Angel - Chapter 4

After dinner we all sat in the living room having what my mother liked to call cocktails. Really it was wine, beer and for my father, vodka and tonic. We were situated around the room comfortably, my mom and dad on the loveseat, my brother Brian, Diane and then Josh on the couch. Josh’s wife, Emily, was sitting in the overstuffed leather chair (on account of her bulging stomach) and Johanna and I were sitting on the floor against the fireplace, directly across from the sofa. Everyone seemed to be talking to each other and carrying on their own conversations. Josh looked at me.

“So,” he said. “How have you been?”

“Okay for the most part.” I smiled. “I see you’ve been busy.” I said nodding to Emily.

He smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, well, things happen.”

“So it seems.” I paused. “When did you get married?”

“Four months ago. It was a small ceremony, just our parents.”

I thought about this for a moment and then looked over at Emily. Well, I thought, she is more than 4 months pregnant. I looked back at Josh and he nodded his head.

“Yeah, it was a pre-honeymoon baby. Kinda happened I guess.”

“Uh-huh.” I looked down at my chipping nail polish and tried not to be hurt. Inside I was fuming, although I had no right to be, I mean after all I wasn’t here, but it still stung to see my first love married to someone else and her pregnant with his child. I sighed.

“Well, I am going to the kitchen to refill.” I said waving my glass. “Does anyone want anything?”

No one seemed interested so I stood and stepped over Johanna’s legs to walk to the kitchen. I saw out of the corner of my eye Josh getting up to follow me, but before he made it to the door, Emily grabbed his arm. 

“Grab me a glass of juice would you?” She asked of him sweetly. He took her glass and nodded. She smiled and returned her attention to Jo, telling her of her baby name choices. I wanted to gag.

I made it to the refrigerator and opened it to retrieve the bottle of wine stashed in the door and I felt hands around my waist and a breath on my neck.

“God, I’ve missed you Angel.” Josh said into my hair. I stood still for a moment, deciding what to do. “I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea what it is like here without you.”

“Sure. And I guess Emily just happened to keep you company while pinning away for me huh?” I said sarcastically.

“Angel, it was a mistake. She said she was on Birth Control. How was I supposed to know?”

“Duh. Wear a fucking condom.” I snapped back, stepping away from him and closing the door to the fridge.

“I know. I know! It was stupid. I was stupid. But this happened and my mother and especially her father wanted us to get married for the sake of the baby. I didn’t want to do it. Honest.”

He stepped so he was in front of me, a hand on either side of my body, leaning on the counter. I held my glass with my left hand with my right crossed across my middle. 

“Let me go.” I said

“Listen Angel, I need you.”

”What you need to do is let me go before your wife walks in here.”

“She won’t. Plus, I want to spend some time with you.”

I sighed. This was going nowhere. I had two choices: put him off or listen to what he had to say. I figured that he was going to say what he wanted anyway, so I might as well go with it.

“You never wanted to spend time with me before. I mean, all I was to you was a good fuck when you didn’t have a girlfriend and sometimes even when you did. I liked you Josh. I think I loved you at one point, but I am done now. Done. I have moved on, have my own life and you have yours. Don’t do this to me, or to you.”

“You don’t know what its like. She’s a bitch. We never fuck anymore. She sits on her ass while I work for her goddamn father. She complains and bitches about everything. When we do have sex, she’s like a fucking fish. Just lies there. I need you. I need to feel you again.” He nuzzled my ear and whispered, “I need to cum with you Angel. Just like old times.”

I leaned my head to the side and closed my eyes. God that felt good. Josh always had an effect on me, and he knew how to use his power on me. I moaned softly. “Yes.”

“Yes, Angel. You know you want me. Just like I want you. Need you.” He stressed the words. “I need to feel you.”

“Yes.” I said again, my mind betraying me.

“Okay. Tonight, meet me at the old barn up the hill. You know the one. With the loft.”

“That old thing is still there?”

”Yes, Meet me there at 11. Don’t tell anyone you are meeting me. Just be there.” He kissed my mouth hard, darting his tongue into my mouth swiftly. “Please be there.”

“What about her?” I asked, nodding towards the living room.

“She’s asleep by 9 for sure. I’ll stay up doing some work I brought from the office. I do it all the time. She won’t have a clue.”

I bit my lip for a second and then took a swig from my glass. I sighed. “Fine.” I said, “I’ll be there.”

Josh’s eyes lit up. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”

He turned back to the fridge and I walked to the living room, reclaiming my seat next to Johanna. I never did regret being with Josh and some small part of me wanted to be with him again.

Before it got to late, Diane Hart left with a promise to stop by tomorrow to take me and Johanna shopping for some ‘real’ clothes. Obviously our city clothes weren’t to hip in our small town in PA. Moments later Josh and Emily rose and headed for the door as well. 

“It was so nice to meet you finally,” Emily said to me after she gave me a hug good-bye. “I have heard so much about you. Angel this and Angel that. Its nice to put a face with a personality.”

I smiled, not sure of what to say. “Same here.” I said, because that was the first thing to pop into my head. She walked out the door ahead of Josh and when he hugged me he whispered again, “Be there.”

I pulled away and smiled and nodded slightly. He left after saying good-bye to my mother and Jo. With the door finally closed Jo looked at me.

“Holy Shit. You weren’t kidding!” She said. “He is one hot guy!”

I smiled. “Yup. He’s not too bad to look at.”

”Not bad? He is a fucking god as far as I’m concerned.” She paused. “Too bad he’s married.”

“Who said that had anything to do with it?” I said.

“You have got to be kidding me. Do you think he would go for that?”

”He is the one who asked me.”

”Are you kidding? Are you going to do it?”

“Yeah, why the fuck not? I’m entitled. And besides, his wife is a bitch he said.”

Johanna frowned. “I thought she was pretty nice.”

“Well, whatever. I am meeting him tonight at our old playground of sorts. Will you be okay here by yourself for a few hours?”

“Me? Hell ya. I am going to take a long hot bath in the huge bathtub and chill out for a while. This is my goddamn vacation and I want to enjoy it.”

“Okay, but only if you are sure. I don’t want to like dump you for a guy or anything.”

“Please. This isn’t 3rd grade.” Johanna said. “I’ll live. I just want to hear every detail.”

At 20 of 11 I stepped out the backdoor and into the cool night. The dew had already started into the grass and it made my feet wet. Small puffs of air could be seen each time I exhaled, but evaporated almost instantly. 

I took the trail through the woods, which was worn from years of me and my brother running with our friends to the old barn with the loft. When we were younger, we begged to have a tire swing put in and eventually my father made it out there and put one up. Of course this meant hay had to be placed in a pile so we could jump off into, but I think it was done so my father knew we weren’t going to kill ourselves.

15 minutes later I breached the hill and saw the gleam of the roof from the reflection of the moon. I jogged the rest of the way into the opening and into the barn.

“Hello?” I whispered softly. I glanced around, hoping nothing was going to jump out at me.

“You came.” Josh said from the corner of the barn. He walked towards me. He was bare-chested and my breath caught.

“Yes.”

“I’m so glad.” He said, closer now to me that he was able to take my head into his hands. He kissed me softly, and I swayed on my feet. “God I miss that.”

I pulled away to look at him. I wanted to hit him, yell at him, anything to let him know how mad I was at him for all those years he toyed with me. 

“Why did you ask me here?” I asked.

“Why? Because I wanted to see you. Alone.”

“But why? I mean, when I left here, moved to Baltimore you didn’t seem to care.”

”I know, I know.” He moved back so he was sitting on the bale of hay.

“It seemed to me that every time you came back to me, every time we made love, I thought ‘this is it. We are going to be together now’. And every time, you’d find a new Barbie doll girlfriend.”

“Angel, it was more complicated than that.” He sighed, and reached for my hand. Obediently, my feet moved toward him, standing now between his legs. “It couldn’t have worked. You father would have killed me if he knew.”

”My father has nothing to do with this. It was your deal, not mine. I…” I trailed off, biting my lip.

“You what?”

“I loved you. I would have done anything you asked. Since we were kids, I wanted to be something to you. The day in my basement, I thought that was the beginning. You took my virginity and then left. Just left.”

“Angel, baby, I didn’t mean to do it that way. It happened. I am not sorry it happened, but I did want you. I did like you. I do like you.”

“Josh, what do you want really? I don’t think I should be here.” I said and tried to pull away. Instead of letting go, Josh leaned against me, pressing his cool face against my stomach. I felt his breath through my shirt. He wrapped his hands around my back, starting to caress my ass.