Dear Diary 02

Note : This story is completely fictional!

I skipped a few entries and I reached the one that read: PBXK - July 1988

SEAN – July 1989
I swallowed hard. This one I still felt guilty about. Sean is Janie’s dad.

I have returned home for the first time in four years. My parents were delighted to see me, but I could sense that neither of them, especially my dad has forgiven me for breaking my word and not coming home after a year in Europe. How could I explain it to them, though? They would never understand. Their honeymoon in Mexico and mom’s second one in Italy with George was the peak of sophistication as far as they were concerned. To completely abandon ones entire family and friends only to live out of a suitcase and be a stranger wherever one went was beyond their comprehension. 

They enjoyed my tales of old towns and cities in England and Greece, small villages in Scotland and Ireland and my mom even found Morocco to be more than just a hellhole on the map; still, I don’t believe I quite persuaded them of the intoxication one experiences when one leaves a small, oppressive, ‘friendly’ town and heads out into the big wide world. 

They also failed to understand how I could have returned to the States and heading for Chicago, enrolling in college there rather than somewhere closer to home. As far as they are concerned, we’re talking about another hellhole on the map. 

They have been taking turns keeping their eyes on me for the past three days, after which I was finally able to make a phone call without their suspicious glances following me, as if I was just about to dash out of the house never to return. 

I knew Janie’s mom had passed away about a year after I left, and occasional letters that I received from my friends in Europe have told me that things in everybody’s lives were changing very rapidly. A few months away from home I began feeling like I couldn’t catch up anymore, things have been different for all of us. I never called any of my friends in four years, occasionally mailing a postcard, just so that they would know I was still thinking of them. I don’t believe they knew quite how often they all crossed my mind. 

On the third day after I returned home, I finally gathered enough courage to call Janie, somewhat surprised, but pleased that the phone number had not changed. My mom told me that after her mother’s death, Janie and her father have finally moved to a new house, which had been a plan when we were still in high school. 

“Hey!” was all I said and Janie screamed in delight. It felt good to be remembered so well. 

She was so happy I called. What? I was at home? Oh my god, now she was really happy! She doesn’t have time to talk; she is on her way out the door as we speak. She is sitting for an exam, a really hard one, so she shouldn’t be late. Yeah, college is a drag, but it’s not all that bad really. She should be back in the afternoon. I absolutely have to come and we’ll go out and find other girls. But she’ll be back at four and do I know where she lives now? Yeah, I should come by exactly at four and we’ll hang out. And by the way, she’s pissed at me for not keeping in touch, but she’s very happy I called!

The avalanche of words seized as I hung up, memories of the past slowly creeping into my head. We had some good times together. I was glad I was about to see her again. 

I made a few more calls to my old friends, but just like Janie, most of them were at colleges or their summer jobs and I didn’t get to talk to anyone else. The time seemed to slow down that day and I found myself antsy with anticipation of meeting my best friend again. 

She showed me around her new home, which is absolutely amazing. Her dad, an architect, has decorated the entire place himself and the effect is astonishing. Unbelievable colors on the walls, furniture of unconventional shapes and sizes, abstract paintings, bowls of fruit, flowers and plants everywhere – her home looks like something out of a magazine. I have to admit I felt a bit envious at one point. Then, I remembered which town this beautiful home is in and my envy evaporated. No matter how stunning the house, I wouldn’t want to live here again. 

As I sat in Janie’s bedroom, watching TV while she was taking a shower I was startled by a sudden appearance of her dad in the door. I didn’t hear him enter the house; his steps drowned by the running water in the attached bathroom and the TV sounds. 

“Hello!” I said and he smiled. Still the same Mr. Davey I remembered. No grayness to be seen in his dirty blond hair, tall and sporty, his eyes full of mischief. When we were kids, Janie’s dad was the most fun of all our parents. He was always late bringing everybody home after soccer practices, having taken us to the local ice-cream parlor. He always cheered the loudest at our games, laughed the hardest at our jokes and tales of childish escapades. He dressed the coolest and listened to the same music as we did, never minding the loud volume, which would have made any other parent delicately point out that the neighbors will complain and would we please turn it down. Still the same, handsome Janie’s dad. I have always suspected most of her friends, including myself, have had a secret crush on him. Of course, we couldn’t discuss something like that in her presence. Danielle and I have had a few heart-to-heart talks, though. 

“Well, I’ll be damned.” He said and walked into the bedroom. “Nikkie?” 

“Yes,” I smiled and he approached me, offering his hand in greeting. 

“When did you come back?” he asked and sat down on the bed next to me, very predictably smelling of the most intoxicating cologne a man could find. 

We chatted for a while and I found myself staring into his eyes, trying to see him as Janie’s dad, a guy who used to make sure I only got chocolate ice cream, no sprinkles or nuts, exactly as I liked it. 

“You look good, Nikkie.” He said and my thoughts of him being my friend’s dad went out the window.

“You do, too, Mr. Davey.” I said and returned a top to bottom stare that he had just given me, nodding my head. I couldn’t believe I just did a little flirt.

“Oh, please. Sean, just call me Sean.” 

The water in the bathroom stopped running and we could hear banging of the shower door as Janie was coming out to dry herself off. 

“I’m in here, Janie!” yelled Sean towards the bathroom. “So, come out decent.” 

Just before Janie re-entered the room, her dad got up and walked to the desk beneath the window, leaning against it, smiling at his daughter as she came into view. He asked her about her exam and she told him that we were just about to go out and meet with other girls. He insisted that he would fix us a quick dinner first; he was starving and did not want to eat alone. 

I felt sorry for him. Janie’s parents always seemed to get along so well, his wife’s death must have been devastating. I didn’t remember Janie mentioning him having a girlfriend, but then, we didn’t get that far yet. 

Janie rolled her eyes and with an air of great drama agreed. 

“And while you’re drying your hair and getting ready, Nikkie here will come with me and help me, won’t you Nik?”

My heart skipped a beat and I looked at Janie. “Yeah, you might as well. He’s always making me help.” Said Janie with a pretence annoyance. “You better be careful to cube and dice all vegetables the same size, or you’ll be in trouble. You know how those architects can get.” She giggled and her dad waved her finger at her. 

When I entered the kitchen, I found myself in every woman’s heaven. Everything in it was ocean blue. The walls, cabinets and the wooden floor were all the same shade of blue. Even the refrigerator was painted blue. Pans were hanging off the huge rack above the island in the middle of the kitchen, with its sides covered in tiles of various blues. 

“Wow!” was all I could say. “You sure know your business, Mr. Davey.” 

“Sean, call me Sean.” He nodded towards the pantry. “Get some veggies, would you, please?”

As I was cutting up carrots and lettuce, I plunged into deep thought and for a moment forgot where I was. Then I looked up and found Sean staring at me intently, his hands frozen in midair as he was reaching for one of the pans. 

We stared at each other and I could not look away. I felt heat slowly rising in my face. Did I just catch Janie’s dad checking me out? Did he catch me checking him out a little while ago when he was bending over the chair to pick up a knife that he accidentally dropped? His body was certainly worthy of a second look.

The sound of Janie’s footsteps brought us back from a moment that shouldn’t have happened and she joined us, happily chatting without noticing that anything out of the ordinary occurred. I stole a few glances towards Sean and more than once I found him looking back at me. 

I was flattered, but I also felt mortified. What was I doing? I had been away for so long and the first thing I do when I come home is flirt with my friend’s father. 

Dinner passed in relaxed conversation, with Sean asking me about Europe and Chicago and Janie about her exams. Janie filled me in on what has been happening to our friends, of course, only things that were appropriate to mention in front of her dad. I was certain the really dirty stuff will come out in the car or later on in the club that we were going hit. 

After dinner, Sean was having a glass of wine with Janie and me dutifully sipping on soda. He half slumped in the chair as if to get more comfortable, and while stretching his legs foot touched mine. I felt like I had just been electrocuted. I jumped in my seat and quickly apologized for what was not even my fault. “Sorry, my feet are all over the place.”

I looked at Sean and found him staring squarely at me, almost oblivious that his daughter was sharing the table with us. The touch was obviously no accident. I turned towards Janie and with great relief realized that she had been looking around for something on the counter, unaware of yet another intimate moment between her father and I. “Don’t be a stranger, Nikkie.” Said Sean as we were leaving and I smiled shyly. 

We spent the night in the club, drinking heavily like we weren’t allowed to do in Janie’s house, gossiping and just having good time. My thoughts, however, kept returning to Sean, to his intense stares, to his touch and I felt flabbergasted by my reaction to it all. I decided I wouldn’t go to Janie’s house again. I only had another week at home, staying away from there wouldn’t be that hard. 

Janie worked the following afternoon, trying to save money for the holiday, which was coming up in a couple of weeks.

That day I went to the local library to pick up some books for my mom and on my way back had taken a detour, finding myself in front of Janie’s house, noticing that her dad’s car was in the driveway. I paused by the row of neat, low bushes, uncertain if I had enough courage walk up and ring a bell. 

My dilemma was solved when the front door opened and Sean stood there, waving at me. He was saying something that I couldn’t understand. With the legs as heavy as led, I walked up the path towards the house.

“Hello, Nikkie!” he smiled. He seemed to appear more handsome every time I saw him. 

“Hi.” Was all I could say, I was afraid my voice would tremble if I attempted to say anything more. 

“Janie is not here.” He said and I simply nodded. The moment of awkward silence settled between us, and without another word he stepped inside the house, holding the door open for me to follow. I did.

We walked into the kitchen and he reached into the funky blue fridge, bringing out a bottle of white wine. “Share some?” he asked and I nodded, still unable to speak. “Grab a couple of glasses.” He pointed towards the glass cabinet next to me and walked out. I did as he said and followed quickly. I wasn’t sure where he’d go and I didn’t want to play hide and seek. 

I found him waiting in the hall and he nodded towards the archway opening with no door, which lead to a spartanly decorated white room, almost every piece of furniture covered with drawings and blueprints, obviously his own work. 

“My study.” he said. “I like to take a break in the afternoon and have a glass of wine or go for a walk. It clears my head enough to be able to keep going until Janie comes home.”

I felt sorry for him. His life obviously completely evolves around his daughter and from what she told me, she was leaving home in a year to try her own luck in the world. What will he do without her?

Sean removed a few huge sheets of see-through paper from the desk and motioned for me to put the glasses down, handing me a bottle. While I was pouring, ever so careful not to spill anything on the desk or any of his drawings, he also cleared the papers and books off a kidney shaped couch with no backrest. 

I turned around to hand him wine and found him sitting on the couch as if in a saddle, one leg on each side. He accepted the offered glass and patted the seat in front of him. “Come, join me.” 

With wobbly knees and barely enough strength to take two steps, I did. We sat there for a few minutes in complete silence, sipping the wine and savoring its sweet taste.