Lady Luck 2

Her voice became huskier: "I'd be under the ground if it wasn't for you Rand, and I like to pay my debts. But what about these guys? Are any of them hunky and spunky?"

I gulped and wished I could say they were all hopelessly ugly nerds. But Chloe was right, I needed to play every card in the pack and right now she was my only ace.

"Piet Schmued," I answered reluctantly. "He's a big guy, played football at college, handsome as hell, always scored big time with the chicks. But he's married now."

"That's OK, I'm not going to steal him. I might put some wear and tear on him, but I won't steal him."

"You think you can get him to sign up with us?"

She giggled, deep in her throat: "Well, Rand, I'm ready to give it my best shot. To tell the truth, I'm thinking really deeply about what you've told me and it seems like I'm going to have to do something for myself to calm down again. Unless maybe you'd like to come back here to the office as fast as you can and show me again what a hard boss you can be to work for."

"Chloe, lover, the next thing you're going to hear is the sound of sirens following me through the red lights."

I dropped the cell and revved up the engine in the same second. Mid morning, the traffic about as good as it ever got and I guess I set my own personal best time for a standing start from the CBD to the apartment block. It was like that joke about the guy on viagra who quit work and went home every time he got a hard on, just so it wouldn't be wasted. I didn't exactly know why the idea of Chloe taking on Piet for my sake had me so turned on but the images in my mind were hitting every horny alert button on the entire flight deck.

As soon as I got into the hall I damned nearly hung my laptop on the hook and put my keys on the table before I realised what I was doing. Then I opened the study door, saw Chloe working on one of the 'puters and crept up behind her for a fast hug.

She looked up at me, smiling primly: "I'm sorry but the boss isn't here right now and we don't see salesmen without an appointment. Can it wait until next week?"

I slipped my hand lower: "Gee, Ms Dooferatickle, I was really hoping I could make some kind of contact today in your organisation. How about down here, you think maybe I could introduce myself a little down here?"

"Hey, I'd like to help you, Mr Donkeydick, but I don't know if I should. My boss does some awful things to me if I screw up."

"Now you mention it, Ms, how are you at screwing?"

"Well, I always do my best for the boss, of course. But it's kind of difficult to know how I'm doing -- he never says much, he just grunts a lot and then goes to sleep."

"Then it's a good thing I called round. Forget those boring old lays. What you need Ms Doofertickle is exactly what I'm selling."

"Really? What are you selling?"

"Fucks. I sell fucks. Long ones, short ones, big ones, small ones, simple ones, complicated ones, group ones, on the top of a desk fucks, all the way up to Desert Island castaway fucks. Why, I even sell McFucks with giveaway plastic pricks to take home to the kids. And each and every one of them is guaranteed as a genuine, one hundred per cent, rubber burning, come like a freight train down a mountain, screaming, lung busting, satisfies all the way, totally orgasmic fuck."

Chloe tittered like a schoolgirl and wriggled in her chair. "Wow, they sound like they might be real fun. It surely seems more interesting than selling insurance. But I don't think I could afford to buy anything as good as you're talking about."

"Why, Miss, this is a real lucky time for us to meet because I'm able to offer you a special introductory price fuck at far below the normal retail price. All you have to do is to agree to take part in a customer survey we're conducting."

"Oh -- what would I have to do?"

"It's nothing at all. The only thing that happens is that I undo your top like this and kind of slip my hand in here. Pretty soon I'll know whether you're in the market for one of our special offer fucks. Not only that, but I'll know exactly which one is the right one for you right now. Why, I'll even promise to refund your money if I'm not completely satisfied after I've fucked you."

Chloe giggled again: "That sounds very fair, but you must surely have an educated hand there, Mr Donkeydick. Can you really tell all that about me with it?"

"Of course I can. We have lots of special training to find out these things. By the way, what's your first name, Ms Dooferatickle?"

"Well, it's supposed to be Diane, but all my friends call me Desperate. Desperate Lee Dooferatickle."

I had to break off with a fit of laughter I couldn't hold back any longer. But Chloe never even twitched her lips; when she wanted to she could be as stone faced as Buster Keaton.

"Excuse me, Mr Donkeydick, but do you think I could try out this hand thing as well? I'd like to see what I can find out."