One Way of Change

My name is Chris, also known as CeTe. Some of you will remember me by the great number of Zoostories and Zooguides I published around the year 2000. You can read them still today in many zoophile story archives. The others will get to know me here and now cos I want to write about how I changed from the born zoo I was ino the faithful husband who I am.

About my past

My past tells the story of the man named Christian T. I was born as the only son of an american G.I. and his german wife. Little Chris was still a child when he found he was different. Certain sexual traumata during those early years taught me, "I love animals cos I know men."

That was a bitter recognition after suffering some hard experience I swear you will never want to share! However, it was that early abuse shaping my further life. And so, by turning away from man and turning towards the animal, I became the zoo CeTe.

The years went by , I worked here and there, and when I was in my thirties, I decided to tell the world the story of my life. Some real adventures I passed through. You might have read them already. But as the saying goes, "Everything comes to an end." And my own unhappy ending was the county jail.

A couple of years later, and I was free again. Now I followed my old footsteps and got a new pet. Whether Caesar the lion, Tom the cat, or Inu my last dog, they all gave me the true love I needed in life. Alll that could have gone on forever, and yet everything went different.

About my change

Then I met Bill. He was different, he was honest, he was kind. We fell in love. It was the first time in my long life I felt that true love - to a human being. But I concealed my zoophile past. Instead, I underwent a psychological therapy.

Dr D. was the one who said I had got a borderline personality. "Great, I am a borderliner," I thought by myself, but his medical diagnosis explains both my bold acts with some dangerous beasts and my old weakness for the extreme. Furthermore, he saw the cause of these inclinations in my childhood saying, "Thank God, Mr Tanner, that you have not become a sexual predator as well!"

The most effective form of therapy for a man like me having borderline is the dialectical behavorial therapy created by Marsha Linnehan. But what is dialectic?

The theroy of dialectic says to find the truth one have to make the solution between two apparent contradictions, that is the synthesis of the thesis and the antithesis. So it also says the middle way beween two opposite ways is often the true way. Its result is called the coincidence of opposites.

I knew by own experience of its reliability. For in my former life, for instance, I had been a rather conservativce Catholic Christian. And I had trouble with accepting my innate homosexuality. The consequent way to solve that problem would have been to leave the church at all and to become an atheist like Richard Dawkins. Yet I went another way. I solved my problem dialectically. By converting from Catholicism to Protestantism cos the Protestant Church allows to be gay. And this way, I made peace with my homosexual nature without losing my deep faith in Jesus.

Now the present problem consisted of my love of animals against my love towards my human partner. It took quite a long time tilI I learned how to be a zoo and a boyfriend. I got that by living up to my sexuality together with my partner without any taboos, realizing all my intimate dreams only with him. Meanwhile, I questioned my zoophile thoughts and asked myself why I thought so or so and in which way I would live those ideas with Bill instead. I began seeing animals with a new sight. They had ever been the better men for me cos their affections are straighter than the humans´. On the other hand, these feelings do not go as deep as they go in man. I ended in loving the animal without my past sexual desire, concentrated on desiring Bill merely.

After the first year of our relationship, I could no longer hide my secret from my fiancé. I revealed it to Bill. And he, he took it. Bill said, "Never will you betray me with a dog, my dear, and never will I betray our love." I was the luckiest man in the world.

About my present

I have the luck to live in a country where zoophilia is legal. So we are lucky that this country makes it possible for two men of the same sex to marry. Today my husband and I live in love, and we even own a cat I love as well. But I do not wish to make love to it any more but theonly one I have sex with is Bill my man.

About my future I cannot tell anything yet cos God knows what comes. Bill and me, we live our life in love. Now that I haven changed, now that I am not a zoo any longer, now I wil not tell you to do it my way. I just want to show you one way of change. Cos there are more ways to live and love. Zoophile and homophile. You can love animals and men. It does not make a difference. It is alright. The only thing that matters is how you fulfill your own dreams the way you wish.