Living Again pt. 1

I almost walked out as soon as I set foot inside the bar, but I had something to prove to myself and mustered up the courage to continue to a table in a dark corner.

I had a life once, even though I can hardly remember it now. I was going on 26 when I met Larry. I'd been married twice before and things just didn't work out. He walked into my office one day and I was smitten with him almost at first sight. There wasn't anything remarkable about him, but he had this cocky swagger when he walked and a look of pure mischief on his face when he talked to you, almost as if you were the butt of some joke he'd heard last night. It made you want to smack his face, but one look in his eyes and you were lost. Green as any eyes I'd ever seen before, with specks of brown. Then he spoke and I melted.

That was ten years ago. Ten very long years.

Don't get me wrong, at first he was the perfect gentleman, full of charm and laughter, a great listener, someone you felt you could confide your deepest secrets to without fear of ridicule. He was a dynamo in bed, too. There was no sex without foreplay...and lots of it. So much that you had to beg for release. And the release was enough to make your toes curl, let me tell you.

Somewhere along the line, he changed. He became a very angry person and yelled about everything. He was never happy and could always find something wrong to burst your bubble when you were happy. He called me names I'd never even heard before and made sure I was aware that no man would ever want a pig like me, I should be grateful that he gave me the time of day. So many years I heard his comments that I started to believe them.

I stopped caring about how I looked. I never dressed up anymore because that would make me a slut. I never wore makeup because that made me into a whore just begging for someone to fuck me and everyone knows I'd have to beg because, God knows, nobody could stand to screw me with the lights on if they had half a brain.

I lost all of my girlfriends years ago mainly because I was never allowed to go out without him and they just didn't want to hang out with a guy all the time. 

I had to work. He was damned if he was going to take care of me when I should be taking care of him. Any other woman would jump at the chance to take care of their man and he would have no problem getting them, if he wanted. But nooooo, he was busy wasting his life away with me to bother.

All those secrets I'd confided were thrown in my face on a daily basis. It's no wonder I couldn't keep either of my husbands what with the way I looked.

The final straw came when he forced me to have anal sex with him. I woke up to find my hands tied to the bedposts and him biting my nipples hard. I was helpless to defend myself and so I endured the disgrace so he would hurry and leave me alone.

I walked out the door the next morning for work and never returned. It has taken me the past 8 months to get my life back in order and now I'm sitting here at this table to prove that another man will have me, if only for a little while. I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. Obviously, my last few choices in partners haven't been that great. 

The waitress approaches me and I order a rum and coke.
She returns with the drink and tells me a gentleman at the bar insisted on paying for it and would like to join me. I scan the bar and don't see anyone at first, then I notice an older man tip his glass in my direction.

I immediately feel butterflies in my stomach, but manage to smile and tip mine back at him. He rises and walks towards me and I almost bolt from the table! I mentally smack myself and think 'I need to get a grip', he's only testing the waters as I am.
Still, I'm wishing I hadn't worn such a skimpy outfit because I could see him checking me out and it made me feel strange.

He introduced himself as Gene and we talked for a while, about nothing in particular...the weather, our occupations....and he ordered me another drink. Not being much of a drinker, I was already feeling a bit light-headed, so I sipped this one slowly as we continued to talk. He reached for my hand and told me I had beautiful eyes and, instead of letting go, he continued to hold onto me and run his thumb across my palm very slowly. I'm pretty nervous, but the blush rose from my chest to my face, which caused him to touch me lightly with his finger and trace a line down to my shoulder. It gave me goosebumps, but I liked the way he touched me so I didn't pull away. He held my gaze as he pulled my hand to his lips and gently placed a kiss onto the palm he'd been rubbing.

I came to my senses then and asked for another drink so I might gather my thoughts and decide if this is what I really wanted to do. 

As I waited for the waitress to bring my drink, I avoided his stare by glancing around the bar. I noticed an older woman not too far away looking in my direction. She smiled and I thought she just might be the prettiest woman I'd ever seen. 
Gene cleared his throat and I was embarrassed to find I'd forgotten about him sitting there holding my hand. He was grinning and asked if I'd like to meet the smiling woman. By then, I was ready for a distraction as things were moving a little more quickly than I'd anticipated, so I agreed. He waved to her and she slowly approached our table.
I learned that he not only knew her, but he introduced her as his wife, Tina.

Great! Of all the people in this bar, I end up with the married man.

Tina and Gene must have noticed the look on my face and they chuckled. Tina sat down close to me and told me they come to this bar frequently. She went on to explain that Gene would find someone he thought she'd like and he'd strike up a conversation with them. Once certain, he'd motion to her and they'd make a new friend.

I was a little confused and feeling like I'd been duped in some kind of stupid game when Tina took hold of my chin and looked into my eyes with that gorgeous smile.
It was at that moment I realized it was she who was interested in me and not her husband! It was almost enough to make me run for the door!
Had she not been holding onto my chin so tightly, I think I might have done just that and then the most remarkable thing happened.