David & Matthew

Matthew and David most likely became best friends as a matter of convenience. Others may believe that fate and destiny rule when it comes to love. The boys would tell you otherwise. When they met for the first time, Matt had recently been separated from his best friend after the boys’ parents filed for divorce and sold the family home. It was the greatest loss of Matthew’s young life. They moved away on the last day of school and Matt was left to spend the summer without the only friend that he had known his entire life. 

David also experienced the loss of a lifelong friend, a buddy, and his first love. When David’s dad accepts a dream job in California, the family moves away from the quiet street in Minneapolis where David had lived his entire life. His family packed up and moved away just as the summer was getting into full swing.

David watched his life slip away through the car window as they drove off. He was being very brave until they drove past his best friends house. David caught a faint glimpse of Joshua in the front window. They had said their good byes the night before, hoping to avoid what was about to happen. He tried so hard to hold it in, but he was the only one in that car who knew the true magnitude of the loss. He even tried to cry quietly, but the cries soon turned into wailing that could not be consoled. It had the whole family crying, even his father. Sleep was the only thing that stopped the crying and sobbing. About a hundred miles down the highway, David’s little sister made an innocent comment to her mother that will never be forgotten. It will become her defining moment as a mother.

“Look mommy! Butter is smiling.”

The worried mother turned and looked into the back seat. She expected to find her son in better spirits. She wanted to see his smiling face and tell him how much she loved him. What she saw was a boy that she could hardly recognized. He was sound asleep, unconscious actually. His eyelids swollen from crying. All that was recognizable was a slight smile that let her know that her boy was far away and dreaming.

It took only seconds for David’s mother to see what had been there all of the time. This uncontrollable sorrow was deep and the loss was more then friends, it had to be love. This is the moment where parents need to be on the lookout for the tell-tail signs of denial. Not their children’s, there own. When and if you suspect that a child is gay, stop!” Because if your next thought starts with the word “but” you’re already in fucking denial.” Don’t sit there trying to rationalize all of the reasons why it can’t be true. Go to the library; get online and read everything that you can about the subject. 

David’s mother couldn’t take her eyes away from her son. She looks at her son and feels guilt. He looks like someone else’s child. She had often thought about these warnings and precautions in his life. Sex, girls, drugs, smoking, alcohol, all of the things she told him he could talk to her about. She sees that smile. 

“My boy has fallen in love. I didn’t even see it How could he think that I would not love someone who loved him back?”

David’s little sister whispered softy again. “I think he’s dreaming mommy.” And then she puts her tiny finger across her lips Shhhh so that nobody wakes her big brother up. She is only 4-years old but still she did her best to comfort her big brother. She has yet to master the ability to pronounce certain words. In her baby voice, the word “brother” sounds like “butter”.

When David was sobbing and wailing earlier, it frightened her. She has never seen or heard anything like that coming from her brother. She yelled out from the back seat. Help! Mommy

“Mama butter is hurt. What’s wrong butter? Don’t cry okay, Please?” She even tried to place her tiny hand over his mouth. As if quieting the sound would stop the pain. “Shhhh I still love you butter.” David finally reached that point of emotional agony where his mouth hangs open, but no more sound comes out. He starts to choke and cough. He gets his head out of the window just in time to paint the side of the car with vomit.

At he first stop for gasoline, it was inevitable that he will wake up. He was quiet and immediately scrambled to get the headphones from his CD player over his ears. When anyone did make a motion that they wanted to say something, David simply shook his head and raises his hand in a sweeping motion as if to say go away, leave me alone!

While everyone went to the restroom, mom sat in the car and watched her son as he sat on a curb by the pay phones. He was rocking forwards and backwards with his eyes closed. Both hands are covering his ears as if he needs more music, less outside world.

He starts to wipe his eyes. Mom can tell, even from that distance, his crying has returned. She is so angry with herself. “What kind of mother am I?” She is playing back her fondest memories of David and Josh as they we’re growing up. Now everything is so clear and you’d have to be blind to not see the love between them.

She is startled when David jumps up and looks around. He looks like he’s about to take off running down the highway, or God forbid, into traffic. He leans over a trashcan and begins to vomit again. She jumps out of the car and runs to him. All she can do is be there, rub his back like when he was a child sick with the flu. She knew that saying nothing was better then “I can only imagine how you must feel” Because believe me when I tell you. Oh no you fucking can’t!

He stops and spits a few times and then stands up. “Are you okay honey?” is all she can say. David turned and looked his mother. “Nope…not okay mom! You get dad to back that car over me, I’ll be just fine.” Then he just turned around and sauntered into the men’s room. 

Now she is terrified. She knows that she is going to have to tell her husband about what she suspects. She’s so torn with different emotions. The one that is the most powerful is one that only a mother can feel. 

Everything inside of her wants to say “Fuck California! Fuck her husband’s job.” She wants to take her son by the hand and start running. Just go back, even if they have to crawl. She’d gladly march him right up to that boy’s door and beg him to make her son better. “Here! Kiss him! Do something! But give me back my Son! Please! I’m begging you!” 

The realities of sold house and a new one 1,500 miles make it impossible to think of anything but going forward. For better or worse, they had to continue. She could only hope that each mile would equal less pain. Already the boy’s mother begins to pray that he’ll find new friends. Yes, she’ll even pray that he’ll find new love. “He’s my son and I love him. No matter what!”

Fate is often a bitch. But when irony gets mixed in, amazing thing’s can happen. David’s family had only seen photographs of their new home. Along with the photos came a few maps that pinpointed the schools, shopping centers, city parks, and other points of interest. There was no mention of a boy named Matthew, who lives 5 houses away. 

Matt had just lost his best friend due to divorce. He has been distraught over his friend moving away for weeks now. His sadness is so deep that breaking into the vacant house where his best friend used to live was his only comfort. He goes up the empty bedroom where he and his best friend had laughed, cried, shared secrets. There is even a scent that still lingers in that bedroom. Matt knows that fragrance well. Its Ricky only his friend carries this scent. He can close his eye, breath in, and for a brief moment everything seems back the normal. 

“Yeah! He’s probably just downstairs getting us something to drink; he’ll be up in a second. Hurry up shit for brains! I’m thirsty!” Matt calls out in the cold and empty house. He can actually convince himself of this, even if it’s just a few minutes. 

Matt has no idea that a new best friend is already on his way. They have so much in common that it’s frightening. Both have recently lost best friends, both have the same birthday, both have secrets that are becoming to heavy to hold. 

He’s almost here! Fate says softly, So just hang on! Okay? Hang on and I promise that your lives will never be the same, ever!” 

START PART TWO HEREþþþ