Konrad's Memoirs

As I finished my coffee and Sabine’s head dangerously bobbed towards the plate as if seeking a pillow, I got up and carried her to Johann’s study, gently placing her on the ottoman and wrapping her in a warm blanket. ‘Take a nap, sweetheart.’ I said and before I finished tucking her in, she closed her eyes and her breathing slowed. I felt guilty for allowing myself to be persuaded into this madness of bringing her with me in this horrible weather. 

I returned to the kitchen, where Lottie was now warming the water in a huge pot on the stove, getting ready to wash the dishes. I stood at the door for a moment, taking in the view of a beautiful girl, busying herself with pots and pans, still more than half full with food. Even more streaks of blond hair escaped the pins, which were to hold them in place, giving her a look of softness and familiarity. Most of the employers would frown at such sloppiness, but I found it very attractive. 

‘Lottie,’ I said gently and she spun around just as she did before, her sky-blue eyes wide with uncertainty. ‘Sabine is sleeping now.’ I announced and she simply nodded, turning her back on me, stealing occasional glances over her shoulder. 

I walked up to her and hugged her from behind. Her body shivered in my embrace and I heard a gasp leave her lips. ‘Lottie!’ I whispered passionately, pressing my body against hers. 

‘Please don’t, Herr Konrad!’ she whispered with a shaky voice. ‘Please, not today.’ 

‘Oh, Lottie,’ I said and gently kissed her neck, making her shiver all over again. ‘I thought about you every day.’ Another kiss followed, this time on the edge of the hairline. 

She tried to elbow me away, but her resistance was very weak. 

‘Did you think about me, Lottie?’ I asked and my lips pressed against her white neck, my tongue stroking the flesh that was caught in my mouth. 

‘No,’ she whispered slowly. ‘I didn’t.’ It was more than obvious that she was lying and did not try to conceal it. 

‘Did you think of how I kissed you?’ Her head shook in denial. ‘Did you think of how you kissed me, Lottie?’ I asked again, and another soft moan escaped her. 

I turned her towards me and cupped her face in my hands, kissing her softly on the lips, my tongue slipping inside her mouth and exploring her sweet taste. She responded, not passionately, but still with greater intensity than the last time when we were together. My absence was clearly more of an advantage than a setback that I feared it might be. 

She obviously thought about me; she thought about the afternoon we spent in Johann’s bedroom a week ago, reliving the moments of fear, confusion, disgust and ultimately the passion which at first, she resisted kicking and screaming, but had later succumbed to with weak protests. 

I pulled away and hooked my fingers under her cardigan, slowly pushing it off her shoulders and down the arms that limply hung at her sides. ‘Please don’t,’ she tried again but I would not be deferred. The cleavage that her dress, so tight in the torso revealed made me take a deep breath. She shivered, whether it was due to the cold or my advances I could not say. Her nipples were hard and clearly visible through her dress. I wanted to bury my face in her breasts and smell her soft skin, rich with cleanliness of herbal soap. Instead, I let the cardigan drop to the floor, my hands finding their way to her breasts, squeezing them gently through the cheap cloth that covered her voluptuous body, rubbing my thumbs against her hard nipples. 

I noticed her looking over my shoulder, her eyes drooping slightly as if she was daydreaming with thoughts of something beautiful. At that moment, something beautiful was stirring in my pants, and I almost chuckled. 

‘Come,’ I said and put my hand in hers. She did not resist at all, obediently following my gentle pulls towards the staircase. 

We reached Johann’s bedroom and as I pushed the door open, I turned around and looked at Lottie. Color had returned into her face, which appeared so pale when I first laid my eyes on her that afternoon. As we entered the room, I noticed that the rich velvet was still covering the bed, however, it appeared clean and fresh, free of stains, which I am certain Lottie and I left as evidence of our encounter a few days ago. 

One of the windows that looked onto the back garden was wide open, letting the coolness of a rainy day in, chilling the room beyond comfort. I did not bother closing it, however. Each step that I took towards the room seemed to warm me up more in anticipation of what was to come. 

I walked to the bed, dragging Lottie behind me, as the sight of the room itself seemed to make her reluctant again. I sat down, spread my legs just as I hoped she would do for me soon and pulled her towards me. She was not very tall and her face barely reached above the level of my own. 

My hands found their way onto her heavy breasts again, which I thought very beautiful and arousing even though I had not been awarded a full view of their nakedness yet. I kneaded them as if they were two mounds of dough that needed to be worked vigorously. Lottie bowed her head as if she was being scolded, and with nowhere to hide her face she kept her eyes shut tight as if she was in a great deal of pain, her body slightly swaying with each movement of my hands. Her shame worked wonders for my cock. It was hard already, trying to stand out straight, prevented to do so by the restrains of my tight pants. 

‘Take off your dress,’ I whispered and found my voice full of passion. Lottie looked towards the window and I quickly added: ‘I’ll close it if you’re cold.’ 

That escape route cut off, she shook her head, trying to push my hands off her body. ‘Sabine might wake up.’ 

‘Don’t worry,’ I said satisfyingly. ‘Her afternoon naps are always long.’ Was it really disappointment that I saw in Lottie’s face? I don’t think so. ‘Besides,’ I added, ‘the poor child is exhausted.’ 

I leaned forward and kissed Lottie’s soft skin just above the rim of the dress, bulging with the heaviness of breasts that I yearned to see exposed completely. It became obvious that Lottie would not be willing to indulge my every request the first time I voiced it, and I too was afraid that Sabine might surprise me by waking up much sooner than she normally would have. 

I straightened up and grabbed the rim of the dress, which cut deep into Lottie’s breasts, trying to look deep into her eyes. She would not return my stare. 

‘Look at me!’ I whispered and as her eyes caught mine, she realized what I was about to do. Her mouth opened in a big O to voice her protest, her hands flew towards mine to stop me exactly at the same moment as I roughly pulled on the soft cloth I was holding onto. It took one forceful tug and I ripped the front of her dress in two, exposing my eyes to a view of a beautiful, rich pair of breasts, gently bobbing in front of me. Just like her neck, they were milky white and soft, slightly sagging due to the heaviness, making me moan with desire. 

Lottie’s reaction to my intrusion was quite unusual, however. Her hands flew up and I thought she would try to hide herself from me, instead they reached her face and with a loud yelp, she covered her eyes. A woman with a mind of a little girl. If I cannot see you, you cannot see me! 

All I wanted to do was to grab onto her breasts, squeeze them tight, suck and bite down on the hard brown nipples, but I felt that I had to calm Lottie down a bit first, as her entire body shivered uncontrollably now, and I was almost certain the cold breeze that rushed in through the open window was not to blame for that alone. 

I reached up and pushed her hands off her face, placing them at the sides of her voluptuous body. I grabbed behind her neck and pulled her towards me, kissing her deeply, my tongue sliding inside her mouth as far as it would go. The other hand found its way to her hair still caught in a bun, pulling out as many pins as it would find blindly, letting the long blond streaks freely fall down Lottie’s back. 

Lottie pressed the palms of her hands against my chest trying to pry herself free, at the same time passionately responding to my kiss, her tongue caressing mine, her lips sucking onto my breath. Finally, she forcefully pushed away from me and at the last moment I managed to catch her wrist before she turned around and ran out of the room. 

‘You ruined my dress!’ she exclaimed, as so many times before ready to burst in tears, trying to pull the ripped edges together with her free hand. 

‘Oh, Lottie,’ I whispered pulling her back to me. ‘I’ll buy you another one.’ I kissed her neck and heard her gasp. ‘A beautiful one, Lottie. Anything you want,’ I managed to mumble through the avalanche of kisses. ‘Anything you want,’ I repeated and meant it. I would have done anything at this moment to be able to make love to her and have her respond as passionately as I believed she was capable of doing. 

I slid off the bed and let her go in attempt to undo my pants and free myself for her. She took the advantage of a short moment when I paid attention to the buttons and bolted for the door. I caught her just in time or she would have gotten away. I grabbed her by the forearm, pulling her back into the room and carefully closing the door, mindful not to wake my daughter downstairs. 

I spun her around and when facing each other pushed her against the door, leaning my body heavily on hers. ‘Feel this,’ I whispered and pressed my hard dick against her crotch. ‘This is what you do to me, Lottie.’ I gasped and she looked at me calculatingly, as if trying to detect a lie. ‘You can’t leave me like this now.’ I almost pleaded and sucked onto her neck, pulling her soft flesh between my teeth, biting down on it gently. 

As if to show her how much she turned me on, I leaned back, my pelvis still pushing against hers, I roughly tore my own shirt open, its small buttons flying into the door and wall, bouncing off and falling to the thick carpet beneath us. Lottie gasped just as she did when I ripped her dress. I pulled the shirt off my shoulders, slipped the undershirt over my head, letting them follow the buttons. 

I was never ashamed to show my body, especially my chest. Numerous occasions when there was a lack of workers to load the ships in time for their departures, moving heavy boxes back and forth, Johann and I were the ones who had to step in and help. The grueling labor had always left me drained, my muscles achy beyond belief; at the same time filling my upper body with strength and tightness that women seemed to admire. My legs were a completely different story, however. Long, thin and hairy, I probably resembled an ostrich in a desperate flight whenever I chased after the girls with my trousers off. 

Lottie placed her palms on my chest and squeezed hard, digging her fingernails deep, making me wince in pain. This girl is proving to be a hot cat herself, I thought and laughed. For the first time, Lottie returned a small token of affection to me. It did not equal my hearty roar, but there was a smile, sweet and innocent, just like her. And it was all for me. 

I could feel my dick throbbing wildly now, ready to undertake anything I would allow it to do, telling me that, ever so uncharacteristically, it won’t take much to reach the ultimate moment of pleasure. Lottie managed to drive me wild with her innocence, and whether it was an act or not, my body responded to her as if I myself was a young lad rather than a middle aged man. 

I sought her lips again and while kissing her deeply, I managed to push the dress off her shoulders, undo the few buttons on the back of it below the waist, letting it fall freely to the floor. I did not take the time to admire her body, now half clothed. I tugged at her underpants and pushed them down her legs, leaving her to kick them off. I finally managed to undo my own pants and let them slide down my legs, followed by the underpants, stepping out of both impatiently, holding onto Lottie’ shoulders for balance. All the while, my lips were pressed firmly against hers, my tongue exploring, brushing against her teeth, nudging at her own tongue. 

I dropped to my knees and pushed her still booted feet apart, giving me an access to her wet pussy and the little bud that I wished to taste again. I buried my head between her spread legs and sucked my lips onto clitty. My hands grabbed her butt cheeks and I dug my fingernails deep into the soft flesh, making her jerk forward in pain, pushing her pussy onto my face.

I pulled my lips off her and replaced them with my fingers, lifting my face toward Lottie’s, who to my great delight did not keep her eyes shut tight; instead she looked squarely at me, her mouth open in a silent moan as she tried not to make a noise and wake up the child sleeping soundly downstairs. 

‘I want to fuck you, Lottie!’ I whispered loud enough to be heard throughout the room. For one short moment, her face contorted with embarrassment, only to smooth over and offer me a smile, all the while her mouth hung slightly open. 

‘I want to fuck you so hard you’ll be begging me to stop, Lottie!’ I went on and she put her hand on top of my head, roughly grabbing a generous streak of hair, pulling it wildly, causing the kind of pain that I had promised I would deliver to her. ‘And when I stop, Lottie,’ I said, my fingers on her clitty working furiously. ‘When I stop,’ I tried again, my mouth so dry from heavy breathing, I found it hard to complete a simple sentence, ‘You’ll ask me to go on.’ 

‘We shouldn’t be doing this,’ she gasped, but her actions proved her body would not listen, just as I was not prepared to. 

‘I know,’ I said and buried my head in her thick, blond bush, finding the clitty and sucking on it. It literary took seconds and her ass started trashing, her already wobbly knees gave way and she slid down the door, almost falling over to the side, gasping loudly while trying hard not to yell out. 

Never have I been so turned on by a woman’s body or her reaction to me. Never up to that point or ever since if my old brain can remember correctly. She was very young, and though not a virgin, I suspected that not many had the privileges she granted me. The thought that I was taking her passion to the heights she had never experienced before had turned me into a ranging animal and with her body trembling in my arms, I felt my own climax approaching. 

There was no time to make it to the bed on the other side of the room, my balls tingling, I could feel the hot spunk bubbling, ready to shoot out, no matter if it wasn’t directed to where I wanted it to go. I was still kneeling in the same position from which I had just made her go crazy with delight. Lottie was half squatting in front of me now, leaning against the door. I pulled her in my lap, pushed each of her feet to my sides, hugging her butt cheeks firmly. I have to admit she was heavier than I thought for such a short person, but the heavy breasts, meaty arms and legs, and big soft belly counted for something. 

I pushed with my hands as hard as I could, lifting her up, afraid I might strain myself. ‘Help me, Lottie,’ I whispered and for once she understood what I meant. Her hand wrapped behind her body and pushed between her ass and my legs, positioning my dick on the entrance of her pussy. 

As soon as I thought that I had a free passage, I dropped her out of my arms, impaling her on my throbbing hardness. This time she could not help herself but scream, which later I found out was due to the pain she felt. I was right about her having fucked before, but it was just one guy, very few times and he was not nearly as large as I was. Being entered this roughly made her see stars and she could not stop herself from voicing it out loud. 

‘Oh, Lottie!’ I yelled in a whisper, squeezing her tightly onto me, her arms wrapping around my head and shoulders, returning the bear hug. 

I could not stop myself any longer and letting go of any futile attempts to last more than one simple thrust, I cummed so hard I thought I would shoot her right out of my lap. We half-sat, half-knelt there, jerking as if being poked by sharp sticks, groans escaping both of our throats, trying not to be too loud to awake the sleeping child downstairs, even though it might have been too late for that. Previous scream that Lottie couldn’t hold in might have done the damage. My head spun for a few moments and in a heat of passion I pushed my head between her breasts, sucking wildly onto one, demonstrating the intensity with which my cock was throbbing deep inside of her. So much for my fucking her until she begged me to stop!

After what seemed like a very long time, which I am certain were only a few minutes, and my body began to calm down from the orgasm that just shook it to the greatest depths I ever imagined possible, the rest of my senses awoke. I felt my skin bumping up in protest of the coldness in the room; my legs tingled painfully from the uncomfortable position and Lottie’s weight on my thighs. 

I loosened my grip on Lottie’s body, pushing her away slightly and looking up into her face. She was crying quietly, her cheeks wet with tears, her lips in what seemed like a smile at first, only to prove to be a sign of despair. 

‘You’re hurting me,’ she said and as gently as I could possibly manage, I pushed her off my lap, trying to get up and help her to follow. I had to lean against the door for a minute, or I would have fallen over like a drunken fool. 

I almost laughed out loud at the pathetic site of Lottie, also leaning against the door, obviously still shook up from the encounter. She was stark naked, her hair a wild mane of blond streaks pointing into every possible direction, making her look like a mad woman. A stream of clear liquid made path down her inner thighs, slowly slipping over the knees and calves, on its way toward the firmly tied boots that she had never taken off. 

She bowed her head and covered her eyes with her hands again, sobbing openly. The confusion between different urges of her mind and body seemed to have drained her and she couldn’t help but stand in front of me, crying like a child.

My legs tingled painfully and all I wanted to do was to bend down and rub them until the feeling stopped. Instead, I took the crying girl into my arms and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Come, sweetheart!’ I said. ‘Let’s clean you up.’ 

She nodded into my chest and I took her small hand in mine, leading her to the bed that was my original target. I sat her down and found a towel in the nearby basket. I cleaned between her legs, wiping the mixture of our juices with careful strokes as if too much pressure might make her porcelain white skin shatter beneath my fingers. 

I pulled the velvet covers off the bed and made Lottie lay down carefully, ignoring her weak protests of invading her master’s private place. Just as I was about to join her, a sturdy knock startled us both. Lottie jumped half out of the bed and I myself nearly ran a circle in panic. 

I gathered myself quickly and pushed her back down. I took a while to get her where I wanted her; I didn’t want to miss the opportunity again. ‘I’ll deal with that.’ I said and hurriedly browsed through Johann’s closet to find some clean clothes. The person at the front door knocked again and I couldn’t bother with the shoes. I ran down the stairs barefoot, cold marble hurting my feet and opened the door. 

Peter, my coachman stood outside, blinking in the fading light of the rainy day, silently taking in my appearance. ‘Frau Sophia sent me,’ he said apologetically and I nodded. Of course she would be concerned for Sabine. Probably furious enough to skin me alive by the time I got home. 

‘Come in,’ I said and stepped away from the door. ‘Sabine is sleeping; you can take her home. I’m still deep in all the accounts that Johann left for me, so I’ll walk home later on.’ I said and stole a glance at my servant. 

Discreet as I had always found him to be he nodded, probably fully aware that my work today had nothing to do with the business at the docks. He gently took sleeping child out of my arms after I brought her out of the room and together they disappeared inside the heavy black coach waiting in front of the house. 

I closed the door and rummaged through my coat to find the book, which I carefully picked out of the secret compartment in my desk at home. I looked towards the ceiling where Johann’s room was and Lottie was laying in bed now, waiting for me. The fun was not over yet. I could not satisfy myself with the quick pleasure that I was a part of a little while ago. This time, I will be patient and thorough. I walked up the stairs, clutching the book to my chest, my heartbeat increasing with each step I took toward my mistress. 

Here I come, I thought and smiled.

I entered the bedroom and found Lottie had wrapped herself in the velvet blanket, awkwardly sitting on the edge of the bed, anxiously peering at me. The cold in the room made my own body shiver unpleasantly, some of it due to the freezing rain that persistently rapped on the window seal, some because of the pure exhaustion after my short bout of illness as well as previous wrestling and final conquest of Lottie. 

‘Peter took Sabine home,’ I announced to the girl sitting on the bed and took hurried steps toward the window, closing it hastily, hoping that the slight warmth that was lazily flowing through the air downstairs wound find its way up to the bedroom. 

‘You shouldn’t have brought her out here in this weather.’ Lottie said and I spun around, surprised that she muttered a sentence beyond a word or two. I grinned.

She shifted uncomfortably, wrapping the blanket tighter around her body, not returning my smile. After all that we’ve done together she still felt shame and embarrassment. That fact alone warmed me up inside and I slowly walked to the bed, plopping next to her, putting my arms around her shoulders. I pressed a kiss on the side of her head, her wild hair tickling my nose, filling it with the sour smell of lemon scent. 

‘Look, Lottie!’ I exclaimed as if just remembering the book in my hand, a gift that I decided to present her with in hopes that it might relax her and make her see that what we were doing was done all the time by others and was no big deal, as she believed it had been. It was an erotic story with many sketches and little paintings to make the descriptions more visible to the reader.

‘Can you read?’ I asked and she nodded, not offended by the question at all. So many servants were illiterate; their employers believing that holding them in ignorance might make them better workers, trying hard to keep them away from the radical beliefs of fools who swore allegiance to equality and liberation. I never particularly cared for that movement one-way or the other. I didn’t see anything wrong with people believing in changes, however, my wife Sophia always made certain that none of that nonsense entered our household. 

Lottie’s ability to read surprised me somewhat, but I was glad, as this would make it much easier on me. I decided not to bother her with reading at the moment, choosing to show her the pictures instead. 

Awkwardly, with one free hand, I opened the book and browsed through the pages, searching for what I wished Lottie would be willing to do for me. I stole a side-glance at her and noticed that she was peering towards my lap, where the book rested as I speedily flipped through, trying to find the page that interested me. 

All of a sudden she spasmed and shivered violently, throwing her head back and tightening her body as if expecting a blow. I left go of her shoulders and looked at her worriedly. Is she having a seizure? I don’t even remember Johann telling me she was epileptic, Herminna was notoriously terrified of any kind of illnesses and diseases; every servant of hers was healthy as a horse, or they weren’t in her service for much longer. 

Lottie shook her head and smiled at me. ‘Just a goose.’ She explained, her face blushing. 

‘A who?’ Now I was really confused. 

‘A goose just walked over my grave.’ She stated, satisfyingly nodding her head. The expression on my face must have been one of wonder and utter confusion, as this was the first time that I heard her laugh heartily. ‘My mother says that.’ 

I rolled my eyes. Old witches’ tales that servants always seemed to be so eager to believe in. A goose, indeed. 

‘No goose, Lottie, you’re simply cold.’ I recovered, thankful for an opportunity to get her under the bed cover without struggle. ‘Come, let’s get comfortable.’ I got up and only then did I notice that she was still wearing her boots. I knelt in front of her and with great care, started undoing the black laces. They were broken in few places, tied together awkwardly, numerous knots making it hard to make my task smooth and quick. 

Lottie simply sat on the edge of the bed, still hugging herself with the velvet blanket, carefully observing me. I pulled off her boots one by one, taking each of her small feet in my hands, gently massaging them. Lottie pulled her feet away from me and giggled. ‘I’m ticklish.’ She announced, careful not to kick me.

I pulled the heavy cover off the bed and pushed Lottie down, playfully tucking her in as if she was a little girl. She seemed to have calmed down some, accepting my presence and actions with nothing more than a curious observation. And a lot of blushing, of course.

I unbuttoned Johann’s shirt, which I hastily put on when Peter knocked on the door. I was careful not to rip it in pieces as I did the previous one. Despite the numerous shirts in Johann’s closet, it would have been just my luck to ruin his favorite one beyond repair. As I undid my pants and let them drop to my ankles, the shy Lottie took over and she looked away, her face hot with embarrassment. 

I simply shook my head. This time I would not be deferred by her shyness. I realized that beneath all that lay a passion so hot and in need of exploring, Lottie had hard time coping with the fact herself. I would just ease her into it. 

As I crawled in the bed, she turned on her side, her back towards me. If she was trying to tell me to leave her alone, I was not listening. Once under the cover, I tried to pry the velvet blanket off her body, but she clung onto it hard, making me jerk her back and forth with each attempt. 

‘Lottie!’ I said warningly. ‘How are you going to explain the ripped blanket to Johann, should I accidentally tear it?’ I asked and she froze for a moment. ‘Because of you!’ I added and felt her grip on the velvet loosening. I had it off her body in no time, bunched up between us; I moved my torso and ass, laying on top of it, making sure she could not get another hold of it in a moment of renewed embarrassment. 

I whipped my arm over her side and placed the book in front of her face. We were laying close together, like two spoons in an overstuffed drawer, my body pressing against hers. Her skin was warm and soft, everything on her still smelling of herbal soap; a sweet scent, which had become so familiar to me. 

My finger was stuck between the pages, marking the spot with the picture that I had chosen to show her first, and I nudged the book forward so that it opened up, displaying its contents to undoubtedly curious eyes of my little servant girl.