The Screw Driver

Joe and I went to a large west Texas dance hall. Now there are some things you are not supposed to do in dance halls but if you know which policemen and women are on duty and pay attention to the time you can do a lot. We talked to the other Joe, the bartender and told him of an idea we had. He stroked his crotch a time or two and walked off. Joe asked, "Why didn't he answer?"
"He did. He just speaks a different language."

We went in to the back room and stripped naked and while we waited for some others to come in we started stroking our dicks. We had a five gallon bucket we were going to try to see how full we could get it. However full it was we would mark it with a majic marker and date it then later see if anyone could break the record.

We noted the time and started talking to each other about various sexual items and positions and soon we shot off a pretty good load in the bucket.Two girls came in and started sucking our dicks and jerking them selves and in a little bit they dropped a good shower in the bucket. Four gay guys came along and wanted us to do them so we grabbed their dicks and jacked them off. Three or four other girls came by and then the evening patrol came in and Clint said, "Annie here thinks you would do better if you brought in a mule and a horse to help out."
I asked her, "Would you jack the mule off?"
She said "I would if you will do Clint at the same time."

The other Joe went down to his dads barn and came back with three mules and two horses. "Theres goats and dogs down there too if we need them."
While Annie was stroking the mule I grabbed Clint's dick and started stroking him. There were four other guys there I did not know either jacking off or getting jacked off. The gay guys came back with about a dozen more and they were all watching closely as the mule shot a huge stream in the bucket and Annie screamed,"WOW! LOOK AT IT! IT'S A FUCKING GEYSER!

All the queers were stroking and watching and then Pinkie, a redheaded one came and asked, "What are you going to do with it at four o'clock?" Which was the time we had agreed to stop, having started at four P.M.
I looked at Joe and winked and thought real fast.
I said, "After we mark it and record the results we will auction it to you queers. Highest bidder gets it!"
"Gee Tex, can't you ever call us gay guys?"
"Look Pinkie. I am from west Texas, you know oilfields, pipelines, power lines, beer joint brawls, stuff like that."

"Oh yes I know! One time Carmen and I went to work on a drilling rig. Those guys sure did take good care of us, only the driller finally came and said we would have to change to the evening tower and then the morning tower because they were getting jealous and he didn't want any fighting over who got to fuck us and who got blowjobs. Carmen said we would just stay there if someone would bring us some food. He and I stayed there a whole month until they finished that well and then we spent three nights with the night watchman. It was so lovely! You know there was a guy there that had two brothers named Paul. It was Paul and his other brother Paul. Paul and Paul would help fill this bucket. When they shot off in our mouth it was all Carmen or I could do to swallow it all, and Carmen has a bigger mouth than I have. Oh I miss them so!"

We still had another hour to go before four o'clock and Joe led the mules back in and the night patrol came along and jacked them off. They were both female and they asked what we were going to do with it just like the queer guys did. I told them and they said it was not fair! They should get a chance at it as well and then one called some other lesbians and in a short time there were at lesst twenty of them there shooting off into the bucket. I said, "Okay. If you want to get in on the bidding you have to jack off ten goats and five dogs into it. But you have to hurry you only have thirty minutes."

The other Joe went and got the goats and he said there are only three dogs but he had a pig. I told him a pig would work as well.
Those women went to work and did those goats in the wink of an eye and then realizing that goats are almost as quick as rabbits they did them all again. They finished off the pig at exactly four A.M.
Joe and I measured it and weighed it and marked the bucket.

I told them we would start the bidding at $100.00 and go in one dollar increments until it was son.The females finally won it at $305.00. I asked what they were going to do with it and they said they were going to pour a bottle of everclear and a gallon of orange juice in it and have a cum screw driver, and split it with the gay guys. I split the $305 with Joe and Joe and then said, "I have not had enough to drink tonight to even watch that!"

The other Joe said, "dad said they could use his barn since I have to get the doors locked on this place before the day watch comes on. he'll probably slip down there and fuck some of them, male and female. Moms in Arkansas visiting."