Talk about Heaven reviews
Needs a bit of work with a grammar book and spell checker -- paragraphs way too long -- better handling of dialogue -- nice try.
your getting better at your storys! I agree with LucQuarm on the grammer and spelling, but i think it was a great story either way.
damn that was pretty good. I dont care about writin style - that was good. Shame you didnt age the girls but cool all the same. Thanks
Nice Story a few errors but other wise reall good.
Nice Story.I did see a few Errors.Other wise im impressed with the story
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After school on the day that I had my first girl on girl encounter with beautiful Becky I was at home alone in my bedroom and all I could think about was her... |
Stories By Niche:
- indian
- short
- ghost
- porn
- scary
- bedtime
- bdsm
- spanking
- adult
- inspirational
- funny
- love
- xxx
- cuckold
- hot
- bondage
- motivational
- horror
- moral
- black
- romantic
- bible
- wedgie
- femdom
- real wife
- diaper
- sissy
- mind control
- gangbang
- milf
- threesome
- success
- female masturbation
- christmas
- foot fetish
- erotica
- bullying
- dirty
- naughty
- taboo
- fuck
- blowjob
- facesitting