Dear Diary 02

I would not want to be as presumptuous as to claim I knew for certain what was in his mind but I could pretty much tell that his thoughts were the same as mine. He was so handsome, so kind and he showed a genuine interest in me, I wanted to do more than just sit around and drink. I believed he was struggling with the same. 

“Why are you here?” he broke the silence, startling me. I shrugged my shoulders as if I had no answer to that, avoiding his eyes, suddenly frightened that I might have figured this whole situation completely wrong. To make a fool of oneself in front of a stranger is one thing, to do so in front of my friend’s dad, that was a whole different ballgame. 

“You don’t know?” he asked and I finally gathered the courage to look into his eyes. He held the glass of wine between his legs, slowly tipping it from side to side, his gaze sternly holding mine. 

I leaned towards him, offering my face, my lips almost touching his. I paused like that, my eyes half closed, still able to see that his eyes did not close. He sat motionless and I feared this was the moment of foolishness that I was freaking over before. 

Then, I felt his breath on my lips, rapid and shallow, telling me that it was not foolishness that made him freeze, but the uncertainty. I finally pressed my lips against his and they were the softest I have ever felt. Seconds passed with us sitting on the couch, leaning towards each other, only our lips touching. Then, his hand found my face, reaching farther up to my hair, his soft kiss becoming more passionate. His lips parted, his tongue found his way between mine, brushing against my tongue and my teeth. 

His chest raised heavily as if he had just ran a mile, making me moan and join in his labored breathing. 

As much as I want to remember every second that I have shared with Sean, there seem to be moments, even minutes that are completely blanked out of my mind. I don’t remember having the glass of wine taken away from me. I don’t recall his fingers, or maybe my own unbuttoning my shirt, but I do remember him slowly pulling it off my shoulders and cupping my breasts through the bra, gently squeezing them. 

I wished for something softer than the otherwise comfortable couch we were sitting on and as if reading my mind, he got up, took my hand and led me through the house, up the stairs and into his bedroom, which I later on realized was another victorious triumph of architecture. At the moment of my entrance, though, all I could think about was Sean, blind to the beauty around me. 

He sat on the bed and pulled me to him, nestling me between his legs. My bra, jeans, panties and running shoes were off in no time; I can’t remember the sequence of it exactly. 

Sean’s hands were running up and down all over my body. Across my belly, gently squeezing my butt cheeks, down the thighs and tickle behind the knees, up over the hips, landing on my breasts, squeezing them as gently as the butt, farther up to my neck, encircling it as if in a strangle hold, pulling me towards him, sucking his lips onto mine. 

Sure I had my fair share of sex over the past four years since I lost my virginity, but never did I feel so uninhibited, free and unembarrassed. I stood in front of a man, stark naked, not worrying about how I looked. He made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world at that moment and the worshipful looks that he was giving me were making me feel very hot. 

I tried to slip past him and lay on the bed, but he stopped me. “Not yet.” He whispered, holding onto my hips, preventing me from moving. I could see a bulge in his pants and wished to unzip them and reach inside, but yet again, he brushed me off. 

“Put your leg here.” He patted a spot next to where he sat on the bed and I did as he told me. I held onto his shoulders for balance, afraid that my legs would not hold me up for much longer. 

I stood in front of him, naked and spread wide open, one leg between his legs, the other one with sole flat on the bed, his hands running up and down my thighs, making me shiver and twitch, seemingly without control. I could barely catch my breath when he pushed his face between my legs and his tongue touched my clitty. Just a soft brush first, sending a wave of pleasure from the sensitive spot throughout my body; I could feel the tingles in my arms and face, my feet and everywhere else. 

He sucked onto my clitty, one hand reaching over my belly and pinching my nipple, the other wrapping over my butt, holding me still and at the same time supporting my weight, as I thought I was ready to fall down at any given moment. 

He kept sucking and licking between my legs, my hands on his shoulders, playing with a string of too long blond hair, at one point pulling it too hard. He jumped and hissed. “Hey, easy now!” I giggled and he grinned back at me, returning his full attention to my clitty. 

I have always needed a lot of attention of tongue and fingers from a man before I could cum, but with Sean, it took me bare two minutes and I grabbed onto his hair, this time without any protests, gasping for breath while I felt a wave after wave of pleasure surge through my body, Sean sucking as if his life depended on it, giving me more pleasure than I had ever had before. 

As I came to my senses, I saw him looking into my eyes intently. He had managed to unzip his pants without me noticing and was now pulling them down awkwardly with one hand, the other one still caressing my body. 

I have not had many orgasms this strong before, even the ones that I had evoked myself. I knew that I could have another one really soon, but I had to act fast. Taking a step back, I helped him with his pants, pulling them down together with his boxer shorts, not bothering with the t-shirt. 

The size of his dick surprised me. It was bigger than anything I have ever seen in real life, much less felt inside me. Big and hard, he was obviously just as ready as I was. 

“I can’t wait.” I whispered and pushed him away from me, making him lie down, his legs still dangling over the edge of the bed. I wanted to take him into my mouth, instead I sat on top of him and carefully positioned his dick on my pussy, again noticing that his eyes have never left mine. I slid down slowly, pushing the entire length of his throbbing dick inside, taking a long breath, finally exhaling when I felt my body pressed against his pelvis. 

I didn’t tell him what I wanted, but again it seemed as if he was reading my mind and knew exactly what I needed. He grabbed onto my shoulders and started fucking me hard, much harder than I had ever been fucked, and within a few thrusts I could feel the tingle in my pussy spreading to my belly and then throughout my body. 

Somewhere at the back of my mind I had been aware that Janie might return home at any given moment, but I brushed those thoughts aside, surrendering my body to the pleasure completely, groaning in response to his movements and digging my nails into his forearms. 

I cummed hard again, little spots dancing in front of my eyes, well aware that my face must have been an ugly mask of pleasure. I didn’t care what he thought. I trusted him enough to know that this would only make him feel even more aroused. 

When I stopped shivering and his movements stopped he sat up, embracing me and flipping us both upside down so that he was on top. 

“We fucked,” he said and I ran my hand over his handsome face. “Now, I want to make love.”

And that was exactly what we did. He was kissing my face, eyes, and my hair, slipping his tongue into my ear, making me shiver, inside my mouth, caressing my tongue and brushing against my teeth. His hands were running up and down my body constantly, never pausing for more than a moment, and then only to squeeze my breast, lift my butt towards him, push my legs further apart, never seizing to move his pelvis, gently pumping in and out of me, giving me a sense of belonging. He made me feel like I hve never felt before. 

All of a sudden he pulled out of me and slid down my body, sucking onto my clitty again, his fingers deep inside my pussy, pressing against that delicate spot so many men are inclined to miss. I cummed again and all I wanted now was to do the same for him, take him in my mouth, squeeze his balls and watch him shiver in the same pleasure he had given me three times in a row. 

He wouldn’t let me, though. He motioned to me to turn over and as I did, supporting myself on the knees, I only just noticed that the entire headboard was one huge mirror. He looked at me and smiled. “You’re so hot, Nik,” he whispered. “I knew you would be.”

I smiled back, my face cringing in pleasure as I felt him enter me from behind. “I’ve been thinking about this all day yesterday.” He said surprising me, even though I had suspected that was the case. 

“I want you to cum with me, honey.” He said and I felt an instant cool off. I remembered how many times I have heard him call Janie his honey. Surely, this couldn’t be one of those projectory things; I looked at him in alarm. 

“What?” he asked, noticing my confusion. I wanted to tell him why I freaked, but decided against it. This was too good to spoil and if I mentioned Janie, I chanced an abrupt ending. I knew he wasn’t a pervert, it was a slip of a tongue. He was just being nice. 

“Nothing.” I said and pushed back against him. “I thought about you, too, Sean.” 

He grabbed onto my shoulders again and the lovemaking from a minute ago was over. He fucked me hard and long, one arm on my shoulder, the other one wrapped around my hip, fingers drumming against my clitty, rubbing it, pulling onto it, making it feel like it was connected to a power surge of some sort. 

“I want you to cum with me, Nik.” He whispered. “Tell me when…” I nodded. “I’ll wait, I want us to cum together.” he said and seeing his body blasting against mine had made me ready to cum right then. 

I closed my eyes, concentrating on his movements, feeling each press against my clitty, trying to remember it forever. As I looked in the mirror again, I noticed that both of our faces were flushed deep red, veins standing out on our necks and foreheads. We were both ready. 

“I’m cumming…” I whispered and he sped up, ramming against me so hard, I thought he would send me straight through the mirror. I saw him holding his breath, his face cringing, he tried to hold my gaze, but his eyes eventually closed and as I felt his dick throbbing deep inside of me, I exploded in the same pleasure that he was obviously feeling at that moment. 

His dick was buried all the way inside of me, his torso slumped on my back, his strong arms hugging me so tight, I almost lost my breath. I could feel his hot sperm shooting in me, and his groans turned into loud gasps, making me join him and express my pleasure audibly. 

My arms couldn’t support both of us any longer and I fell onto the bed, Sean following, still holding me tight, as if afraid I was going to run away. As our bodies calmed and our breathing slowed down, I came to my senses, wondering what to do or say next. 

“Oh, Nikkie,” whispered Sean, pulling me back into the sensual mood. I was grateful he did not simply jump off the bed and pull his clothes on, I would not be able to face him then. 

“Let’s take a shower.” He offered and I wanted to accept, but now, the passion satisfied I started thinking of Janie. 

“No, I have to go. I really do.” I said apologetically, squirming from under him. 

“I know.” He said and smiled. He leaned over and kissed me hard, his hand finding my breast. I couldn’t go through this again, there might not have been enough time. I wanted to stay, cuddle with him in bed all evening, take a shower and make another dinner. But I knew better than that. I was certain he did, too. 

With a heavy heart I got off the bed and dressed myself, not caring that his sperm was oozing out of me, probably creating a stain on my jeans. The shirt would cover any traces of our lovemaking. 

I left Sean still in bed, having refused his offer to drive me home or at least walk me to the door. I ran out with a guilty feeling because of Janie, yet exhilarated over what just happened. 

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I finished the diary entry and felt my heart beating as heavily as it did on the day when I left Sean’s house. I never saw him again, to my great disappointment, knowing it was better that way. 

A few years later, my mom told me Sean had married someone I didn’t know. Apparently, she was a beauty and a true bitch. They didn’t last long. 

To this day, I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had stayed. Would we be able to overlook the fact that his daughter was my friend? Probably not. Would the small town forgive us? Definitely not. Most importantly, and I shiver to think about that question, is whether he would want to be with me again. I know I would have wanted it.

I suppose things turned out for the best. He is one of the very few guys that I think about sometimes, when alone in bed or bathtub, my hand reaches between my legs, I close my eyes and try to bring myself to the same level of pleasure that I felt the day when I made love to Janie’s dad. 

I flipped through more pages, noting that the rest of the entries were much shorter than the first two I have read. I suppose they were more of a true diary scribbles, less of an attempt to mark down every single word, movement, smell and feeling. 

I kept reading.