David & Matthew PART 3

Almost a month has passed since David and his family had arrived in California. David has not ventured outside except to take out the trash or cut the grass. He has been having the most wonderful dreams that he is still back in Minneapolis with Josh. They had planned to tell their parents about the new dimension of their relationship. They had started to grow tired of having to sneak off somewhere to do something that other people do in public. David thought how nice it would be to sit in the family room with his arm around Joshua. It hurt him deeply that he could do that anytime with a girl, not with Josh. 

David’s dreamed often of being someplace where his mother or father would introduce them to a friend or co-worker. “This is my son David and this is his boyfriend Joshua.” David had read so many coming out stories about youth building up the courage to share this part of their life with the people they love. 

Every story is different. The lucky ones are hugged and reassured that they are loved unconditionally no matter what. It is often said that with age comes wisdom. The more tragic coming out stories shoots this theory straight to hell. How could a parent stop loving a child based on sexuality? David read an article where the parents said that if they had to choose between (A) “Mom, Dad. I’m gay, or (B) Mom, Dad. I have cancer and the doctors have given me less then 6 months to live. These parents emphatically chose B as the better option.

Josh has long known that both of his parents are most likely aware of his sexuality. He knew that it was a waiting game and the subject would not be discussed until he was ready to speak about it. I guess that you could say that Josh is one of the lucky ones. His parents are not typical by any means. They are both educated and teach as a profession. They are drawn more towards artistic entertainment by way of plays, exhibits and try to avoid the mindless films that are rubberstamped in Hollywood. 

David recalls some of the early examples of the unique relationship Josh had with his parents. It was on an occasion shortly after David and Josh admitted that they masturbated. For David, masturbation was something that was done seconds after his parents left to the market or to run errands. It wasn’t that his mother was a bad mother, she just didn’t understand “boy stuff” and naturally felt more comfortable nurturing David’s older and younger sister. Once when David was about 12-years old, he had fallen back to sleep on a Sunday morning in the family room. 

As with all males, especially 12-year olds, an erection grew upward under the thin material of his pajama bottoms. It had been more then 4 years since David’s mother had seen his penis erect or otherwise. It must be frightening for a mother to see man-like attributes on a son’s body, her boy’s body, and the body that she passed through her womb. 

She yelled waking David up out of a sound sleep. “Cover yourself up David! What’s the matter with you?” She said. David had never been so embarrassed and from then on the seed was planted that the sight of his erection was grotesque and should be hidden. 

It was only after masturbating over at Josh’s house in his bedroom that he discovered the true meaning of mutual respect. As any male will tell you, masturbating with a friend for the first time can create a bundle of feelings and emotions. It is without a doubt “The moment of truth” The mystery over size, length, ability, and a dozen other things will be solved. 

For David and Josh, a new mystery was created. Was one boy’s penis larger then the other? Yes. Could one ejaculate faster then the other? Yes, but the other could ejaculate more and still none of these things where mentioned or bragged about. The only disagreement between David and Josh was that they each felt that the other had a better-looking penis then their own. They sat side-by-side on Josh’s bed close enough so that a single towel could be placed across their stomachs. Josh had removed all of his clothes while David simply lowered his pants to his knees and held his shirt up by tucking under his chin.

David nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a knock on the bedroom door, which by the way didn’t have a lock. It was Josh’s dad. “Son, it’s dad”

“Don’t come in dad! We’re doing something private that you can’t see!” Josh said calmly.

“We? Who are we?” His father inquired.

“Me and David!” Josh said while David scrambled to get his pant’s up and buttoned.

“Okay son! But it’s David and I, not me and David. Come see me before you guys leave.” He requested.

Josh agreed and started laughing at David’s reaction to the knock on the door. He tried to calm David down by ensuring that nobody would ever enter his bedroom without knocking first and waiting for permission to enter. “Well unless the house was on fire or something like that.”

“Yeah! But you told him that we’re doing something private. Now he’s going to think that we’re in here jacking off or something.” David said.

Josh told David not to worry about it. His parents have known that he’s been masturbating since he was 13-years old. “I think he’s just tripping because me and you are doing it together, that’s all.”

“That’s all? Tell him I was just changing clothes or something.” David pleaded.

The pair got up and Josh put his clothes back on. They went to the kitchen for a cool drink and had to walk past Josh’s dad. David was surprised when the topic of conversation was everything but what was so private that he couldn’t see. David knew that those would be the first words out of his father’s mouth.

When they went into the family room, Josh’s dad was half asleep in this favorite chair when he noticed them enter the room.

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Josh’s father asked.

“Just came to see what it was you wanted pop? Sorry about not letting you in my room but David was changing his clothes and he has a really tiny penis that he doesn’t want anybody to see.”

“JOSH!” His dad said looking down his nose and over his reading glasses. “That’s not very nice. I’m sure David didn’t want me to know that either. Just like you wouldn’t want me to tell him about the time Grandpa and I caught you masturbating out in the garage.”

“I already told him about that.” Josh said.

“Okay! Well what about the time I won that big stuffed Barney for you at the County Fair and later we found out……….”

“Oh my God! Don’t you dare pop! Okay! Okay! I’m sorry I said that about your penis David.” But the my dad pretty much knows that we where beating off and we could have avoided all of this by not saying anything at all.”

Josh’s dad had a habit of correcting his speech and vocabulary. “Good Lord! Joshua. Masturbation is such a wonderful gift. Must you dirty it up by calling it beating-off?” 

“Sorry pop!” Josh said. 
David could never imaging going off to his bedroom to stroke his cock knowing that his parents where in the next room with full knowledge of what he was doing. There was so many things that David liked about Josh’s father. His favorite of all is how he would refer to them as “the boys” to his wife. He never did this with any of Josh’s other friends. If they where getting a ride some place, Josh’s dad would shout through the house. “Honey! I’ll be right back. I’m going to drop the boys off at the mall.” 

It was nice to reflect upon these times fondly, but sadness couldn’t help but follow once the conscious mind let’s you know that these memories are the past. The future no longer included Josh and that fact was still hard for David. Soon he became a zombie from a lack of sleep. David tried everything to keep from sleeping. It was then that Josh would come to him in his dreams. Nothing has changed in those dreams David was still back in Minneapolis in his old bedroom. He and Josh would rush home from school so that they could have 3 hours alone before either set of parents came home from work.

They’d turn on some music, lie on the bed and tell each other about their day at school. They couldn’t get enough of each other. Josh would always rest his head on David’s chest so he could listen to the sound of his heart. “Do you really love me David?” He’d ask.

“More then anything Josh.” David would say. That always seemed to be the launching pad for a kiss. David would roll onto his side and look directly into Josh’s eyes. With the back of his hand he’d gently caress Josh’s cheek and he would always gasp for breath and then shiver when David did this to him. Slowly, Josh would see David’s face coming closer and he’d watch closely because he liked the way Josh slowly closed his eyes right before he kissed him. David used it as his cue to close his eyes as well and that moment of contact was magical. The feeling he’d get from that half second between his eyes closing and his lips coming into contact with Josh’s was awesome. Once their lips met their tongues would slowly dance around in circles. 

The overwhelming feeling of love between them often brought tears to the eyes of one or both. Tears begin to form in David’s eyes as his daydream quietly slips away leaving him back in the real world. David finds himself in his new bedroom. It’s 1,562 miles away from Josh and the secret love affair that they used to share. 

It’s the dreams that David has a night that cause him the most pain. They are so vivid and real that he can feel, smell, and taste Josh as he makes love to him. Everything is as it once was. Once again, David’s life has meaning and a purpose. His dreams are a continuation of what would be taking place had they not been separated. He dreams that they have both told their parents of the love that exists between them.

They no longer have to hide what they feel for each other. Josh’s parents hugged both of the boys there in the family room after their announcement. Everyone cried happy tears and even Josh’s father said that his son could not have picked a better person to fall in love with. Josh’s parents even came along for support when they told David’s parents. David’s mother was happy for them both while David’s father remained quiet for the most part. He cried but wanted the boys to know that his sorrow was not over his son’s sexuality but over the fear he had of the cruelty of other’s who might want to hurt them. 

Nevertheless, it was out. Now they didn’t have to hide anymore. How tragic it is for human beings to share such a wonderful feeling, yet have to hide it away out of fear of rejection or the threat of physical harm. That night Josh and David sat in the family room of Josh’s house with both sets of parents. David had fallen asleep in Josh’s arms and has never looked so peaceful. David woke to the sound of his mother voice. “Wake up sleepy head! We have to get going sweetie. Say goodnight to Joshua.” She said. 

David looked up at Josh and kissed him right on the lips. “I love you Josh” David said right in front of his mother. “I love you more” Josh replied with his parents sitting only a few feet away.
David walked home with his Parents and they talked about how much they loved Josh. And how happy they are for the both of them. David hugged his parents and told them how frightened he was that they wouldn’t accept him once they found out that he was gay. Not just gay, but in love with Josh.

David said good night to his parents and his father playfully said “Goodnight lover boy.” David smiled and went up to his bedroom room. He removed his clothes and stood naked at the foot of his bed. He stared at a semen stain that had been left behind by Joshua earlier that day. He closed his eyes and clutched his heart and thanked God for all that had been given. His life was perfect and he couldn’t think of anything that could possibly make it better.

Then David heard the sound of his mother’s voice again. “Wake up sleepy head. We have to get going or we’ll be late for church.”

Instantly David could feel that Josh was not there. He wasn’t asleep in Josh’s arms on the sofa in their family room. It’s real now. It is true. Josh is back in Minneapolis and they are no longer a loving couple. It was just a dream about what might have been if they hadn’t been taken away from each other. David’s mother calls out again through the bedroom door. “David! Wake up sweetie.”

“Okay!” He says trying to mask the sadness in his voice.

David was instantly rocked with incredible sadness. He has had another dream about his life with Josh. It was only a dream and none of those wonderful things actually happened. He and Josh didn’t come out to their parents. No happy tears were shed over their announcement. It was just the wishful thinking of a gay boy who is alone in this world with nobody to love. David thought to himself as he started to cry. “What am I supposed to do know? Who am I supposed to love? I don’t want to love anybody else! I love Josh and I promised him that I would never stop. Besides, who could ever love a stupid little queer like me? Why would they?” 

David covered his face with his pillow to quiet the sopping that had plagued him every time we woke from one of these dreams. There where a few times where he had to get out of bed and go into the garage and into the car so that his wailing screams wouldn’t wake his family. 

A few minutes later, David’s mother walked down the hallway past his bedroom. She could hear the muffled sounds of her son in pain. She had known since that first day of the trip from Minneapolis. She could no longer sit quietly by and watch her only son go through this alone. She slowly opens the door to find David curled up into a ball on the center of his bed. 

“Oh David! Sweetie. I know, I know. Mama’s here honey.”

David didn’t want to be seen like this. He didn’t want to have to explain what could be making him so sad. He wouldn’t have to.

“You really love him, don’t you David?”

David looked at his mother directly in the eyes. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. His mom sat on the bed next to him and rocked him like she hadn’t done in so many years.