Shelly Part 3 Confessions

A few days went by, then a week. Megan never called me back. I tried to get up the nerve to call her, but talked myself down each time. On Wednesday, two weeks after Halloween, Rachel called to ask me if I wanted to go out Saturday night. I was surprised but glad to hear that Megan planned to be there. “Oh, and by the way, it’s my birthday,” she added. “I’m turning twenty-one. We’ll come pick you up.”

I pushed back my hair and pocketed my cell phone with a sense of relief that maybe things were going to be normal again. “I need to get a gift,” I said to my reflection in the mirror on the back of the closet door. I wondered what Rachel would want. Did she like jewelry? Clothes? A bigger problem was that I didn’t know where to go to shop for those things. I pulled out my phone and looked at it. “Just do it,” I said. I looked up Megan’s number and resolutely pressed the call button.

“Hi, Shelly,” Megan said when she picked up. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

I realized that I had been holding my breath and let it go. “No, I’m not mad, but it seemed like you were avoiding me. Are you okay?”

“I think so,” she said, then made an angry sound. “I’m so fucking selfish. You’re the one that went through hell. I should be asking you that.”

“I’m fine now. You and Rachel helped me out a lot. Listen, I’ve got a favor to ask you. I need to buy a present for Rachel and I don’t know what she likes or where to go.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said. “I’ll come get you right now if that’s alright.”

She was waiting for me in her white Taurus by the time I had gotten ready and walked to the parking lot. It seemed as though she was prettier than before, but I knew that it must just be that it had been two weeks since I had seen her last. “Where are we going?” I asked as I strapped myself in.

“Downtown,” she said. “Maybe a couple of places.” She smiled wistfully. “It’s really good to see you. I’m glad that I got some time to myself to think, but I missed you guys a lot.”

She pulled the car out into the street and we coasted along the sea cliffs towards the freeway. I watched her from the corner of my eye, slowly building up my courage. “Araceli came to see me.” There, I had said it.

Her tone betrayed nothing. “Really? No one else has seen her since that night.”

“She wanted me to tell you that she was sorry. She felt really bad about what she did.”

Megan didn’t say anything, just kept her eyes on the road and blinked a few times. I turned to look out the window. Maybe now hadn’t been the best time to bring up the subject. There was a touch on my arm.

“Thank you for telling me,” Megan said hoarsely. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes irritably.

Our first stop was a jewelry store. I followed Megan around on a quick tour of the store that took us right back out again. “We can do better than that,” she said. “Come on, there’s an imports store I want to check out.”

I wondered if the plan had suddenly changed, but once we went in, I understood. 
exotic furniture rested on a floor covered with intricately woven Asian and Middle Eastern rugs. Jewelry cases flanked one wall. One piece in particular caught my eye, a necklace of oblong topaz stones and one larger, teardrop-shaped stone, all linked together by silver chain. It looked like something that an ancient queen might wear. Not to mention, topaz was Rachel’s birthstone. “Wow,” Megan commented. “That one’s incredible. Hey, can we see this one?”

The owner, a stoutly-built Indian man, brought out the necklace and held it out for me. “It is Turkish,” he said. “Pretty, wouldn’t you say?”

“How much?” I asked. I had my credit card, but my mother was supposed to take care of paying it off. She wouldn’t like it if I spent too much.

“Three-hundred fifty,” the man said. “Would you like it?”

“Oh,” I groaned. “I think that’s a bit beyond my means.”

“Shut up,” Megan said, punching my arm. “I’ll pay half of it. Will that work?”

At first I didn’t know what to say and just stood there rubbing my arm. “No way.”

“Hey, I’ve got the money for it. The fact that you were even looking at that tells me you have some money too. If you can’t cover the rest, just tell me and we’ll forget about it.”

It was a bit more than I was used to spending on anyone, but I thought that my mother would probably let it go. “You know what? I think I do want to get it. But do you really think she’ll like it?”

“Will you shut up?” Megan drawled, grabbing me by my sore arm and dragging me towards the counter. “It’s exotic and beautiful and it came from you. She’ll love it.”

I thought we would be heading back, but Megan brought us to a clothing store instead. She wandered around, holding up different outfits and asking my opinion. Together, we decided upon a blue miniskirt and blouse and then strapless green dress. “I’m so going to get her to wear this on Saturday. Here, get out the necklace and hold it up to it.” It took me a minute, but I did as she asked. “See, gorgeous. Oh, I’m definitely going to get her a makeover, too. This is going to be so fucking awesome.” She threw her arms around me and squeezed tightly, but released me again and made for the checkout counter before I could react. The scent of her lingered, feminine and alluring. I wanted more of it.

As we walked out into the fading light, I felt lighter, as if all of the worry and fear had released their hold on me at once. I couldn’t remember ever seeing Megan as buoyantly happy up until that moment. Back at the car, Megan surprised me once more. Rather than heading back toward the freeway, she turned the car towards the foothills. The road was steep and narrow, winding past the driveways of multi-million dollar homes that perched on the slope.

She pulled the car over into the dirt and shut off the ignition. The sound of crickets chirping came through her door as she opened it. “Come on out,” she said. “I want to show you something.”

In the near-dark, I could just make out the lighter patch that defined a trail that climbed the hillside next to us. I balked. “It’s getting dark, Megan. We could get hurt.”

“I’ve got a flashlight for when we climb back down, but I don’t want ruin our night vision. Just trust me.”

Knowing that I wasn’t likely to get anywhere arguing with her, I began to climb. Nothing grew on the hillside except for what was now dried, yellow grass. Glancing back, I could see that we were getting up above the treetops. I was panting by the time I reached the top and sat down on a wide, flat rock next to Megan. Looking down, I understood why she wanted me to come here. The whole city was spread out before us, streetlights glowing white amidst the flickering lines of light that marked streets and highways. Further out, the ocean glowed deep red with the last, fading rays of the sunset.

“Worth the climb, isn’t it?” Megan whispered. Her hand rested on mine. Slowly, her fingers curled around my hand. The touch sent a thrill of anxiety and longing through me. I didn’t move, worried that she might sense the churning in my stomach, the pounding of my heart.

Megan continued in the same low voice. “I used to live around here. My father used to bring me up here sometimes and we would just sit and stare at the city and the stars. When the moon is full in the south, you can see its reflection in the water. Some nights, the water is so calm that it looks like there are two moons. Those nights felt like magic. I haven’t been up here in eight years, not since he died. You’re the first person I’ve showed it to, Shelly.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said, still taking it all in. The air was beginning to chill, but I could feel the warmth radiating from Megan's body sitting next to me.

“So are you,” she said, so quietly that this time I wasn’t sure I had really heard it. I turned to see her looking at me. Starlight shone in her eyes. “I feel like such a fool, Shelly. I told myself that I needed to wait, that it was too soon to start falling in love again.”

My heart raced even faster. “What are you saying?” I hedged.

Her fingers lifted and alighted on my cheek, traced across the curved of my jaw, my lips. “Don’t you feel it, Shelly, when we’re together?”

This couldn’t be happening to me. I’d somehow gone and led Megan to believe something that simply couldn’t be possible. Even Araceli had gotten the wrong impression about me. “I like you as a friend,” I said mechanically. “You’re a good friend.”

Her finger touched my lips and then traced its way down the side of my neck, sending warm prickles of sensation down into my stomach. I saw her lean towards me, watched her eyes close and her head tilt ever so slightly to one side. Her lips touched mine and pressed against soft, yielding flesh. Nothing about it was real. Nothing made sense.

My eyes were still open as she slowly drew back. First confusion, and then hurt, crossed her face. “You don’t want this, do you?”

I pulled my hand away from hers and wiped the moisture from my lips, from the spot where she had kissed me. “I’m not a lesbian,” I said. “I can’t be with you, Megan. Not like that.”

“You mean you won’t,” Megan amended. She didn’t sound angry with me. She just sounded disappointed, sad even. “Come on, I’ll take you home."