Poonan the Barbarian

Aeons ago, before the dawn of science, before the great ice melted, there was the Forgotten Age. The majority of the earth was covered by a desolate Wasteland. You could walk for hundreds of miles and see nothing but wasteland.

But there was one speck of civilization in this nothingness. The noble kingdom of Maedan, mankind's last defense against anarchy, ruled by the warrior-king Aloric.

So there was the Wasteland covered in snow. And there was Maedan. Poonan's village was a tiny outpost ravaged by the blizzards that haunt the border of Maedan.

He was a protector, and he was a barbarian, this Poonan. No one knew of his lineage. Townspeople boasted that he holds discourse with magicians and noblemen. Especially shrouded in mystery was his cock, Triple Excalibur. Some spoke of a limp bulge that traveled from his crotch to the bottom of his robe, and this was said to be Triple Excalibur in its flacid state.

One morning when the skies were unusually bright, Poonan was chopping wood by his home. Without warning a gloomy rider clad in violet galloped through the settlement and approached Poonan.

"Greetings, Poonan the Barbarian." The rider made a formal gesture with his hands.

"Greetings, Rembus the Virgin Magician," Poonan replied politely.

"No more..." Rembus threw back his hood to reveal a red, sweaty face that looked as though it had just experienced a great ecstasy.

"What tidings are these?" Poonan asked with distress. He clutched his axe tightly as if guarding against an unseen enemy.

"Listen well, Poonan, and you shall hear a magnificent story. Deep within the heart of Maedan in its capital city of Xanadu is the throne of the noble king Aloric.

"Aloric was once an upstanding ruler, unmatched for his generosity and bravery, his shrewd ability to handle the internal affairs of Maedan. Alas, I fear his mind is now imprisoned by a force that only wishes for the destruction of Maedan and the suffering of its people.

"Theera the Prostitute, a powerful sorceress, has seduced Aloric and enslaved him with her sexual magic. She begs him to take her for his bride and make her Queen of Maedan. He resists this with all his will, but her private regions hold an unearthly allure to which he keeps returning.

"So he has proclaimed a contest. Each man of the kingdom may try to make Theera the Prostitute come to orgasm. If a man succeeds he may claim Theera as his bride. But if no contestant succeeds, Aloric will marry Theera."

Poonan's eyes widened. "How did you respond to this?"

"I tried... and failed." Rembus lowered his eyes. The loss of his virginity began to reenact itself in his mind. Rembus put his hand to his crotch and stroked himself over his purple rainments.

"Stop that," Poonan demanded. "Tell me what transpired."

"Theera is... unimaginably beautiful. As soon as I entered her chamber and saw her spread apart all naked, my garment did flood with precum. I ran to her stripping off my clothes along the way and jumped on her naked body. As soon as my stiffy touched her hot vulva all coated with honey, it began to oscillate wildly. Clutching my ass, she thrust me into her softness..."

"What then?" asked Poonan.

Rembus sighed. "Her tightness coerced me to extremely premature ejaculation..."

Poonan glanced at the pelvic region of Rembus. A woody was poking from his garments, and a thick stream of jizz had made its way onto the snowy ground.

"Enough!" shouted Poonan. "I shall tame this fickle sorceress mine self!"

Poonan ran to his stable away from Rembus's sight. After a while he reappeared before Rembus riding a majestic black horse. He saluted Rembus and began riding to Xanadu.

It was a long and fearsome trek. Poonan faced the perils of winter while outside Maedan and the treachery of thieves in the city. Finally he reached the palace of the famous king Aloric.

Making his way up the golden steps of Aloric's palace, Poonan arrived at the Emerald Throne. Aloric sat there, head resting on the lap of Theera who sat beside him.

Poonan kneeled. "Hail Aloric, Lord of Maedan, master over the Wasted Lands, Protector of the World."

Theera stroked Aloric's hair. Aloric tried to speak but could not. Theera replied to Poonan.

"Hail Poonan, who is hung like seven giants, whose reputation and Triple Excalibur precede him."

She was marvelous to behold. A tall tan body with enormous naked breasts. The nipples were hard with perpetual excitement. Her long black hair flowed down to her ass which was still visible beneath a thin black tapestry of lace. Indeed, her slightly wet pussy had caught the attention of Poonan's wandering eye, as the lace garment barely covered it. Theera's most alluring feature was certainly her eyes, which teased Poonan to no end whenever he met their gaze.

"I am here to try my hand at making you orgasm, my Lady!" he proclaimed.

"Then let us to Aloric's chamber. Come." She led the way.

"Nay, you are the one who shall come," said Poonan.

They arrived at the intricately carved wooden door. "Wait here," ordered Theera. She slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. Poonan waited for a minute or so, and the doors abruptly opened by a secret mechanism of their own.

Poonan walked carefully into the room, making sure not to destroy any of Aloric's valuable collection of porcelain. To be ready for Theera's onslaught, he took Triple Excalibur out of its scabbard. It was a mighty penis, several feet in length, hard from the thought of Theera in her nude state.

Poonan approached the canopied bed. He noticed a beautifully curved figure naked inside a white sheet. Removing the white sheet, he saw Theera. Moaning, she spread her legs apart, welcoming Poonan.

Poonan looked at the naked spot between her legs, moist with a feminine goo. A strange magic seemed to flow from here. It seemed to wrap itself around Triple Excalibur, squeezing it for all it was worth.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaowrl!" Poonan jizzed.

Theera looked at him with disdain. "Pathetic," she sniffed. "Even that loser-boy Rembus lasted enough to penetrate me. The mighty Poonan, ha!"

So Poonan did not end up marrying Theera. Instead he married a nice girl from his village. She was loving, intelligent, and hardworking--everything Poonan could want in a wife. Aloric ended up escaping the mental prison Theera had set for him, and banishing Theera from Maedan. She married a farmer in the Wasteland.