Greetings from the new brunette

In April 2004 my husband announced that his 25 year old secretary was 6 months pregnant and he was leaving me and our two daughters to be with her. Apparently I’d become boring and had put on weight – no longer the slim nymphomaniac that he had married 21 years previously. To say that I was devastated would be somewhat of an understatement.

I thought that I’d been as good a mother and wife as I could be while also holding down a career as an accountant with a pretty large clothing company. I’d never refused sex and (even though I say so myself) was quite skilled at oral sex…at least he never complained. Obviously things had changed over the years; I had actually put on a little bit of extra weight – but so had he! Oddly enough sometimes I genuinely ‘wasn’t in the mood’ after a long hard day at work, driving for 40 minutes across town at rush-hour to make sure my family had a nice nutritious meal on the table by 7pm. MEN!

Somehow my daughters and I muddled through and in September 2005 Chloe joined her elder sister at University in London. Six weeks later my company merged with a large American consortium and I was made redundant with a very handsome settlement.

Without a care in the world I decided to spend some of my new found wealth on a three week holiday in the Caribbean with my youngest sister; where I subsequently had sex for the first time since my husband had left the matrimonial home. For some drunken reason it was with one of the hotel barmen who was as black as the Ace of Spades. It certainly hadn’t been planned as I had never even fantasised about having sex with a black man and in fairness I can remember very little about it because I was so drunk! I do remember being disappointed at the size of his Willy – smaller than my ex-husbands (boo-hoo) and it was all over very quickly. The upside was feeling sexually attractive and self-confident for the first time in two or three years.

On my return home there was a job offer waiting for me to become the Manager of a friends’ Advertising/Marketing Company called ‘The Icicle Works’. It was to start virtually as immediately as the current Manager was very pregnant and didn’t want to return to work.

It was a completely Alien world to me as I sat at my desk on the first Monday in my new office after spending 18 years in my last job.

“Hi ya!” A very camp Asian boy greeted me. “I’m Nikki and I’m making coffee; would you like one?”

“Yes please.” I replied.

“How do you like it?” He asked as his eyes surveyed the pictures on my desk.

“Dark and strong please.”

“Just like the men in your life I presume?” He giggled and minced out of the room before I could reply.

A few minutes later he brought my drink to me and he offered to introduce me to the five girls that worked in the office.
They were an ‘interesting bunch’; all of them were in their early twenties and they had an assortment of dyed hair, exotic clothing and tattoos. Nikki was possibly the nearest to ‘normal’ and he was as camp as a row of tents! This was going to be an interesting job – if I could last to the end of the first week.

Make it I did and very enjoyable it was too. They were a great hard-working bunch of kids who all loved their jobs and proud of working for the ‘The Icicle Works’.

As we were having our afternoon coffee Nikki and Evangeline (one of the designers) regaled me with their elaborate plans for a hedonistic weekend. I just smiled; then Hannah the Liverpool Girl told us in graphic detail her own plans for wild sexual abandon with her new boyfriend who was on leave from the Army.

“What is the Delectable Melanie going to do with herself tonight?” Nikki giggled when he saw the amazed look on my face, “Sex and drugs and rock and roll too?”

“Takeaway curry and nice bottle of wine.” I thinly smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “Watching reality TV.”

“Oh...my…God…NO!” Nikki gasped as he theatrically threw his head into his hands. “I must save you from yourself! You simply MUST come out with us.”

“I don’t think so!” I laughed out loud and dramatically shook my head and hands in his direction. “Anyway I’m old enough to be your mother….what would your friends think?”

“They’d love you and you’d love them.” He grinned; “A few of the boys have a thing for Yummy-Mummy’s!”

“What?” I enquired; never having heard that expression before.

“Yummy-Mummy’s are older women that young guys are attracted to.” Evangeline butted in. “Or they call them Milf’s.”

Again I shook my head.

They all looked at each other and sniggered at my ignorance daring someone to explain the term to me.

Nikki was close to exploding with laughter and blurted out, “Mothers I’d like to……FUCK!”

“Oh!” I gulped.

Tears of joy were running down Jill’s cheeks and the other four were in hysterics at my embarrassment now.
“Oh sweetie,” my gay friend giggled, “there is just sssooooo much that I have to teach you!”

We eventually went back to finishing the days work and went our separate ways at 5 o’clock.

As expected I watched TV alone on all three nights; having a takeaway curry on Friday, pizza on Saturday and Chinese on Sunday with a nice bottle of wine to wash them down. I called my sister on Saturday night and both daughters on Sunday. Apart from that the only human contact I had was in the Supermarket doing my weekly shopping.