I Can See the Horizon

Our common room had some furniture from the school, but since Kelly’s parents are pretty wealthy, she had brought along new couches, a TV, lamps, new fridge, and a nice microwave. I sat on the couch that was in the center of the room. I could turn on the TV since we didn’t have cable yet, so I just sat there.

After a couple of minutes, Allison came out. I had to gulp. She had changed into a t-shirt that said Descendants on it, with a jean jacket, and jean flares. She looked amazing. 

“What are you looking at?”

I must have been staring. “Nothing. Just daydreaming. Ready?”

On the walk to the restaurant, we walked about how we thought that Kelly and Jessica were cool, our majors (Allison is majoring in American Studies, Jessica is majoring in Culinary Arts, and Kelly has a double major of biology and multi variable calculus), and living away from home.

“It’s going to be weird.” Allison was talking about living with three other girls.

“Yeah, but we don’t all have to share one room.”

“I guess you’re right.” 

After dinner, we all went to our rooms. I lied down on my bed, exhausted from it being such a long day, and being that it was 11 at night.

I got up brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and went back to my bedroom. Allison was changing, and was about to talk her bra off.

“Oh sorry. I’ll wait outside.” I said

“Don’t be silly. We are going to live together for the next nine months, we can’t step out of the room every time someone has to change.”

I checked my feelings at the door and walked it. I made sure that I didn’t look at her boobs or butt or any inappropriate area to stare at. I walked to my dresser, and stared changing as well. I have a pretty fit body since I work out 3 times a week, and love to swim, so I wasn’t worried about my body. I took of my shirt, then my shorts and bra. I was half naked in a room with the sexiest girl I knew. I hope she couldn’t tell I was flustered. As fast as possible I took out a t-shirt and shorts, and got dressed. After that my clothes went into the hamper, and I was ready for bed.

I turned around back towards the room and Allison was lying on my bed.

“Hey.” I said pretending anger. “That’s my bed.”

“Yes sir” Then she started laughing. She has the cutest laugh. It’s like a giggle but it isn’t annoying. It is like the sound of an angel laughing. Melodic and beautiful. I love her laugh.

She still didn’t move, so I just lay down beside her. Two girls in there pajamas on the same bed. My imagination would have been running wild if I had not been so nervous. 

“What’s up Allie?” I could tell there was something she wanted to say but wasn’t.

“I don’t know. You seem a little different. I thought we were going to have fun like in high school, but only, we aren’t.”

“Well, today is just the first day. We will have fun. Trust me.”

“No. I know we will have fun at parties and stuff, but what about just hanging out.”

“We’ll hang out.” I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to say.

“I know you like me Alex. I can tell. I’ve always known. I never told you I knew though because you are a really good person.”

What!!! She knew. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I couldn’t say anything so I didn’t. I just stood up, put on a robe, and left the room. I just had to have some space for a while.

I went into the kitchen and got that vodka I had put in the freezer earlier. I had to get drunk.

Just as I was about to open the bottle, a hand come out and rested on the lid. I looked up and Allison was standing there.

“What?” I was pissed, and I wasn’t joking around anymore. “What? Am I supposed to say sorry or beg for forgiveness. My best friend is sleeping in the same room as me and I am just supposed to put my feelings aside and do nothing? I am not that strong, but this vodka is.”

“Alex.”

“No. I can’t anymore. I’m tired of hiding. I won’t. Now move.”

I put the vodka bottle down, and took out a glass from the cupboard. “I’m just so tired.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I started crying. All this time I thought I was hiding it so well. I feel down onto the floor, and brought my knees up to my chest. Why? Why? Please God, why?

In a second Allison was wrapping her arms around me, telling me it was okay. Telling me I would be all right. Telling me lies to make me feel better. It wouldn’t be all right, nothing would be fine anymore.

I woke up the next morning on my bed under my blankets. I don’t remember getting up and going to bed. Allison must have held me until I fell asleep. I feel something next to me, so I turn and Allison is in the bed too. She is still asleep. I look at her peaceful face. In her trance like state, she isn’t bombarded with the problems of the world. Her face isn’t tense, but her eyes are puffy. I guess she had cried too.

I got off of the bed very slowly so not to disturb her. I looked at the clock, it was still early, only about 5 am. I went to the kitchen. The vodka and glass had been put away. I took out some pancake mix and made about a couple dozen pancakes. Allison loves pancakes, and I hoped it would cheer her up. Around the time I was finishing up, Kelly and Jessica both walked out. I gave them each and few pancakes, finished the ones I was working on, and took a tray of pancakes, syrup, butter, and orange juice to bring to Allison.

I got to the room, and she was still asleep. I didn’t know how long she had been up, so I was unsure about whether or not to wake her. Before I could decide, she stirred, and then woke up. She saw me and the tray, and a little smile crept across her face.

“Morning.” I said

“Yeah, morning.” After all that crap last night, I was still in love with her.

She sat up, and I handed her the tray. Almost like de-ja-vu, she put her hand on top of mine.

“What?” What was she doing?”

“Alex, I’m sorry. I don’t like you in that way. I can’t love you that way.”

I had cried enough last night that I actually felt strong enough not to cry again. “I know. It’s okay. Just eat some breakfast.”

After a couple weeks, things were still going well. Allison and I hadn’t talked about that night since, and Kelly and Jessica were starting to become very good friends of mine. Allison seemed okay, and I could tell she was really excited about her classes. Everything was going nicely, and I couldn’t have been happier.

I had been calling my mom twice a week with the calling card she gave me. I had my reservations about going to college, but things seemed to be going smoothly.

I was doing some work on my desk. I compose songs for piano, and I just couldn’t seem to get the tempo I was looking for right. I was getting a little frustrated, but I knew I wouldn’t stop until I got it right. I had been at it for the past two hours.

Allison walked into the room, unnoticed to me, and was looking at the sheet music I had in front of me. “ You might want to move that eighth note.”

Startled, I turned around. “ Which one?”

To my surprise, Allison came up next to me and leaned over so that she could see the paper better. Her breasts were just a few inches from my face, and I forced myself not to stare.

“That one. On the third staff.”

“Oh.” My voice came out husky from arousal.

Allison still hadn’t moved, so I looked down at my paper. I found the note. That’s it! 

“Oh my God!” I jumped up. It worked now. I had accidentally left a note in which had messed me up. I gave Allison a huge bear hug. Yes! It finally worked! I gave her a big kiss on the lips, in the moment only intending it to be a friendly kiss. But then, I didn’t pull away, and neither did Allison. We were kissing. I didn’t move my lips at all afraid that it might break some spell in which Allison would pull away. But she didn’t, and neither did I.

Then just as suddenly as it had happened, Allison pulled away. She looked confused. 

“What, wait, what, what.” She didn’t know what to say.

“Allison.” When I said this she looked in my eyes. “Would you like to go out some time?” I couldn’t believe that those words had come out of my mouth.

I had just asked Allison on a date.