.

I dressed and immediately started to call Josette back. But, what was she going to do, drive in from the burbs, be scared half to death thinking that Kyle had somehow escaped prison? I knew it had to be someone I’d hooked up with online because I often used the name Mike. The phone rang again showing no ID, I didn’t answer and it rang only twice. Not knowing anyone else, I called Marco.

“Hey, what’s going on? Everything ok? You sound shaken.”

“I am a little. I just wanted to talk?” No ID showed up as an incoming call. “Say could I come over?” there was silence for a second.

“Um sure, just don’t let Lanh...” I was out the door before he’d finished his thought. I ran across the street half expecting to be blindsided by a history that was luckily not my own. I knocked on the door, and knocked again harder when I thought I saw a man in the shadows. He opened it and let me in.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes were wide and full of questions.

“There was some man on the phone and I think I saw someone in the bushes!” My words sounded as though the were all tied together in knots.

“What? Hold on.” Marco stepped out in his thin housecoat as I stood looking at the door which had closed behind him. The moments seemed to have stopped. I turned off the light and walked over to the window but didn’t see anyone.

“I didn’t see anyone.” Marco was back inside and I felt safe, he walked over and held me close, he held me and I was protected from the world it seemed. His rob slid over what had to have been naked skin underneath. It was warm. “You’re trembling he” he was saying. “Did some guy interrupt your tuna sandwich” he said laughing. I pushed away confused.

“Oh my God. I am so sorry. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d have known you’d get this scared.”

“What!” He practically had tears in his eyes at that point.

“Oh God, if you could only have seen the look on your face. I had to step outside to try not to laugh!”

“You. Were you looking in my window? Is that how you found out I was gay, you’ve been looking in my window?”

“No. No. Of course not.” He tried to calm down but it wasn’t working. “I saw some of the videos in one of the boxes when I helped you move in. I figured you liked both when I saw your girlfriend. And I heard you on the phone one night telling someone your name was Mark is all. I just” I headed toward the door feeling very outdone, humiliated, tired and defeated. “Wait. You’re not going to be mad I hope.”

“Forget it. I’m fine” he reached out and grabbed for my arm but his robe came untied and he tried to close it fearing I might try to get a peek at his massive straight man cock that he teased to much. I didn’t drop my eyes. “Do you have two phones” I asked. He held up one in his hand and pointed to another on the counter. The smirk on his face was dying, but it was evident that he found the entire bit very funny. Admittedly I had to laugh at myself once I got back to my own place.

The next day he came home for lunch and stopped by with a piece offering. It meant I didn’t have to go out before work so I was thankful for the thought. He asked more questions than I liked about my sex life but I decided to answer them in general as if I were writing a public service announcement. No, not all guys like to get fucked and those who do like it for the intense orgasm, no it doesn’t mean a guy has to be feminine. Then I made a bold move of my own “your awful curious. Why don’t I let you borrow one of those movies you must have been digging through and then you can see for yourself?” At first he said he didn’t want to, that his curiosity was only out of concern for a friend. After it was all said and done the protest ended and he borrowed two DVD’s which I’d edited down to favorite scenes. I had a feeling with all the stuff on the net, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen two guys doing it, but I played along.

“No big deal. Keep them as long as you want.”

That night when I got in from work he was waiting with the movies in the parking lot. “Here take this back. I don’t want Lanh finding them. Plus it’s too much.” I took the movies. “You want a snake? Lanh made spring roles and we still have some left.”

“That sounds good.” I smiled. We were standing very close, and he looked as though he wanted to ask me something but didn’t.

“Come on up for a second. We have to be quiet though because she’s already gone to bed.” It was around 11:30, so I was kind of surprised that he’d stayed up to wait for me on a night when his girlfriend was over. We tipped up the metal stairs trying not to make a lot of noise. He hummed the theme from the Pink Panther and even held my hand at one point when we were under the cover of shadow. His hands were strong. I thought back to how he’d practically made me crap my pants, his body had felt warmly familiar behind that robe.

He was going through the fridge and asked if I was allergic to peanuts. “Lanh puts a lot of peanuts in the plum sauce.”

“That’s fine. I like nuts.”

I noticed a photo album sitting on the bar and flipped through it. I think he must have left it out on purpose. Inside there was a photo of him and some guy, in places like Las Vegas, Niagara Falls, and on three occasions I recognized the cabin shares on the Lake about forty five minutes North of where we were. Most of the pictures were from when he was in his twenties, after that the guy seemed to be absent. On one page he pointed out a couple of clippings from a modeling gig he’d done for a male clothing catalog. “What’s this from” I wanted to know.

“Lanh doesn’t know about that. International Male. I used to be interested in acting, modeling, working out all the time, you know. That was like 18 years ago. I must have been around your age. Check this out.” He moved and our shoulders pressed together. I was confident that a man claiming to have been featured in IM wasn’t squeamish about contact with another male. “I wanted you to see this.” Marco peeled away one of the pages. Behind it he had clips from an underwear ad. “No padding in that one” he boasted.

“So. I’ve seen this. They still use it” the outline of the man’s penis was almost pornographic if a little thought was put into it. “Are you saying this is you?” He then smiled and pulled up his shirt to show his stomach. I thought he was going to drop his pants or something but he didn’t.

“Feel that.” He took my hand and placed it on his abs. They were firm, but I didn’t make the connection to the photo until he took my finger and traced his naval. It was the same upside down smile of a button featured in the photo.