No more Confessions

It was late evening when stef was taking a glass of white wine. She couldn’t stop thinking… Juanita had abruptly stopped talking to her and it just broke her inside. The girls had gotten into a fight as Juanita was not feeling comfortable at all and the whole thing seemed akward and strange to her.

Stef was crushed. The girls had remained best friends but Juanita acted as if nothing had happened between them at the club that night or at the beach or at her house. It killed stef inside that she lost everything in just a matter of days. It was a Saturday night and both girls had agreed to go clubbing. It had been a few week since Juanita broke things off and apparently she found a new squeeze.

So she decided to go clubbing and asked stef to join her. Stef was heartbroken, when she heard jua talking about this new boy she wished they were still together, still being unaware of the world around them, that they still held hands and that stef would wake up in the mornings finding a sleeping goddess next to her.

Stef controlled herself, she heard jua go on and on about her new crush and how cute he was and she wished he could stay longer, all stef could think about was how beautiful jua was looking or how her voice made her get unexplained shivers. The girls were to meet at about 10 40, stef decided to go to a bar and drink. She didn’t care how, but she wanted to drink. She didn’t want to remember the heartache that had consumed her lately.

Drink she did. They had met with stefs friends and then stef had taken a whole pitcher of vodka redbull and she felt really high. She started to dance like a boy and frankly she didn’t give a damn. Juanita had gone with her crush, a blonde hunk with blue eyes who treated jua right.

So stef wasn’t worrying as such, she was smoking a lot of cigarettes and in the haze of the club she saw Juanita kiss him. Stef felt a tang, she saw juanitas hand run through his hair, she saw his hands around her, she saw them making out in the middle of the dance floor. Stef felt the whole world dissolve like a puff of smoke.

She tried to find someone to kiss but they all pushed her away and stef decided she’d have to suck it up. On the bus ride home, stef told Juanita she was happy for her, but her heart was screaming for Juanita to realize she was still in love with her.

Two weeks later.

Jua’s crush had gone back to his native country, Juanita was pretending not to care but stef saw the pain in her eyes, the hurt in her walk, the slight pause to answer a question. Juanita was stuck in time, she never stopped thinking about him. Stef knew, she knew that she would never get her back as she knew jua had used her somehow, because she didn’t talk to stef the same way she did before.

Stef loved Juanita enough to respect her opinion and likes but she knew she only wanted Juanita, Juanita only wanted him and no one else. It was strange, both girls felt the same thing, but the feeling was not mutual from both parties. But stef couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t stop remembering it just killed her that Juanita was feeling the exact same feelings, but the feelings weren’t for her.

Stef was num, no feelings could describe what she was feeling. She had cut off smoking , she was drinking more. Only the day before stef had drunk wine mixed with cola, vodka mixed with orange, Malibu and orange and then a vodka coke. She sang mournful love songs in the middle of the streets and the even went to where Juanita lived just to see the light turn off in her bedroom, remembering what happened in that bedroom and how she was the happiest girl on earth.

Stef didn’t want to show Juanita she was still in love with her. So she just kept on drinking, she even met some girls, made them scream abit, licked them abit , caressed them a bit but she was feeling nothing. Every night there would be a new girl who would remind her of Juanita, and sometimes, she would her home and make love to her and stef would pretend its Juanita.

There was one girl in particular who was the exact build of Juanita and whilst she was licking stef’s vagina, stef moaned nin… not that the other girl noticed as she was drunk as hell. Stef just couldn’t take it any longer. She got off the bed, and got her mobile and phoned Juanita, who answered after 10 rings. Stef told her she needed to talk to her, face to face.

20 mins later stef was in front of Juanita’s house. Jua opened the door and stef just hugged her, she felt Juanita squirm and she moved back and she kissed jua on the forehead kissed her nose and kissed her on her lips one last time. She said “ im always yours, know that” and with that stepped away, started her vespa and drove to the cliffs, she ran to the Cliffside and she saw Juanita look at her and whisper to her….

That’s when stef knew… that Juanita was hers no more. Stef quietly drove to a guy club, she bought a beer and sat down, that’s when a girl slowly started dancing in front of her. Stef had said her last confession to Jua, so she decided to just move on, the girl sat down on stef, her face facing stefs.

And slowly put her hand on stefs boobs and kissed her neck. Stef felt herself wanting to just go somewhere with this girl. The stripper looked at stef in a very non stripper like way. Stef realized that this girl needed love. The love that Juanita threw away would become this girls. Stef lifted the girl, still facing her, and she put her down gently, she leaned over and whispered in the girl’s ear. “ Hey, im stef, come away with me…..

Stef woke up, having a nightmare about Juanita, she was sweating profusely. She was in her bed, she looked around and it was around mid day judging by the light in the room. She was hangover, she felt her head ready to explode, every word she mumbled made her head ache. She looked at the bottles that were on the floor.

She decided to make herself some tea, as she didn’t feel like eating anything. She heard a some music coming in from underneath some bottles, it was her cell and it was playing some music, she looked at the screen. She saw the words Quaterfish and Harden my Heart. The she felt some hands on her back, going down to her lower back, she felt lips on her neck and she felt the hands go near her panties, then the panties slid around her and were going to touch her vagina, but those hands never went there, instead they went to her neck and then the hands turned her around and she found Juanita looking at her, naked, then Juanita kissed her---- but it wasn’t Juanitas lips that touched hers, they tasted different and they were more full.

Stef broke the kiss and she found the stripper from the night before in front of her. Then she stripper pressed herself against stef, pushing her on a chair and started to grind on her slowly. Then she slowly started to pant, stef felt dazed, disorientated, next thing she knew, the girl was drinking from a bottle of jack, and passed the bottle to stef.

Stef felt the girl grind seductively on her, she felt the girl tremble, the saw her face and she saw the girl cry. Suddenly stef held her, looked into her eyes and asked what was wrong. But the girl just went down and started eating stef out, stef felt herself getting heated up, she felt the girls hand run along her body, she felt the girls hand harden her nipples.

The girl remained down there no matter how much stef protested, stef came over and over again and the girl kept moaning… but stef knew that the girl was getting tired. Then she just held the girls face, and she was looking at her, the girl was expecting stef to make her her sex slave but stef just brought the girls face closer to hers and she kissed her ever so gently, and then she carried her, the same way she carried Juanita and she took her to the shower, they didn’t make love, yet the girl rested her head on stefs shoulder as water flowed over them.

Then stef cooked some breakfast for them. The girl kept following stef everywhere, asking if she wanted more sex or some licking or some playing. Stef kept on smiling and with each reply told her no but gave her a smile.

Stef found out the girls name was jo, and that she worked as a stripper in the local gay club and that she was a prostitute as well. Stef sat down at the table and jo just sat on her, and snuggled into stefs neck and sighed contedetly. Stef asked about her and why she was always following her around and jo said she was grateful she wasn’t being a sex slave to some sleazy old man.

She told stef she had experiences with other women but that stef was the most caring and most romantic one yet. Stef looked at her after jo had kissed her so passionately stef thought her lips were going to fall off. Jo went on to describe how last night stef had given a piggy back ride back to the flat.

How she slowly kissed jo until jo just got so aroused she stripped stef jeans off and licked her so hard that stef came whilst standing up. She then told stef how stef had slowly held her in her arms whilst naked in bed… and she had told her of buying a small flat in paris and they would live together.

Whilst jo told her how when she tried to do the 69 position with stef stef just turned her around, and kissed her and told her she didn’t have to do that if it made her uncomfortable. Stef realised she thought jo was Juanita. Jo described some moves stef made with her ( reversed cowboy like position but they just kissed slowly, kissing her shoulder blades then messaging her back and messaging her neck.) stefs heart felt a pang… as if a dart has just been pierced through.

Those were the things she used to do to Juanita. Stef felt like crying. She found the bottle and took a long swig and just turned around. Jo realised she had said something that might have made stef feel bad. So she just put her arms around stef. Stef felt jos boobs pressing against her arm and she thought of how juanitas boobs were so perfect.

She hadn’t made love to jo in her mind, she had loved Juanita. That’s when stef realised, she only took jo home because she was drunk as hell and thought it was Juanita on her back, Juanita in her bed, Juanita seductively dancing for her. Stef knew it wasn’t her, but she still imagined it.

She felt guilty at making jo her rebound, but she would never go back to Juanita, she would grow to love jo, and she would move on from the girl who ripped her hearts to shreds. Once and for all.