Peter Cooper's Cock-Loving Co-Worker

This is a story about a man, a man named Peter R. Cooper. Peter is a 26 year old financial consultant. He works in a large multi-storeyed building in downtown Memphis, Tennessee. Peter has luscious wavy brown hair, a long smooth nose, two eyes, firm buttocks, two large bollocks, and a rigid 14 inch monster dick. Peter is a fan of erotic movies, baseball, pirates, homeless people, and the mighty Red Army.

One day, whilst Peter was fulfilling his daily torture of working, he noticed a very attractive woman walk into his office. He immediately grew a mighty erection. The attractive woman, whose name is Frances heard the continuous knocking of his slippery snake, pulsating up against the top of his work desk. She was very aroused, and leaked juices in her panties. She ‘accidently’ dropped her papers, and bent over in front of Peter to pick them up. She then heard a ‘UHHH, OHHH SHIT, CRAP, UNNNGGHHHHH’ from behind her, and then a sickening squishing sound as Peter struggled to clean up the mess inside his pants. Peter was very embarrassed at his premature ejaculation, and turned as red as the scattered entrails of a freshly burst hamster. He yelled at Frances. He yelled “I’M JUST A MAN, A MAN TRYING TO DO HIS JOB”. Later, the two went home together in Peters 1988 Buick Century. After they exited Peter’s vehicle, the car stank of freshly ejaculated semen.

They had a delicious meal of fried bacon and olives, before deciding to go out on the town, and get trolleyed. After going to several well known bars and consuming vast amounts of alcohol, they decided to go to a dance club. After dancing to the beats for a few hours, they started to get aroused. They slowly stripped naked and began boinking on the dance floor. The bouncers noticed, so they immediately pushed their way through the dancing masses of normal partygoers, and joined in with Peter and Frances. Before long, everyone in the club was involved is a massive, smelly orgy. It was ‘Boil Up’ night at that club, and there were heaps of boiled fruits and veges lying around. At one point in the orgy, Peter felt someone insert something into his anus. It was a boiled carrot. Peter reached in and removed the steamed vegetable from his buttocks, before eating it, and continuing with the sexual festivities. The next morning, the cleaners had a horrible time, cleaning litres of dried semen off the dance floor. 

The next night, before Frances ‘came’ over to Peter’s house, he prepared himself. He showered, and then shaved his small sensitive balls to make his johnson look bigger. It worked, as Peter had a very hairy groin. It made his already huge dick, look even bigger. Peter gave himself a quick pole polishing and then prepared dinner, with his unwashed hands. Soon Frances arrived. She was looking very hot, as she was naked. Frances needed to use the bathroom before dinner, so she went in and locked the door tight. As she sat on the toilet, she felt something move on the toilet. She jumped up and turned around. The toilet, which had somehow become possessed by her dead husband of three years, had sprouted a long orange penis. The toilet said “Hello Frances, its Mike, your dead lover, lets do the bad thing one last time.” So Frances rode the toilets dick with her fanny, until the toilet blew its load, deep inside her womb. (Sidenote : Seven months later, Frances gave birth to the ugliest babies you had ever seen. Half human, half toilet. Horrible.) 

Later, after a delicious dinner of apricots and beans, Frances and Peter decided to watch some pornography. They watched Butt Detective 2 and Penises On Ice. As they were having heterosexual intercourse after watching the two dirty movies, a pelican flapped into the living room, where the two were mating. The pelican got insanely aroused by the two’s passionate moans, thus it decided to join in the action. The pelican, whose name was Pelican, lubed up his beak and rammed it into Frances’s emergency exit. Pelican thrust his beak to the melodic moans of Frances’s lovemaking. Peter saw what Pelican was doing, and yelled “FIE ON YOU, JEZEBEL”. This enraged Pelican, who beat Peter to death with his large, wet, beak. After killing Peter, Pelican and Frances went back to making love, whilst Peter’s corpse watched intently. 

The next morning, Frances bent it like Beckham once again, and they had ravage sodomous sex. Five months later, Pelican and Frances got married. The marriage was condemned by the Church of England, as it was between a woman and a sea-bird. After their wedding, they moved to California, where Pelican became the next Arnold Schwarzenegger and made millions of dollars before becoming the Governor of California. Pelican’s rule was one of torture and intense hatred and he was eventually killed by a mob of angry black people. He was 57 years old.