Home : First Time Stories : total 8 reviews.

Jack reviews

Posted by SEVERUSMAX
The only problem with this story is the grammar. For example, he keeps going back and forth from the 1st to the 3rd person pronouns.
Posted by LucOuarm
Add to that poor spelling, capitalization, and punctuation; and it's all glommed together.
Posted by David
cool story needs a part 2
Posted by ronni
Good story ....yes grammer and spelling need improvement but really the content was good.....I hope he went nonlinear with his own site....then more stories may scummy our way.......
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